A Love That Never Dies

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A Love That Never DiesFriday, October 11, 2013It was a Friday night and I was sitting in my outdoor hot tub, naked and alone. On the edge of the hot tub was my scotch. It wasn’t the cheap stuff; I drink Glen Morangie or Glenfiddich. When I was younger and didn’t have much money, I drank the cheap stuff; now that I have some money, I prefer single malt scotch.It really didn’t matter how good the scotch was, or how nice and warm the hot tub was, or how much privacy I had with a solid eight foot masonry fence around my back yard. None of that mattered, because I was alone. There are many things which do not live up to their reputation, but being alone is everything you ever heard about it . . . and more!I know. It sounds pathetic, and it is pathetic . . . but I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m just telling you the story. If you don’t want to hear it, stop reading now.Some folks are alone, by choice, their entire lives, like monks who live in a reclusive monastery, but those folks are a very small minority of the loners. Some folks live in loneliness because they are socially awkward, inept, or intimidated and, for them, life is so challenging, so scary that they prefer loneliness.Other folks live in loneliness because their lives have been shattered by some life altering event and they feel too much discomfort in facing the world after their reality has been horribly fractured. I am one of those folks. I wish I wasn’t . . . but I am.Up until a few years ago, I was happy, outgoing, gregarious, sociable, extroverted, etc. You get the idea. I had a life that would cause many men to feel jealous, not because I had attained my enviable position through artifice or chicanery, but simply because my position was so enviable.I came from a good middle class family in a decent neighborhood. I was blessed with academic ability and I always performed well in school, but I avoided being a book nerd or a geek. I had a decent social life when I was in high school and I dated a few girls, all of them smart and pretty. When I went to college, I joined a fraternity and I balanced the demands of my education with my need for physical affection from the opposite sex. I never kept score or compared my number of conquests with other guys but I was happy and quite successful with women without ever being accused of being a man whore.When I was in college, I loved history and political science. It seems like everyone was telling me that I should go to law school. My dad had a cousin who was a lawyer and he talked to me about it and it sounded better than anything else I could think of, so I went to law school. That’s not a great reason to go to law school, but that’s what happened and, in my case, it worked well.The truth is that law school was fun. I know, most folks think law school is extremely hard and totally absorbing and you sacrifice three years of your life to be totally devoted to learning the law. Quite a few lawyers will tell you how hard it was in school because they want you to think that they fought and killed the biggest dragon in the kingdom. Some CPAs will tell about how many CPAs don’t pass their exams on the first attempt. There’s some truth to their stories and, yes, law school was demanding, but I still had enough time to have fun, work a part-time job, and graduate with honors.After law school, I got a job clerking for an appeals court judge in Tallahassee. I worked in the court system for a few years and then got a job with a firm in Gainesville which handled a broad range of matters, including personal injury and wrongful death. It was a very honest and ethical group of lawyers, not ambulance chasers, and I learned so much while I was there for three years. At that point, I had the itch to open my own practice and I had saved enough money to make it happen.Hard work and my reputation, plus some help from professional friends, made my practice grow and it became fairly lucrative. I had a nice home, a nice car, and I saved money for retirement. I had a great assistant at the office and my life was good – damned good. My friends considered me to be one of Gainesville’s most eligible bachelors and I had no problem getting a date whenever I wanted one.That was seven years ago. At that point, I was still single, 32 years old, and I felt like I was in command of my life. I was the master of my destiny and, although I was very happy with the niche I had found, I also had additional professional advancements which were within my grasp whenever I was ready to take the next step.The next seven years of my life – from age 32 to age 39 – is what this story is about.On Friday, October 11, 2013, I was almost 40 years old, sitting alone in my hot tub. I didn’t want to see anyone, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I wasn’t a hermit – not entirely. I maintained my office and I did what I had to do, but I didn’t enjoy work. I had other people working for me and I delegated as much responsibility as I could.Outside of work, my social contacts were limited. I went to the grocery store about once a week. Sometimes, on weekday mornings, I would take a day off and go to the beach when it was unlikely that I would encounter many other people. On rare occasion, I would go to visit family members. Most of the time, however, I was at home and I was alone.At the moment, I wasn’t drunk. In another thirty minutes, I would be “feeling no pain.” Then, I’d probably start thinking about her, about the first time we were together, what she looked like, how she felt the first time I was inside her, and I’d get a boner. Then, I’d probably jerk off, bop the baloney, choke the chicken, beat my meat, take matters into my own hands, fuck my fingers, crank the love pump, do some handiwork, flog the log, free willy, grease my pole, take the sausage hostage, honk my own horn, make the bald man puke, milk the moose, pet the pig, have a peter pull at St. Taffy’s, yank my crank, stroke the bloke, wax the Buick . . . I guess you get the idea.Then I’d get in bed and – hopefully – pass out. That was the plan, because this was one more “day in paradise,” just like all the others. Tuesday, October 3, 2006″Mr. Darnell, your new client’s here for her appointment. I’ve already got her in the conference room,” Doreen announced. If it was just the two of us, she called me Tom, but it was always Mr. Darnell if a client or another attorney was present.Doreen Gunderson was a goddess. She was the best secretary/paralegal I have ever had. She started with me in 2002. She never called in sick, she was never late, she knew her job, she never acted like she knew more than what she did actually know. Even more importantly, she never acted like she knew more than me . . . and she was beautiful. I thought she was beautiful and I saw plenty of other men checking her out when they were in my office. Doreen looked sort of like Jennifer Love Hewitt. She was cute and, paradoxically, her face proclaimed both innocent vulnerability and sexy allure. She had shoulder length wavy brunette hair. Her breasts weren’t large (I’m not addicted to big boobs and, in fact, prefer small to medium size hooters) but they were certainly large enough. She always dressed in a manner which I thought was provocative but I doubt that she thought she was “asking for it.”There was nothing improper about our relationship but it was more than just a professional relationship between boss and employee. We each sometimes talked to the other about what was going on in our personal lives. Doreen was not my best friend but I knew that, if I confided something personal to her, she would respond with the best possible advice and then maintain it in confidence. She was a great woman, and under other circumstances, I would have been chasing after her . . . but she was off limits to me for two reasons.First, you should never screw the help. If they’re a good employee, you’ll end up losing them when you break up; and if you don’t break up, you probably end up marrying them, in which case you’ll probably lose them as an employee anyway. Second, Doreen was married. I usually called her “Miss Doreen,” because I am an old fashioned Southern boy, but I guess I should have been calling her “Mrs. Doreen,” although I didn’t think she was very happy in her marriage. Whether she was happily married or not, I would never allow myself to become the cause of anyone having their marriage fall apart. No sir, when I get old and I look in the mirror, I want to be proud of who I see looking back at me.So, I knew that Doreen was definitely off limits, but one of my body parts (a part south of the equator) didn’t know that, and it tended to be strong willed. On this particular day, the goddess was wearing a skirt that was so short that I’m sure I’d have seen her panties if she had bent over at the waist. I would have loved to see her panties – probably little silky, lacey, feminine things that barely covered the essentials. Yes, and I would have loved to pull those panties down. I would have loved to see what was being kept secret inside those little silk panties. I would have loved to get my lips around her nipples and see if I could make her cum just from licking on her precious little tits, and I’d really have loved to get inside her tight, hot . . .”Mr. Darnell, Mrs. Easter is waiting for you!” Doreen reminded me in a voice that sounded more like my mother than my sexy assistant. Still, if she wasn’t my secretary, and if she wasn’t married, I’d have turned her over the desk and fucked her in a New York minute. Being single and between girlfriends, I was horny. Hell, I would have fucked a hole in the floorboard at that point. Sometimes, trying to maintain a life with some standards is torturous. I’m not claiming to be a saint, but I usually try to do the right thing, like not screw the secretary.* * *”Hi, I’m Tom . . . Tom Darnell. Sorry to keep you waiting,” I introduced myself. As soon as I saw her, I really was sorry that I had kept her waiting. My new client was a beautiful blonde who appeared to be in her early thirties. She had a very pretty face with Nordic features. She was not particularly buxom and her clothes were not tight enough for me to guess her bra size, but that didn’t matter; she was a beautiful woman, regardless of whether she had bodacious boobs, medium mounds, or tiny titties tucked away in her bra. She was well dressed, well groomed, articulate, and I guessed that there was much more to this woman than just a pretty face.The next 1½ hours were spent on the usual information gathering interview that I do in all new divorce cases. The facts that she recounted painted a picture which was very sympathetic to her side of the case, and it was filled with enough details – some quite intimate – that I had no reason to doubt her veracity. Usually, when I meet a new divorce client, I ask them a series of questions to try to determine whether they are really ready for a divorce; I don’t want to file a dissolution for someone who is going to reconcile two weeks later. In this case, there was no question. I was convinced that my client was ready for a divorce and it truly was the right decision for her.Constance Easter had been married for 13 years to John Easter. They had married during their first year of college in Gainesville and she quit after her second year when she got pregnant with their daughter. She started working fulltime as an aide for the board of county commissioners; at that point in her life, she wasn’t really qualified for the job but it was almost an entry level job, she was bright, beautiful, and eager to learn, and I certainly would have hired her if it had been my decision. Connie continued working until just a few days before the baby was born; after her maternity leave, she returned to that job and had continued to work for the board. I have several friends who work for the county and we made small talk for a couple of minutes about a couple of our mutual acquaintances. In fact, it was one of those mutual friends who had recommended me when they learned that Connie needed an attorney for a divorce.His parents continued to help with the college expenses, and together with Connie’s income and support, John got through college with a 3.8 GPA. The university had an excellent medical school and his application had readily been accepted, meaning that Connie and John did not need to move to another college town for the next four years. Those four years went by quickly but the two of them had decided to not have any more c***dren until John had become established in a medical practice. Their little girl was Sally. Connie showed me a recent picture and Sally was a blonde cutie, just like her mother. Apparently, she had already proven that she was as bright as her parents. A full time job, supporting her husband in his career, and raising Sally had been enough to keep Connie busy through these years.After medical school, every physician must participate in a three year residency program. John had decided to specialize in obstetrics and gynecology and there was a good residency program in Atlanta, only about 350 miles away. John and Connie decided that Connie and Sally should stay in Gainesville, as they wanted to live here after the residency was completed. John would move to Atlanta, and he would commute back to Gainesville as often as possible. At that point, apparently, neither of them realized that John would be able to commute only once every three to four months, but they soon learned the hard way.By her account, which I didn’t doubt, Connie was a faithful wife and fulfilled her duties as a mother in superlative fashion. She did everything she could to support John during his residency. She frequently sent him care packages with home-baked goodies, clothes, and personal items. She called as often as she could but not so often that it would cause problems for John, and she did very little to bother him with the day-to-day minor problems at home. I was not surprised to hear John’s response. Connie’s good behavior was not rewarded. “He cheated on me, not just once, but over and over and over. He’s a selfish bastard and I hate him!” You can’t imagine how often I hear this story.I’ve handled a few unpleasant divorces and it isn’t unusual to see an otherwise proper and demure Southern girl turn into the demon from Hell when she has been rejected. “Hell knows no fury like that of a woman scorned,” but make that a Southern girl and even old Satan himself wouldn’t want to be near her. When a divorce client starts talking on this subject, especially a woman, I generally allow them to rant for a few minutes so they can dissipate their anger enough and, then, hopefully, continue a rational conversation. I also try to get an idea of the depth of their raw emotions. The fresher the wounds, the more difficult it will be to get the client to have realistic goals for the divorce case. blood may be what they want but I’ve never seen it awarded in a final judgment of dissolution of marriage.”I know some guys cheat because their wives don’t take care of them at home – or, at least, that’s their excuse – you know, they say she’s frigid. Well, that’s not the problem here. I like sex. I like it a lot and he got it as much as he wanted, so . . . I don’t want you feeling any sympathy for him: no empathy for the enemy. He’s just a son of a bitch!”She paused and looked at me as if she was judging something about me. “I don’t know if this is something that you routinely discuss with divorce clients but . . . it’s important to me. I need to know that you understand this is all his fault and . . . that I’ve done everything I can to keep things from getting this far. I need to know that you’re really on my side.””I’m on your side, Mrs. Easter. You seem like a very nice lady and he sounds like he’s not a very nice guy. Besides . . . you’re my client and I’ll present your case to the best of my abilities,” I defended myself against what was probably an unintended but implicit accusation.”I understand what you’re saying but that’s not quite enough. I mean . . . I probably haven’t told you enough to convince you . . . and I need you to really understand this, so . . . this isn’t something that I’d ordinarily tell a stranger, or even a close friend, but I want to make sure you understand that he’s the problem, not me.” She continued. “Well . . . I was raised to be a very modest Southern girl and I don’t consider myself to be an uptight prude but I rarely discuss sexual matters with anyone else, not even my own mother.””Well, you already told me that you like sex,” I reminded her with a smile.”Yes, well, that’s probably not the confession of the year and, besides . . . you’re my attorney and you need to hear these details.”I understand that’s the way you feel. I’m not asking about anything that private, but . . . if you think I need to know, I’ll listen very carefully, I’m not a judgmental person, and, of course, everything you tell me is confidential.” I do not routinely ask for details about sexual matters when I’m interviewing a new divorce client as it is rarely relevant to the case and it is a private matter. However, since Connie had been raised to be a very prim and proper young Southern lady and yet, despite that upbringing, she wanted to tell me about these matters, I would let her “spill her guts.” Apparently, her efforts to overcome her inhibitions and please her husband were, at least in her mind, the strongest measure of her heroic devotion . . . so she volunteered the details without hesitation. You can call me a sexist for offering this generalization, but it’s true: in my experience, women love to talk about sex if they can do so without being blamed or judged for it. Give them a slender excuse and they’ll tell you about every kinky little thing that they’ve ever done. That’s my experience. Connie began by telling me that, when John did come home, she would arrange for a friend to keep Sally overnight and Connie would indulge John in whatever his desires were. “When he came home and it was time to be intimate, I gave him whatever he wanted. Do you know what I mean by ‘whatever?'” she asked rhetorically. “I mean it wasn’t just missionary position regular sex. I really wanted to make him happy and I didn’t limit him to the options in the Proper Girl’s First Book Of Acceptable Married Sex. I want you to know how dedicated I was to giving him whatever he wanted. So . . . we’re both adults here, so . . . here goes. I told him to call me whenever he was feeling, you know, lonely . . . and we’d have . . . sexy talk on the phone. If he came home, I tried to give him whatever he wanted. I mean, if he wanted regular sex in the missionary position, I gave it to him, but if he wanted, like . . . oral sex, I gave it to him and give it to him good and I’d, you know, let him finish in my, uh . . . I guess you know what all guys want when it comes to oral sex. However he wanted to have it – doggy style, woman on top, reverse cowgirl, in bed, in the shower, on the kitchen table, whatever he wanted – we did it. My momma never taught me any of that stuff but I was bound and determined to make him happy. I actually looked at some porn online for a while to educate myself about some of the things that get guys aroused. And, one time, after we watched a porno together, he told me he wanted to do what they did in the porno, and . . . well, they did a lot, so I asked him ‘like what?’ and what it was is that he wanted, uh, sex, you know . . . ‘back there,’ and I was a good sport about it . . . I was surprised that it wasn’t that bad.”Page:”Once,” she continued, “he suggested a threesome but that was where I drew the line. I certainly didn’t want to share my husband with another woman. I tried to talk to him about that, I wanted to know if he had a particular woman he wanted to include in this threesome, I wanted to make sure that he was happy with me . . . but he acted like I was making a big deal over nothing, so I gave up trying to get him to talk about it. Looking back on it now, I think I know who he wanted to include, and . . . if I had agreed to it, maybe I could have held my marriage together, but . . . if that’s what you have to do to hold a marriage together, you don’t have a marriage.”She got quiet for a minute and it looked as if she was summoning her strength to continue with the details. “A couple of months later, I decided to surprise him by going to Atlanta for Valentine’s Day. I didn’t tell him in advance. Stupid, little naïve me. I thought I would just drive to his apartment and wait there to surprise him and we could get a pizza delivered and just spend the evening, uh, you know . . . acting like sex-starved teenagers. Anyway, while I was there, I found a pair of panties that obviously weren’t mine. I mean, they were a size 8, for heaven’s sake, and I’m a size 4. Anyway, so I asked John and, without missing a beat, he said he’d let a friend borrow the apartment for a ‘romantic’ interlude and the panties must have been left by the friend’s girl. He said it so casually and spontaneously that I just believed it without question. But . . . well, that was the end of his second year of residency and he didn’t come back to Gainesville at all during his third year.”She started crying, and I offered her some tissues. “Thanks. I’m sorry. I’m sure I sound like I was pretty stupid but . . ..””No, no, no. It sounds like you wanted to trust your husband. Marriages are supposed to be built on trust. You certainly don’t sound stupid,” I reassured her. “In fact, you sound quite bright to me.””Well, he said he didn’t have time to come home because he was the chief resident and it all sounded plausible at the time, but . . . anyway, he finished his residency two years ago and he finally moved back to Gainesville. He started in private practice with an established group and now he’s doing very well with his practice, we’ve got a great house with a pool and a hot tub and sauna, nice cars, but . . . I know sometimes he needs to work long hours and babies don’t usually call and schedule an appointment for their delivery, but . . . I started to get suspicious so I started driving by the hospital when he said he had a patient in labor and sometimes his car wasn’t there. So, about a month ago, I confronted him and, at first, he got mad but, all of a sudden, he confessed that he had been having an affair with another one of the residents in Atlanta and she had moved to Gainesville and was working with the same practice group, and they were seeing each other again.””You must have been devastated,” I interjected. It felt like a stupid comment for me to make, like, what are the alternatives? She felt elated? She felt vindicated? Obviously, she was devastated, but what else could I say?”At first, I was pissed off!” she exhorted and then she apologized. “Pardon my French.””No apology necessary. In fact, I, too, speak French,” I offered a small measure of humor to try to break the ugly mood of the conversation.”Well, I told him to pack a suitcase and get the hell out of that house and don’t come back. He left that night and, of course, he’s been back to get some more of his stuff and . . . you probably already figured out that he’s now living with Doctor Slut. Despite all of that, I’ve let him spend time with Sally. She’s 12 years old now and, for some reason, she idolizes the son of a bitch, but . . . she doesn’t understand; after all, why should she?”She began crying again. “What’s wrong with me? Am I ugly? Didn’t I do enough to please a man?” she asked. I’m not sure that she wanted an answer to that question, but she paused so long that I thought perhaps she was waiting on a reply, so I gave her an answer.”I can’t see that there’s anything wrong with you, Mrs. Easter. You’re a beautiful woman. If you weren’t my client . . . and if you weren’t married, I’d want to go out with you . . . absolutely. And, yeah, it sounds like you would have kept most men happy, so . . . I mean, hell, I’d be happy if any of my girlfriends were that eager to please me, so . . . I don’t think it’s your fault. Some guys just aren’t suited to settling down and being monogamous. You know what? After you get divorced, he’ll probably marry Dr. Slut and then cheat on her. And won’t that bitch be surprised?”Connie laughed. “So, you do speak French.””Oui, oui, I speak that kind of French,” I joked. “Well, now that we’ve had a laugh, we’ve got to spend a few minutes with something that might be unpleasant for you . . . but we’ve got to do it. So, here goes. After we serve him with the divorce papers, he’ll go get a lawyer and, believe it or not, he will freely confess to his lawyer that he’s had an affair. So, after his lawyer hears about that, he’ll say, ‘John, it’s going to be rough trying this case in front of a judge, unless you’ve got some dirt on her, too, so . . . what kind of dirt is there on Connie? Tell me all the stuff she hopes doesn’t get talked about in court.’ Connie, if his lawyer is going to hear about it, I need to hear about it . . . and now, not later, not as we’re walking in to court for a final hearing. So tell me, Connie, what will John tell his lawyer about you. However embarrassing it is, I need to hear it and I need to hear it now, so don’t even think about what you’re going to tell me, just start talking.””Wow, you’re brutal, aren’t you?” Connie said, probably wanting to stall the conversation.”Only when I need to be. Now start talking,” I replied. “Spill the beans!””We both smoked pot a few times when we were freshmen in college. I shoplifted a shirt when I was 14 years old but I never got caught and I’ve never done anything like that since then. Last year, he wanted to watch me ‘do’ myself and I know that he took a picture of me with a vibrator inside my . . . you know. We always celebrated my birthday by me getting drunk and letting John have, uh, you know, usually. . . anal sex with me, but I don’t think he took any pictures of that. Oh, and the reason John suggested having a threesome was because I told him I had fantasized about it, but when he suggested us doing it for real, I realized it was just a fantasy and nothing that I wanted to do in real life. But, if I had any offers now, I’d fuck somebody senseless just for revenge, even if it meant doing a threesome.””Wow. It takes a lot of courage to admit those things to a stranger . . . but, the good news is . . . you don’t need to worry about any of that stuff. His attorney will never bring up that both of you smoked pot 10 or 11 years ago. You weren’t arrested or convicted of a crime so the shoplifting incident isn’t admissible. The fantasy thing isn’t relevant to anything we need to talk about in court. The birthday sex thing is . . . well it’s interesting, for sure, but it would probably be as embarrassing to him as it would be to you, so I wouldn’t worry about any of those things being discussed in court. If he brought that picture out in court, he’d get judged pretty harshly for taking the picture and then bringing it out to embarrass you. And, if you’re serious about the revenge sex, think twice about it. Unless you’re very upfront about what you’re doing, it’s not very fair to whoever you choose to be your partner and you’ll feel lousy about it later on. In fact, you should avoid dating anyone until the case is finished. If we ever need to argue about custody in court, your sex life is an issue that I want to be a non-issue.””How’s a girl supposed to have fun?” Connie asked flirtatiously. Ten minutes earlier, she was talking like she was ready to shoot John and then set him on fire. Then she was telling me all that embarrassing stuff about herself. But, in the space of sixty seconds, she had bounced out of that mood and was talking with me in a way that I thought was openly flirtatious.”The same way you had fun all those years he was in Atlanta,” I said. “I assume that you and that vibrator you told me about have been the best of friends in the past and it may be time to renew the acquaintance.” I offered her a sympathetic smile. I realized that my response had probably crossed the line and might have been interpreted as flirting, so I got more serious. “Connie, being a good mom isn’t always easy, but it’s obvious you’re a good mom, so be patient and don’t do anything to screw this up, okay?”After that caveat, I proceeded to advise Connie about no fault divorce, c***d custody, visitation, c***d support, alimony, and division of assets and liabilities. We talked about the process of divorce, both the legal process and the psychological process of healing. I suggested a psychologist and a support group.We talked about my fees. We talked about how often we would need to meet. We talked about likely outcomes for her divorce. All of her questions were answered – I thought.After she stood to leave, she turned back towards me to pose the proverbial one-more-question. “Do you ever meet a client for dinner, you know, after hours?””Come back in and sit down,” I instructed her.As soon as she was seated, I started. “Connie, if you weren’t my client, and if you weren’t married, I would LOVE to have dinner with you. Now, I just met you and I don’t know you very well, but my impression is that you’re bright, sensitive, caring, energetic, and, obviously, you’re beautiful. You’re the kind of woman my mother hopes I’ll bring home to meet her and dad. . . . You’re also the kind of woman my bachelor friends warn me about, the kind of good woman who will steal your heart and make you want to settle down in ignorance-is-blissful monogamy. You might just be the perfect girlfriend for me, but ‘you’ and ‘me’ aren’t going to become an ‘us’ for three reasons.”She had a look on her face like a schoolgirl being chastised. Damn, she was cute!”First,” I began, “you are still a married woman and I don’t date married women. Period. Not now, not ever, not negotiable. It doesn’t matter if you’re separated and in the process of a divorce. Not negotiable. I don’t live at the corner of Saint Street and Virtue Avenue, but . . . most of the time, I try to do the right thing . . . and dating married women is wrong.””Second, you’re looking for someone for revenge sex and I don’t want to be used for that purpose. I’m not accusing you of consciously trying to use me, but . . . listen, I’m sure it would be more fun than a barrel of monkeys, and one day, I may kick myself in the ass for not taking you up your offer, but . . . no.””Third, and most important, the bar has very strict rules against having sex with clients. You can probably guess what the rule is, right? Well, when the legal representation has ended, the rule stops applying, but until then, the answer is no. Not just ‘no,’ but ‘hell, no!’ I have a reputation as being a very ethical lawyer and I’m going to keep my reputation intact. But, I don’t want you to feel badly; you’re a VERY tempting woman. If I was ever going to break the rule . . . it would be with you . . . or your twin sister. When the case is over and I’m not your lawyer any more . . . and you’re not married, and . . . you’re not just wanting to get revenge on Dr. Buttface . . . well, we’ll see what happens then.””Finally, just in case you’re going to remind me that you only asked about dinner and you never said anything about sex: we are both adults and we both know that if we meet for dinner, after dinner we’ll have a few drinks, you’ll look at me in a certain way, I’ll look back at you the same way, and we’ll both be headed down the slippery slope that leads to us having each other for dessert.”Connie looked at me and smiled. “I can tell that you’re a great lawyer. And, I hear you . . . and I respect everything you’re telling me, even if I don’t like the answer, so . . . I hope I’ll get a different answer if I ask again when the case is over.” “If you do, and if I’m not dating anyone else monogamously at the time, the answer will be . . . probably, yes.” I finished the sentence by giving her a very sly smile.”Aren’t you the sly Mr. Fox?!” Connie said seductively.”At the present, it’s the sly Attorney Fox,” I reminded her with a feigned dour expression.* * *Over the next six months, I filed Connie’s divorce, her husband hired an attorney, we gathered all the required financial disclosures. Doreen and I spent several hours absorbed in John’s financial documents. It wasn’t unusual for Doreen and me to spend hours working literally side-by-side, but each and every time was somewhat taxing for me. I have always been very strongly attracted to Doreen but I have also always intended to be a very good boy. As I said before, doing the right thing is not always easy, but I’ve never done anything with Doreen; never held her hand, never kissed her, never tasted her taco, never gave her a poke.After we reviewed those documents, I called Connie in to the office and showed her the credit card expenditures where John had bought his girlfriend gifts, paid for flowers, weekend motel rooms out of town, meals at nice restaurants, etc. She had been distraught previously but now she was angry and she didn’t cry. That was a good sign; it meant that she was progressing through the grieving process and she probably wouldn’t get stuck and become obsessed with how she had been wrongly treated.I deposed Connie’s husband and it was fun making him squirm. Connie was right; it looked like she had devoted herself to John and he turned around and took advantage of her. I sent Connie for a psychological evaluation to make sure that there wasn’t likely to be any persistent trauma as a result of John’s philandering and the divorce. The psychologist said she was rather normal and would probably be okay with the passage of time.I deposed John’s CPA and I deposed the senior partner in his medical practice. I actually had a legitimate purpose in deposing John’s superior but I did also revel in the fact that I was making John’s life a little bit uncomfortable. Later, I made gestures as if I wanted to depose Dr. Slut. That’s the one that always gets their attention. At that point, John’s attorney asked me to postpone the deposition while he put together a settlement offer.Along the way, there were a few more conferences with Connie . . . but always in the office, always during normal business hours. On one occasion, Connie brought Sally with her. I met Sally in the reception area and had her wait there while I spoke with her mother. Sally was almost a clone of Connie and was obviously destined to become a bright and beautiful temptress to the next generation of men.Throughout the representation, Connie never again suggested any meetings after hours and I was glad that matter had been resolved at the outset. Here’s a little bit of the wisdom that I have gleaned from 39 years of life: the best way to respond to temptation is to avoid it. I know most people understand that, but in some situations, it helps to be reminded of the obvious.On every occasion that we met, Connie was dressed to impress, always appropriate to the circumstances and never overly suggestive. She was pleasant and I heard very few complaints about her spouse like those that I normally hear in divorce cases. She smiled often, we had lots of eye contact, and there were a few moments when I felt that my resolve might begin to weaken. Connie was not demanding or unreasonable in her expectations and she didn’t try to use more of my time than had been allotted for our meeting. In short, she was an ideal client, and she was always a subtly provocative woman. She was a testament to the power of a woman to pique the interest of a man without lewdly showing any hint of her private treasures. I was determined to follow my own rules, but I had decided that I would want to date Connie when our case was concluded. I hoped that she would still be interested in me.Wednesday, April 4, 2007At last, we had a court-ordered mediation conference. We had already been in negotiations but had not finalized a deal, so I expected that we would complete the process at mediation. Connie had sacrificed dearly for John to advance to his present position but placing a value on her contribution involved some assumptions and some amount of speculation. We had plenty to argue about but we all knew there was no way John would be able to avoid the wrath of a trial judge after he or she heard the testimony about his adulterous affair and the testimony about the significant sacrifices Connie had made for his benefit. We also profited from the fact that Gainesville is a small town and news about the divorce would circulate in the professional community. It wouldn’t look very good to his colleagues . . . even if many of them were hypocrites and engaged in the same behaviors. Ultimately, John caved in and agreed to a generous settlement: he gave Connie the marital home, he would make all house payments until Sally graduated from college, he would pay substantial amounts for c***d support and, in lieu of alimony, John would pay Connie a lump sum of $500,000 in installments of $50,000 per year for ten years.Connie was delighted with the settlement and, the following day, she had flowers delivered to my office. I have received gifts from clients a few times but I have never – not before or since – received flowers from a client. I expected Connie to renew the dinner invitation which she had extended at our first meeting, but she didn’t. Not then. We still had to make an appearance in court to get the divorce finalized and entered by the court. It was just a formality but an absolutely essential part of the process.Thursday, May 24, 2007We went to court and saw Judge Thomas in chambers. Connie was dressed impeccably and she was very, very attractive. She looked like a woman with lots of class and it’s a look that low-class and no-class women cannot fake.It was a very brief hearing and we stopped to talk for a few minutes afterwards. I reminded Connie of a few of the details about how the financial arrangements would work. I also told her that my expectation was that she and John would not return to court to fight about anything and she would probably not continue to need my services.”So, this is it?” she asked, pretending to be overcome with sadness.”That’s right,” I responded nonchalantly. I knew what she was going to say next.”So, that means you can pick me up for dinner around 7:00 tomorrow, okay? Obviously, you know my address and it should be easy for you to find.””Whoa! Are you asking me to dinner?” I paused for dramatic effect, because any good lawyer knows the value of a good, uncomfortable pause. “Don’t you think that’s rather forward?” I asked in a voice that pretended to be insulted. “You know, I’m kind of a traditional guy and . . . you’re a traditional lady, and . . . you know the guy is supposed to do the asking!””Okay. So, are you going to ask me to dinner tomorrow night?” she asked.I really wanted to be with this woman but something inside of me didn’t like her thinking that she was in control of the situation. “I’ll think about it. I’ve got your phone number if I want to ask,” I answered with a smile. If I was going to have any relationship with Connie, I wanted to have some ground rules established, and I didn’t want to begin with her thinking that she owned me.Connie looked somewhat crestfallen. “It’s over now and I thought . . .” she began, but I interrupted her.”There’s nothing wrong with you, Miss Connie. You are a very desirable woman, but . . . you need to slow down and not be in such a rush. If you try to make things happen, you’ll repeat your mistakes of the past . . . and I don’t want to be one of your mistakes. Just let things happen and the right things will eventually happen for you. Besides, I know that you want to find a traditional kind of guy and you need to let a traditional guy do the things that a traditional guy does, like asking the lady out instead of vice versa.””Okay, but . . .” she started and again I interrupted by pulling her body to mine and giving her a platonic but extended hug. I know that the hug only caused her to be more confused about what was happening between us. She looked up at me and she looked into my eyes with that look that combines lust and love, but perhaps that was just wishful thinking on my part. I could tell that she wanted to say something so I immediately put the tip of my finger on her lips, indicating that she needed to keep her thought to herself.”Soon,” I said as I turned and walked away.* * *About fifteen minutes later, I called Connie on her cell phone. “Hey, this is Tom,” I announced.”Oh, hi. Was there something you forgot to tell me at the courthouse?” she asked.”No. This isn’t about your divorce case. Since the first day you walked into my office, I’ve thought that you’re a wonderful woman and a beautiful lady and I know you’ve probably got a line of guys waiting to take you out, and it’s kind of late to be asking but, would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night?” I asked.”Can I think about it?” she asked. Obviously, I thought, she wanted me to feel what I had made her feel just a few minutes earlier.”Okay, but don’t wait too long, because Doreen just called me and said there’s a line of women waiting outside my office and they all want to go to dinner with me tomorrow night.””Tom Darnell, you’re really quite full of yourself, aren’t you?” Connie teased me.”No, not really. I’ve just . . . I’ve been expecting this to happen and . . . well, cool guys aren’t supposed to say these kind of things to a lady, and if you ever repeat this, you’ll ruin my reputation, but . . . the truth is, I’ve really been looking forward to this and . . . I just want to hear you say ‘yes.'””So . . . all I have to do to make you happy today is say ‘yes?'” she asked. “Yes, ma’am. I’m really a simple guy and that’s all it takes to make me happy today.””Okay, here it is,” she said. “Yes. Pick me up at 7:00 pm, and . . . this is my first date in f******n years, so please don’t take me to McDonalds for dinner.””No, ma’am. No Golden Arches for you,” I promised.Friday, May 25, 2007Sometimes, when I have a first date with a woman, I don’t get particularly excited about it. I’ve had enough experience to feel comfortable with dating and all of the rituals that traditional guys go through in the courting process, but sometimes it just isn’t fun. And, sometimes, I just don’t have very high expectations for new prospects. You might call me a well-seasoned veteran of the dating wars.If the next candidate-in-waiting is overly eager because she thinks she’s going to marry me and get all my money and never need to work again . . . well, desperate women can do desperate things, and quite often they will ignore the three-date rule. If that’s the way they are, and they are willing to plan and manipulate to try to take advantage of me, and if they are at least reasonably attractive . . . I let them play their game. I get a few drinks in them and I take them back to their apartment – always back to their place and never to mine – and we have down-and-dirty, hot, a****l sex. I’m talking about screwing her until her eyes pop out and she begs me to stop. I’m talking about fucking her so hard that it hurts for her to walk the next day. I cum in her mouth, I cum in her pussy, and anywhere else that she lets me. I never do anything to a lady against her will and of course I never do anything by use or threat of force, but . . . I don’t really care if she likes it or has fun; if she doesn’t respect me, why should I respect her? I’m not a disrespectful chauvinist pig or whatever women call men who are selfish users, but what I do isn’t any more disrespectful than what they’re trying to do to me. If they think they can take advantage of me, they don’t deserve to be respected, so the only thing left is the basic satisfaction of primal needs . . . so I fuck them good and then I never call them again. Those aren’t the kind of women that I want for a long-term relationship and I give them no more, and no less, than what they deserve.I have dated a number of women who did not fit that description, and I really don’t have a jaded opinion of the opposite gender. I love women. I love good women. I want a good woman. I just don’t approach a first date with any expectations. However, Connie was so different; she had my attention from the first time I met her. She was the polar opposite of the designing women who I had met in the past. I knew Connie well enough to know that she was a classy lady and I knew that she didn’t need me for financial support. I knew that she was as sweet as orange blossom honey and I knew that she was dedicated, faithful, and loyal to the people whom she loved. Guys won’t often admit it but, sometimes, we look at women and evaluate them as potential wives. Some of us really do want to settle in to a long-term relationship and we aren’t just interested in notches in the bedpost. Connie would be a good catch for any guy worthy enough to hold her attention.So . . . I was excited about this first date. I got a haircut. I had my car detailed. I made dinner reservations at my club and I made sure that we had a nice table reserved. I left work early and went home and showered. I cleaned up and made as good a showing of myself as I could. I knew I already had Connie’s interest but I wanted to send a signal that I was excited about our date. I know that strategy is not covered in the guys’ first book about girls, but I don’t follow the book; never have, never will.I picked her up at 7:00 pm sharp. Connie was dressed in a very attractive gold sequined dress with a bust line just low enough to make me want to see more of her feminine assets. The jewelry she wore was tasteful and not gaudy. She was wearing a perfume that I only smelled when I got close and, then, it made me want to smell more of her. It was a very sexy effect. She was like a siren calling Ulysses but this siren’s song was just as powerful though much more subtle.Connie had obviously spent some time getting herself ready for the date, not that she needed to worry about her appearance. Obviously, she also was excited about our date and she wanted me to know it. Hell, it was her first date in 14 years. I knew she was nervous and excited, and I knew that she liked me.We started the date with dinner at the club. The food was excellent, the service was superb, the atmosphere was elegant, and my date – as I already described – was beautiful. I noticed more than a few guys stealing glances at Connie when their wives or date weren’t looking. So far, it was the best date of my life and I felt like the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet to have this woman sitting at my table. Men can be Neanderthals, even men with bonus IQ points, and Connie brought out all of my a****l instincts. My woman! You can look and drool, but don’t come closer and don’t touch!During dinner, I avoided “serious” conversation, meaning that neither of us talked about prior romantic relationships or her marriage. We talked about our families, where we grew up, our musical tastes, the most recent movies we had seen, and all the other “stuff” that people talk about on first dates. In addition to our physical attraction and mutual respect, Connie and I discovered that we had much in common. We both enjoyed live music and liked to attend classical music concerts as well as classic rock concerts. We both preferred comedy movies and our favorite comedian was Steve Martin. We both loved day hikes in the North Carolina mountains and we both loved a good, thick T-bone steak.After a very pleasant and leisurely dinner, we moved to the adjoining lounge and had a few drinks while we listened to a live band playing easy listening/soft rock. When the band started playing a few slow songs, Connie asked me to dance with her.When we got on the dance floor, there were several other couples all doing what real dancers sarcastically call “the hug and wobble.” No one else was watching us and it was like one of those old movies where the guy and girl are on the dance floor and the rest of the world fades out; nothing existed except Connie, me, and the immediate moment. She placed her arms around my waist and pulled me close enough that I’m sure she could feel the boner which was beginning to form down south. However, if she felt it, she didn’t say anything about it.She placed her head on my shoulder and spoke softly. “I’m so glad it’s finally over. I’ve been ready to move on with my life and now I’m free to do it. And you were great. Thank you.””Connie, with most of my clients, there’s a certain amount of sadness that comes with a divorce, you know, an admission that a chapter of your life was a mistake that couldn’t be fixed, especially for the folks that have a c***d. But I understand the sense of relief, and . . . I have a selfish reason to be glad that it’s over. It feels good standing here with your arms around me, and we wouldn’t be here if you were still married, so I’m glad you’re finally free.””I’ve wanted you since the day we met, so the feeling’s mutual,” she responded.”I want to make sure you understand something,” I began. “I’ve been single for a while, I’m a successful attorney, and there are lots of good looking single women looking to snag somebody like me. Most of them will jump into bed on a first date if they think that will help, so . . . I don’t have any problem getting laid, if that’s what I want, but . . . I don’t put notches in my bed post and I don’t keep score; that’s something I got over a long time ago. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m sure I’d enjoy every second of it if we were between the sheets but . . . you just got divorced and you’re probably nowhere close to ready to have a relationship. I know there’s some chemistry between us, but I don’t have any expectation of us having sex tonight or the next date or the date after that. I’m not saying I’m opposed to it, either. If you want to have sex, we can do that, but I hope you know that’s not all I want.” I was looking straight into her eyes as I spoke to her and I know that my words stuck a chord with her. I knew that she wanted more.”What makes you think that I want to have sex with you?” she asked with a very serious look on her face. About two seconds later, I started laughing and then she started laughing. “Okay, I guess that was lame.”We both looked into each other’s eyes. I felt an openness with Connie, a direct communication with nothing hidden by innuendo or concealed with ambiguity. I knew, or at least I felt, that I could reveal anything about myself and she wouldn’t laugh or run away. I felt my heart unlock and I was overwhelmed with the beauty of this moment. It was at this moment that Connie stole my heart. That is precisely when it happened.”So, there’s something you need to know about . . . but don’t worry, it’s nothing about a sex change operation. First, everybody in the world has warned me about falling for the first guy who comes along. You know, ‘just date but don’t get serious,’ they all say. But . . . you really impressed me the first time we met. I could tell that you’re a man of integrity and that you really care about your clients but, still, at that point, I’ll admit I was just flirting. Then, every time we met, you did something or said something that made me want to be with you even more. I don’t want to let a good man pass by just because of what my friends tell me.”She paused briefly, then continued. “Not being able to pursue you was frustrating to me and the only release was . . . well, you jokingly told me to tend to my needs with the battery operated boyfriend – I don’t know if you remember that, but I certainly do – and there were lots of times that I thought about you when . . . you know, but . . . this isn’t just about sex. I’ve had several offers over the past six months but . . . you want to know how many notches I have in my bedpost? One, just one, the one I just divorced. I know I’ve been a bit forward, and unusually . . . I guess, flirtatious, but I’m not a slut, not even a high-class slut, and you wouldn’t have a chance with me if I didn’t have some genuine feelings for you more than just feeling, uh, horny. I want to give myself to somebody who I can trust, and I want to feel trust, and appreciation, from them. I hope that’s you.”I looked down at her and brought my lips to hers. I briefly felt her lips and I thought I felt, momentarily, the tip of her tongue. It wasn’t a chaste kiss but it wasn’t a pull-down-your-panties-and-let’s-fuck-right-here kiss, either. It was the kiss that two people share in that moment when they say to each other, “everybody else might think we’re crazy but let’s explore this thing together and hope we find gold.””I just want a guy to love me the way I love him. Is that too much to ask?” Connie posed rhetorically.”You know, I’m not in love with you Connie. I like you and I respect you and, if I spend enough time with you, I may fall in love with you. God knows that I’m in lust with you!” I said. Connie grinned. “For me . . . if I go home with you and we have sex, it won’t be fucking. It’s a way of saying that I trust you and I want you to trust me and I want to know that I can please you physically.””Tom!” Connie said with some mild emphasis in her voice. “You had me at ‘hello.'””Well, Southern girl, you can stop working your voodoo spell on me, too,” I smiled. “Where’s your daughter tonight?” I asked. She got a glint in her eye that told me that she understood – she understood beyond doubt – why I was asking that question.”Spending the night at a sleepover with one of her friends. She won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.””Very convenient! I guess you had all of this planned from the beginning!” I teased. “Maybe,” she slowly and seductively replied, “I had it planned . . . just in case.””When I take you home, I can kiss you goodnight at the front door and walk away feeling like a very lucky guy, looking forward to our next date. But if you invite me in . . . you won’t need to work anymore graveyard dirt or chicken bones or roots on me and you won’t need to get me liquored up; you’ve already got me. I’ll spend the night and I won’t be sleeping on the sofa. So . . . it’s your call and there’s no pressure . . . really. In fact, I’ll ask you for a second date right now, regardless of what happens tonight. Connie, what would you like to do for a second date?”She thought about it for a minute and then responded, “I think I’d like for us to have breakfast together.””How soon do you want us to have this breakfast date?” I asked.”How about tomorrow morning?” she smiled as she responded.”I’m not sure I can wake up that early on a Saturday morning,” I cautioned her teasingly.”Don’t worry, Tom. I’ll come back upstairs and wake you when breakfast is ready.” The sly smile on her face told me all that I needed to know. I quickly signed the tab and we headed for the exit.We got in my car and drove back to her house. My car has bucket seats so she couldn’t slide over and get cozy with me, but we did do something that seems to be a dying art: we held hands. It wasn’t a nervous, sweaty palms kind of hand holding. It was a comfortable-like-wearing-old-gloves holding of the hands. As we held hands, I thought about the dates I had when I was a teenager and how nervous I was when I attempted to hold hands with a girl for the first time. That shy little k** had vanished a long time ago.As we got close to Connie’s home, we stopped talking. I know that I was a little bit nervous about the evening. Men who are concerned about their partners always experience a bit of performance anxiety before the first time with a lady. Will I be good enough? Am I big enough? Will I make her cum? Will I make her feel satisfied? The last few minutes of our ride, there was no conversation as I was lost in thought.As I pulled into her driveway, I gently squeezed her hand to reassure her. She looked at me and smiled. “You seem to have been lost in your thoughts. Would you care to share them?” she asked.I was afraid that she might think she wasn’t good enough to hold my attention, so I decided on what some men would evaluate as a risky strategy. I told her the truth. “I was thinking about being in your bedroom, getting naked with each other, being intimate and close and . . . I was thinking about whether I would make you feel satisfied. You see, despite what women think they know about men, we actually have some bedroom insecurities, too. It would be nice to know – now – that, tomorrow morning, you’ll feel glad that you invited me into your bed.””Tom, very few men would admit to having those feelings but I bet you make me cum like a party girl at a gang bang!” she joked with me. That was certainly not the response which I had expected.I laughed. “You are a different kind of woman, Connie. You seem so – classy – and then, every now and then, these naughty-little-girl comments sneak out and . . . holy fuck, I’m so hard for you!”I parked and opened the car door for her, then offered her my hand to assist her in getting out of the car. I know what good manners are because (you may not believe this) I learned them when I was in a fraternity in college. It’s true, though that it not what most people think about fraternities. Those lessons have served me well, because good manners and chivalrous behavior always impress truly good women.When we got to her front door, we stopped for her to find her key. She put the key in the lock and turned it without opening the door. She turned to me and extended her hand as if she was going to offer me a handshake instead of a goodnight kiss.I looked down at her hand and then back up at her eyes. “That wasn’t very convincing,” I said as I moved my lips towards hers. As soon as we connected, her mouth was open and her tongue was probing. I matched her ardor as I thrust my tongue into her mouth. My right hand was on her back and I slid it down to her ass and pulled her body to mine in a tight embrace. My right leg was extended down between her legs and her crotch was against my upper thigh.I whispered into her ear. “I want you. I want to make love with you. I want to be inside you. I want to hear you cum. You’ve been getting me aroused since the moment I first got here, and now I’m an a****l, an a****l that needs to be inside you . . . real bad.””Let’s go in before the neighbors report us to the morals board,” she quipped, “then we can be real bad . . . or real good . . . or both.””The sooner, the better,” I said.She opened the door and then locked it behind us after we had entered. “I don’t need another drink; do you?” she asked.I shook my head in a negative response.”I’ll give you the grand tour of the chateau tomorrow, okay?” she asked in a way that told me it wasn’t really a question.”Just lead me to your bedroom,” I said.She took my hand and led me through a foyer and family room, through a hallway, and then into her bedroom.”I hope you don’t mind but I usually sleep naked,” she said coyly.”That’ll work out just fine, because . . . I was planning on getting you naked and . . . I didn’t bring any pajamas with me,” I explained rather innocently.”Well, then, let me get you ready for bed,” Connie suggested.Without waiting for a response, she removed my jacket and then my tie. She unbuckled by belt and unfastened my pants, letting them drop to the floor. She knelt down and untied my shoes, loosened them and pulled them from my feet. She slipped the socks from my feet and tossed my pants aside.Then she stood, unbuttoned my long-sleeved white shirt and pulled it away from my torso. Next was my t-shirt and it was gone quickly. I was standing before this goddess wearing nothing but my boxers and my excitement was obvious; my member was standing up and saluting Connie for a job well done.”Now it’s my turn,” I said with a smile.”Okay, but . . . well, first, you’re going to be only the third guy in my life to see me naked. I didn’t have sex with the first one and the second guy decided that what I’ve got isn’t enough, so he divorced me, and . . . well, it’s just, I know how guys are about boobs, and . . . mine really aren’t that big, and I hope that you won’t . . .”I quickly placed the tip of my finger to her lips to suggest that she needed to end her sentence right there. “Don’t you even say it. Every guy does not want a girl with humongous watermelons on her chest. I haven’t seen you naked . . . yet, but I’ve seen you in enough different clothes to guess that you are probably a 34A, and . . .””How’d you know?” she asked.”Lucky guess. Listen, that last guy messed you up if you’re worried about how you look, ’cause you’re beautiful. Out on that dance floor tonight, when we were slow dancing, I felt your boobs rubbing against my chest, and it was driving me crazy. Okay, I know your boobs aren’t big and we both know it but, personally, I can’t stand big tits and I’m so glad you don’t have massive mammaries. It took a lot of self-control for me to not rip off your dress and m***** your boobs right there on the dance floor and I’m more than ready to see them, and lick them, and suck on them, and, as far as making disclosures, you have no idea how big my . . . unit is, but . . . it’s not humongous, either. It’s about 5½ inches when I’m hard and it shrivels up when it’s not in use, so if you’re looking for King Kong’s Ding Dong . . .” “Tom, 5½ inches is plenty enough and I’m already wet thinking about you being inside me, so let’s stop talking,” she suggested.”Good idea,” I responded. “Great idea. Now, turn around.”She turned to face away from me and I reached up to unhook the clasp at the top of her dress. As soon as I had that done, I grabbed the zipper tab and lowered it to below her waist, exposing the back of her white silk panties. I had expected a slip but there was none. I pushed the dress off of her shoulders and she did that little shimmy that women do, allowing her dress to fall to the floor. Connie was standing, facing away from me, wearing just her bikini-style panties and bra. They were a matching set, of course, and I felt the elephant man getting even harder as I basked in the beauty of this woman.I put my arms around her and held her tightly to me. My erection was pressed into the fabric on the back of her panties and I could kurtköy escort feel her butt cheeks squeezing against me. I whispered into her ear, “You’re the kind of woman who could make a good man look forward to coming home every night.””Make love to me, Tom. Fill me up and make me cum,” she answered. I kissed her at the base of her neck while I brought my hands up to cup both of her bra-covered tits. I could feel her hardened nipples through the fabric of their enclosure. The thought that I would soon be sucking on those beautiful little boobs added to the stiffness of my zapper unit.”You’ve already got me harder than Chinese arithmetic,” I said in a quiet, desperate, longing voice.She immediately laughed, signaling that I had achieved the desired effect. I knew that she was nervous about what we were doing and I suspected a laugh would help ease some of her tension.As I massaged her cute little boobs through the silky fabric of her bra, I said, “Actually, you have me much harder than Chinese fucking arithmetic. You’re the sexiest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever held in my arms.”I released my hold on her and took a step back. I reached up and unfastened her bra but I left it in place.”If you’re nervous about this, you decide when to pull that bra down, but . . . I really, really don’t like big boobs and you’ve got me so excited that I can’t wait to have your nipples between my lips, so please don’t keep me waiting.”She turned to face me, holding her arms away from her body just long enough for the bra to fall away from her body. Her boobs were perfect. They were the size of small oranges, perfectly round, and standing up proud and firm, like the boobs on a teenage girl. Her areolae were small, about the size of a quarter, and a darker pink but certainly not brown. Her nipples looked like little pencil erasers and stood out only about a quarter of an inch. They were both quite hard.I stepped towards her to close the gap and wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her body towards mine and I felt the warmth of her flesh. I could feel her nipples against my chest and the wetness of her panties where they pressed against my leg.”I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you,” I said before our lips met in a passionate kiss. As I explored her mouth with my tongue, my right hand lightly stroked down her spine and then inside her panties until the tip of my middle finger was resting at the very top of her butt cleavage.”Are you an ass man?” she asked me in a quietly inquisitive voice, not as a challenge but to suggest that I could proceed if that was what I wanted. “I’m a Connie man. I want to see Connie’s boobs. I want to see Connie’s little pussy. And I want to see Connie’s cute little ass. I want to cum in you every way I can but, right now, I want to be on top of you, I want to be looking in your eyes, and I want to feel your arms around me when we cum together.”She had already turned down the comforter and sheets on her bed and we both knew it was time to lie down. She lay on the left side of the bed and I lay to her right. I was lying on my side, facing her, and I began playing with her right nipple. It was already hard and, as I manipulated her little nipple between my thumb and index finger, I could hear her very softly whimpering.I leaned over and brought my lips to her nipple. I began sucking on her nipple and rolling my tongue in circles around her areola. A few moments later, I put my right hand on her belly and began lowering it until I came to the top of her panties. I felt desperate to rip off her little panties and fuck her like a rabid dog, but I also wanted to make love with her and I wanted her to know that I needed love as much as I wanted sex.I allowed my fingers to move lower while not yet entering the confines of her panties. The gusset of her panties was soaked and I readily felt that her pussy lips were swollen with desire. I applied a gentle pressure with my fingers and began pressing up and down on her woman slit.”You’re so wet. I smell your pussy and it’s turning me into a sex a****l.””Pull my panties down,” she begged me. “I want you in me now!”I moved down in the bed so that I was between her legs, then I lay so that my face was just inches from her panty-clad pussy. I licked on the inside of her thigh right next to the elastic of her panties, first on one side and then on the other. “Oh, yeah!” she moaned.I reached in the gusset of her panties with my right index finger and pulled it to the side. I started licking at the bottom of her pussy lip and I licked upward but stopped short of her clit. Then I pulled her panties to the other side and licked on her other lip. “Soooo good!” she uttered.I reached up and grabbed her panties on both sides and pulled them down until her slit was just exposed. “So beautiful!” I exclaimed. “All mine!” I leaned forward and kissed her clit without using any exposed tongue to stimulate her.I raised up long enough to pull the panties down her legs and toss them to the side. At last, Connie was fully nude, in bed, wet and aroused, ready to be penetrated by my rock hard dick. But first, I leaned back down and started playing with her clit with the tip of my right index finger. “You’re teasing me so bad, you naughty boy. . .. But it feels so damned good!”Suddenly, I thrust my right middle finger into her pussy and started sucking on her clit as if my life depended on it. I allowed carnal desire to consume me and I knew I wouldn’t stop until I heard her cum.”Oh, shit . . . oh, holy fuck . . . oh, gawd, I’m so close . . ..” Suddenly, I felt her thighs squeezing against my head and her pelvis thrusting up away from the bed as if she could push her pussy inside my mouth. I saw her squeezing her nipples as she was undeniably in the throes of an orgasm. She was screaming some guttural sound that had no meaning other than extreme pleasure or extreme pain, and I would guess it was extreme pleasure.”Oh, stop! Too . . . too much,” she explained, and I brought my tongue back to rest in my mouth while I also removed my finger from her pussy.I climbed up on top of her, getting in position to penetrate the sweetest pussy I had ever tasted. “I had to do that ’cause I probably won’t last long once I’m inside you,” I said. As I finished the sentence, I pushed my dick forward so that the tip was resting between her pussy lips.Connie got a look on her face as if she was preparing to ask me a very intimate question but the words never left her lips because I moved forward and my dick slid between her pussy lips and into her wet vagina. I didn’t stop sliding forward until I had fully penetrated her love tunnel.”Gawd, you feel so good!” she said.”Good. I want to do this with you a lot. . . for a very long time,” I let her know.”Me, too,” she said. “Now fuck me hard. I’m on birth control pills so you can cum in me!”I began thrusting into her wet velvet sheath and she quickly became aroused again. I could feel her hard nipples rubbing against my chest and I felt like my dick was going to explode. She put her arms around my chest and pulled me down to her so we could kiss.Within a few seconds, I knew that my orgasm was imminent and I warned her. “I’m going to cum!””Oh, yeah, do it, baby,” she responded.Suddenly, I began squirting jets of cum into her tight little pussy. I continued thrusting as I moaned, “Oh, fuck, oh, fuck yeah. So tight . . . little girl!”Connie brought her feet up and hooked her ankles together so that her heels were against my ass cheeks. “Oh, gawd, that was good!” she exclaimed.”You’re either a witch or heroin. I’m under a spell or just plain addicted but I want a bunch more of that,” I said.”I never knew sex could feel so good,” Connie said.”That’s because it wasn’t sex,” I responded. “It was love.”We went to sleep with me lying on my back and Connie on her side, lying against me, with her head on my shoulder. The night with her had felt like magic. I wanted it to continue, and it did.Saturday, May 26, 2007Of course, when we woke up the next morning, we made love again. It was slow, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud with Connie’s moans, and before I finally came I needed it so bad that my dick almost hurt.Then we had breakfast, our “second date.” After breakfast, we made love again. You can probably guess where this story is going.* * *Over the next few months, we started dating every Friday and Saturday night. Connie’s ex-husband got Sally on alternating weekends, so I could only sleep over with Connie every other weekend. That’s unfortunate, because Connie had a voracious appetite for sex, apparently feeling the need to make up for lost time. What a lucky son of a bitch I was!Monday, July 23, 2007After a few weeks, Connie started coming by my office so we could share lunch. One day, after Connie and I had been dating for about six weeks, I came back from a lunch date with her. I had no appointments or hearings on the calendar and was prepared for a quiet afternoon.Doreen came into my office shortly after I returned from lunch. As usual, she was dressed in a short skirt and tight blouse which really accented her womanly features.”You and Ms. Easter certainly seem to be happy together,” she observed.”Ms. Doreen, you should just call her Connie – I’m not representing her anymore – and, yes, I’m quite happy with her. And I think she’s happy with me.””Well, obviously, you know she’s recently divorced, so . . . you might want to slow down just a bit, don’t you think?””Ms. Doreen, how are things at home?” I asked. It was sounding as if she was jealous of my obvious happiness and I suspected that she wouldn’t feel that way if she was really happy in her marriage.”Funny you should ask,” she said with some emphasis in her voice. “You know that Jim is an alcoholic and he’s been sober for six years now, right? Well, lately, I’m wondering if he’s fallen off the wagon.””What’s making you think that?” I asked.”Well, he used to go to AA meetings two or three times a week and now he’s not very interested in that anymore. He rarely talks to his sponsor and he’s coming home late with an excuse about working overtime but I’m not seeing any extra money in his paycheck.””Is there anything you think you can do about it?” I asked.”No, hell no,” she quickly answered. “If he wants to start drinking, there’s nothing I can do to stop him, but I hope to hell he hasn’t started again.””Well, if I was you, I’d tell him ‘I think maybe you started drinking again and if there’s anything I can do to help you with your demons, please let me know. But if you don’t reach out to me and the demons take you down, I’m not going down with you.’ Then, if you’re right and he goes back to being a drunk, you don’t need to look back with any regrets. You might ought to call his sponsor and tell him what you think. Anyway, that’s what I’d do.””You’re right. I thought all that was in the past, but . . ..” She started crying and it was a painful cry. It was the cry of a woman who has hidden her hurt for years until it all comes crashing down at once.I got out of my chair and walked around to her. She stood and I hugged her, allowing her to cry on my shoulder until the tears stopped . . . at least for now.”Ms. Doreen, if there’s anything I can do . . .,” I offered.”Thanks, Tom. . . . Connie’s a very lucky lady . . . and, yeah, I’m a little bit jealous that she’s got such a wonderful guy who knows how to treat her right and I’m stuck with an asshole of a husband.” As soon as she said that, she walked out of my office and returned to her desk in the outer office. I thought she might be feeling embarrassed about revealing any feelings about me, so I minimized my need to talk to her the remainder of the day. I must admit that, even though I was very happy with Connie, I was flattered to know that Doreen felt some jealousy. I realize that such an admission is not very flattering to me, but it’s the truth. It’s just a stupid ego thing, but sometimes even smart people do stupid things.Wednesday, August 15, 2007″Hey, can you meet me for dinner tonight?” Connie had called me at work mid-afternoon. “I’ve got some news to tell you, nothing to worry about, but news that affects us,” she explained.”Okay, uh . . . are we good?” I asked a bit nervously.”I’m the happiest woman on the planet,” she said. “Don’t worry, just meet me tonight and I’ll explain. Oh, and Sally’s spending the night with her dad, so you can spend the night if you want.””You know I want,” I immediately replied. “How about 6:30 at the Bonefish?””See you then,” she promised.* * *”I had lunch with John today. He called and said he had something to tell me, so we met for lunch. It appears that Dr. Slut had higher aspirations and she’s started boning one of the senior partners in the practice. Anyway, I guess the senior partner doesn’t want any competition around, so John’s been told that he’s not going to have a future there and he needs to find another job soon. Apparently, the word got out and you know what a small town this is, so nobody else in Gainesville wants to offer him a job. John says it’s either start his own practice or move somewhere else.””Wow! I guess you feel like he’s kind of getting a dose of his own medicine,” I said. I anticipated that Connie, like every other married person who has been the victim of infidelity, wanted her villain to be wounded by the same sword.”Wait, there’s more!” Connie said, imitating the stupid infomercials that we both despised. “Yesterday, he was offered a position in Birmingham and he’s decided to take it. That means that Sally isn’t going to see her dad as much anymore and we won’t have every other weekend to ourselves for that wild a****l sex or that tender passionate love that you are soooo good at.””What do you want to do about it?” I asked.”What can we do? Can we force him to take Sally every other weekend?””No, you can’t force him to take Sally at all, but we can change his visitation schedule so he gets most of every summer vacation. As far as the weekends go, I know that becoming celibate is not the answer. I’m way too addicted to your sinfully delicious naked body to have it taken away. We’ll find a way.”Connie had an option to work a four day work week for the board of county commissioners. I adjusted my schedule so that I could take off most Friday afternoons. We wouldn’t be spending nights together but we would have time for physical intimacy.John explained to Sally, as best he could, why he was moving to Birmingham. As Sally explained to us later, when John had finished his explanation, she turned to him and asked, “Does this have anything to do with Laurie breaking up with you and dating your boss?”Sally was just 13 years old but very bright, very perceptive, and not inclined to let anyone get away with telling her a fib. John tried to recover by making up more details for his cover story but Sally concluded by telling him, “Dad, you really messed up when you left Mom. Don’t you know nobody’s as good as her?”Friday, October 5, 2007By 3:00 pm, I had gone to Connie’s house and found her naked in her bedroom, waiting for me. She got on top of me and we engaged in mutual oral sex a la 69. While licking on her sweet clit, I had started fingering with her cute little backdoor. She appeared to be getting turned on by the anal attention and my suspicion was confirmed when she took my pecker out of her mouth long enough to ask, “Do you want to fuck me back there?”It didn’t take long to accept that offer and a bit of K-Y had me ready to slide in the back door. We had enjoyed anal sex a few times already and each time felt like it was ‘over the top’ when her ass started squeezing my dick and milking all the cum from my tool. Today, she was on her belly as I made my final thrusts into her cute little ass. We had both “passed out” for a couple of minutes when we heard noise downstairs.We looked at the clock and then at each other and we both knew. “Sally!” we both said simultaneously.We scrambled to get dressed in a hurry and then get downstairs before Sally came upstairs looking for Connie. We were going down the stairs as Sally came around the corner and spotted us.”Hi, Mom. Hi, Tom.””Hi, cutie,” I said.”Hey, we were just upstairs and Tom was helping me move some boxes in my bedroom. How was school?” Connie explained and asked, hoping to change the topic of conversation.”School was fine and I’m not that dumb, Mom. I’m going over to Cindy’s house for a while. What’s for dinner?””You want to go out for pizza,” I asked?”Sure,” Sally replied, and then walked past us to go to her bedroom.So much for sneaking around and keeping secrets,” Connie said quietly. “I don’t know whether to feel embarrassed or relieved.””Well, I don’t know if that little bit of information changes how you want to handle things with Sally, but she’s your daughter, so you call the shots and I’ll follow along with whatever you say.”* * *We went out for pizza that night and Sally and Connie were talking about their plans for the weekend.”Tom’s coming over tomorrow morning and we’re going out on his boat,” Connie said. “Unless you’ve got something else planned, you can come with us. It’ll be fun!””Sure, but . . . wouldn’t it just be easier if Tom spent the night?” Sally asked. “He wouldn’t have to get up so early tomorrow morning.”Connie looked stunned. I probably looked like I had just won the lottery.”Hey, that’s a great idea. I wish I had thought of that!” I said.Sally gave me a look that said ‘don’t try to play that dumb routine on me.’ “What do you think, Connie?” I asked.”Well, Sally, if it doesn’t bother you, it sounds like a great plan,” Connie answered.After that conversation, I started spending every Friday and Saturday night at Connie’s house. We started doing more things together like a family, and Sally got even more relaxed around me.Once, she slipped up and called me “Daddy” without even realizing that she had done so. Connie heard it and looked at me with a twinkle in her eye. I was happy – very happy. Monday, December 24, 2007Sally was with us until Christmas Eve. At 1:30 that afternoon, we put her on a plane to go to her dad in Birmingham. That gave Connie and me the next week alone. We went to a midnight church service on Christmas Eve and then returned to Connie’s home. We made love and then fell asleep, as always, spooned together with my arms around her. I felt very contented and I was at peace with the world. It was one of the best Christmas Eves of my life.Tuesday, December 25, 2007I was not in bed when Connie awoke the next morning. Since it was just the two of us at home, she pulled on a very sheer gown which did little to hide her naked beauty and she came and found me by the Christmas tree downstairs.I was sitting on the sofa and I motioned for Connie to sit beside me. “There’s something I need to tell you,” I said.”Is it good or bad, ’cause this is lousy timing for bad stuff,” she warned me.”I’m the happiest man on the planet,” I explained, “and there’s nothing bad between me and you.””Good. I was worried for a minute.””While Sally isn’t here, I wanted to talk to you about our relationship and where it’s headed. First, you need to know and really trust me when I say I have never been happier in my entire life. I love you in a way that I never knew existed and I look forward to every minute that we spend together.””We’ve been dating for seven months now and it’s been the best seven months of my life. If you had already been divorced for a few years, I probably would have proposed to you already. There isn’t anything wrong between us at all . . . but I’m still concerned about being your first relationship after your divorce. Who knows? Maybe, later on, you’ll regret that you didn’t get out there and date more guys, and . . ..”Connie tried to interrupt me. “I know what I . . ..” The tip of my index finger came to her lips as I used my kind and gentle voice to say, “Let me finish and then you can say whatever you want but, please, let me finish. Now . . . I’m also concerned about Sally and how this affects her. I’m very fond of her and I can see that she’s very fond of me. She’s probably feeling like her dad abandoned her by leaving you and her and then by moving to Birmingham and she doesn’t need to have another guy do something that feels like abandonment, but . . . we’ve gone way too far to back away from things, now.””I’ve got some general rules for how to handle different situations and my general rule is that no one should get remarried for at least two years after a divorce, and there aren’t many exceptions to that rule.””Yeah, I know, but . . .,” again she attempted to interject and, again, my index finger moved to silence her lips.I paused for a minute with a quizzical look on my face, as if I had lost my focus. “Oh, yes, but every rule does have some exceptions. Connie, dear, I love you dearly and I can’t think of having a future that doesn’t include you.” I got off of the sofa and knelt on one knee in front of her.As I looked up at her angelic face, I could see tears starting to form. “Connie, you are my sunrise and my sunset. You are the light that brightens every minute of my day. You know all of my crazy habits and idiosyncrasies and you still love me. I don’t know why you love me but I know that you do. I want you by my side for the rest of our lives. Will you be my wife?”As I asked the question, I reached into my pocket and retrieved the engagement ring I had purchased a week earlier, with the advice and consent of Doreen.”Tom, I love you, I respect you, and I really, really like you. You’re a wonderful companion for me and I know you’ll be a wonderful step-father to Sally. If we have any c***dren, I know you’ll be a great father to them. I want you with all of my heart, now and forever, so . . . yes, I’ll marry you!” She held her left hand out and I slid the engagement ring onto her fourth finger. She stared at the ring for a few seconds and then she started crying. “I don’t think I deserve you but I’ll do anything I can to make you happy.”I took her into my arms and comforted her. “Actually, I don’t think I deserve you but if you’re crazy enough to say ‘yes,’ then I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.”She looked up at me and said, “You’re perfect!””That’s nice of you to say but, no, neither one of us is perfect,” I suggested and paused, then added, “but I do think that we’re perfect for each other.”I’m sure we would have stayed in bed most of the day but we had already promised my parents that we would drive over to Panama City and have Christmas dinner with them. Mom, Dad, and Connie had not yet met, so of course Connie was nervous about the dinner, but she had nothing to be nervous about. My parents loved her and they were excited about our engagement.Sunday, December 30, 2007We didn’t tell anyone else about the engagement until Sally came back after the holidays; we didn’t want her to feel left out of the news and celebrations. When she did return, Connie told Sally and “our” little girl was happy.”Good, because now I’ll have two daddies,” she explained. “And the first one isn’t working out so well, so it’s good to have a backup.””Honey, why do you say that?” Connie asked. John had been a lousy husband to her but, considering the circumstances, he had always tried to be a good father to Sally.”Daddy has a new girlfriend who looks a whole lot like you, Mom, but she’s not you and she’s a jerk. I don’t think she likes me. That’s okay, because I don’t like her, either.””You like Tom, don’t you?” Connie asked to hear some reassurance.”We just studied this in school Mom, and Tom is what you old folks call ‘the bee’s knees.'”Connie laughed. “I’m not that old, honey. That’s what people said a hundred years ago . . . but I am glad that you like Tom.”We all went out to dinner that night to celebrate and we let Sally pick out the restaurant. Of course, she wanted pizza, so we went to the best pizza place in town.At dinner, Sally started asking questions. When are you getting married? Where? Where are you going for your honeymoon? Are you going to move in with us before the wedding? We let her know that we had not started making any plans and that she would be included in all of the major decisions. At least – as Connie and I had decided – we would include Sally in the discussions.Monday, December 31, 2007The next day, I went in to the office for a few hours but I had already told Doreen that we would close at noontime. That morning, Doreen asked me if we had told Sally, and I told her all about the conversation and Sally’s one hundred questions.”So I guess it’s official, huh? You know how some people say that one person comes into this world when another one leaves? Maybe it’s that way with marriages, too,” Doreen said, obviously inviting me to inquire.”If you’ve got news to tell me, go ahead and tell me.””Well, before Christmas, Jim was acting like he wasn’t very happy and then, Christmas Day, he left the house and he told me he was going to the d**g store and he’d be back in a few minutes. I didn’t see him for three days and when he showed up Tuesday, he was obviously drunk. I asked him how he expected me to put up with his behavior and he said that I didn’t have to put up with it at all because he wanted a divorce. He packed a suitcase – actually, he was too drunk, so I packed it for him – and I haven’t seen him since then.””Holy shit, Doreen!” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?””I didn’t want to rain on your parade. You looked as happy as a pig in slop and I didn’t want to do anything to break the mood for you . . . besides, there’s nothing to say or do that’ll make it any better, other than just going ahead and filing for divorce.””Well, if you want to file, you know I’ll take care of it for you, no charge, absolutely. I’m so sorry! You deserve much better than what you’ve had so far.””Thanks, Tom,” Doreen uttered in a lifeless voice.Saturday, February 9, 2008We had selected Saturday, May 24 for the wedding. This was one week before Sally would go to Birmingham for the summer and we would spend the week after the wedding at home before we went on our honeymoon. That isn’t the usual order of things but, once again, we wanted Sally to feel included in everything. In particular, we didn’t want to get married and then have Sally gone almost three months before she came back and rejoined our family.This weekend, Connie was deep in the midst of wedding planning and she was being careful to include Sally in all of the plans. Of course, Sally didn’t get to make any decisions by herself and if she suggested something c***dish or inappropriate – which rarely happened – Connie would spend time convincing her to change her mind rather than simply castigating her for her choices.We spent the day with Connie and Sally dragging me from one store to another; I knew that I was only along to pay for things. My ears did perk up when I heard Connie and Sally talking about Sally spending the night with one of her friends.As soon as we were alone, I asked, “Do I understand correctly that Sally won’t be at home tonight to chaperone us?””That’s right,” Connie replied. “You know what that means, don’t you? Skinny dipping in the hot tub and making love in front of the fireplace!””Just thinking about it is making my pants fit tight. When’s she shipping out?””She’s going over to Karen’s house about 4 o’clock. Can you wait that long?” Connie teased me.”No! Pull your pants down right now,” I pretended to insist. I looked around and saw that no one was looking at us, so I reached down and grabbed Connie’s ass and gave it a little squeeze.”Oh, you bad boy!” Connie mockingly scolded me.”You love it when I act like a bad boy,” I responded, “and I hope that you’ll be bad tonight, too!””You just wait and see,” she laughed.At 8 pm, it was dark out and Connie and I were in her hot tub with a couple of rum and cokes already in our bellies and a few more waiting their turn on the edge of the hot tub. We were both naked and I suspected that we’d start making out before long.”You said something this afternoon that I want to ask you about,” Connie said.”I hope I’m not in trouble,” I meekly responded. “I had great plans for the rest of the evening.””Oh, no, you’re not in trouble. Well, first, I’ve been reading some things about how to have a good marriage and . . ..””And you’re worried that the same thing will happen this time because something’s wrong with you. Am I close?” I asked.”Tom, you’re always right, to some extent, but I need you to listen to me. Honey, I want to make sure that we both do everything that we can to make our marriage as successful as possible. Now, earlier today, you said you wanted me to be a bad girl tonight, and I started wondering whether I’m doing everything I can to keep you happy in bed. You know, I was raised to be a kind of prim and proper Southern girl but I’ve tried to cut loose and be uninhibited in bed. But . . . maybe I’m not doing enough so I need to ask: Is there anything that we haven’t done sexually that you want to do, or is there anything we’re doing that you don’t want to do?””Wow, I wasn’t expecting that question. First, the easier part is the second question. We haven’t done anything that didn’t feel good to me and I don’t want to stop doing anything that we’ve already done. As far as other things I might like to do, well . . . there are a few things that we haven’t done that I’d like to try, but I don’t want to do anything that you don’t also want to do,” I said and then hesitated, giving her a chance to respond. I didn’t need to wait very long.”Like what?” she asked.”You know, the hard part about telling you these things is not knowing whether you’ll say ‘sure, let’s try that’ or ‘are you fucking crazy?'””Okay, I have an idea. Let’s take turns telling each other about the fantasies that we would actually like to try, and I’ll go first. Tom, I’d like to watch you make yourself cum, you know, masturbate, jerk off, whatever you want to call it. I have always wanted to see a guy do that,” Connie confessed. “Wow, I was going to say the same thing!” I said.”You mean you fantasized about me watching you beat your meat?” Connie teased me.”No, I want to watch you make yourself cum . . . with just your fingers . . . and another time, with a vibrator. Okay, your turn.””Okay. Uh . . . I know that you kind of enjoy anal play and, sometimes, it sounds really kinky to say some of that stuff out loud, but . . . I want you to use a small vibrator in my ass while you have your dick in my pussy, you know, that double penetration thing, except that I don’t want any guy except you. . . . Next!”I would have never guessed that Connie wanted a double penetration experience so maybe this conversation was going to take us in a good direction. “Well, we’ve had anal sex a few times, and I guess you like it or you wouldn’t cum when we do it, so I guess you might understand that it might feel good for you to play with my ass sometimes.””Okay, like how? I mean, what exactly would you like me to try?””Well, when you’re doing oral sex on me, it might feel good to have you put your finger inside me, you know, with some lube on it. Like, sometimes . . . guys jokingly call it ‘prostate massage.'””Okay . . . I never would have guessed that but . . . I can give it a try,” Connie responded.”Does that sound like a gross thing to do,” I asked. “I don’t want to weird you out and, you know, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.””Well, it’s certainly not anything my mother ever explained to me but, you know, it’s all a matter of how you were raised. It sounds kind of kinky and I never would have guessed it but, if you like it, I want to be the one to do it for you. Who knows, I might like doing it to you.””There’s another thing like that but, instead of telling you, I want to show you,” I said. Actually, I wanted to do it to her as much as I wanted to have her do it to me. I moved over so that I was on my knees directly in front of her. “I’m going to start out like this,” I said as I placed my right hand between her legs and started playing with Ms. Clitty while I teased her nipples with my other hand.”I like this so far,” she said. “Ummm, yeah, that feels nice, right there.””Now, lift up a little,” I requested. She pushed her torso up a few inches and I lowered my right hand until my middle finger could reach her butt hole. I started stroking on either side of her little pucker without making any motion towards ground zero.Since she had lifted up, her nipples were now above water and I lowered my mouth and started sucking on one of her beautiful breasts. “I can’t get enough of these beautiful boobs,” I said. Her nipples were hard and I could tell that she was starting to get aroused. That’s when I went for ground zero. I moved the tip of my finger to the middle of her little anus and applied just enough pressure for her to feel it without actually penetrating her.She started moving up and down as if she wanted to impale her cute little behind on my finger. It was so hot that I started moaning and she wasn’t even touching me . . . yet.”Now, stand up and bend over and hold on to the side of the hot tub,” I instructed her.”This feels too good, I don’t want to stop,” she complained.”Trust me. Now, stand up,” I repeated.She stood and turned around, then bent over. The sight of her cute little ass always got me going. I’m sure I would have had fun putting my dick in her heiney hole but I had other plans for tonight.”Spread your legs a little,” I asked.As soon as she did that, I knelt behind her and started licking her clit and up her slit. When I got to the bottom of her pussy, I kept going and d**g my tongue over her little pink star.She flinched. “Wasn’t expecting that,” she said, and then she relaxed, “but . . . do that again!” she insisted.I again started licking on her clit and then slowly moved my tongue down her lips and continued on to her tiny little rosebud. This time, I started licking in circles around her back door and I reached up and inserted my index and middle finger in her dripping wet love tunnel. As I finger fucked her pussy, I started trying to thrust my tongue into her ass and the sensations drove her wild.”Oh, fuck me, oh shit! Don’t stop!” she begged. I had no intention of stopping. She was thrusting her ass into my face and her pussy on my fingers and it didn’t take much for her to go over the edge.I felt the spasms in her pussy clamping down on my fingers while she clenched her butt cheeks.”Oh fuckety fuck!” she exclaimed as she tried to catch her breath.As her orgasm subsided, I pulled my fingers from her snatch and I stood up, placing the tip of my dick against her pucker, again without any intentions of penetrating her and, of course, we didn’t have any K-Y in the hot tub.”Stand up,” I said, and she straightened and stood up, bringing her back against my chest. I reached around her and fondled her breasts. “You are so beautiful . . . and I love making you cum so hard.””That was at least a 10,” she said. “So . . . that’s what you want me to do to you?””Yeah, except that you can give me a hand job instead of finger fucking my pussy.””Holy shit, I never even thought about somebody doing that to me . . .””Well, it’s not something I’d do every day, but . . . you know, the idea of licking on your partner’s butt hole might sound gross if, you know, they weren’t clean, but I don’t know anybody who’s more careful about her hygiene than you and, we’re in the hot tub and I was playing with your behind earlier, so I knew you were clean, and . . . well, you’re always like, impeccably clean anyway, but . . . you don’t know how something will make you feel until you try it but . . . I thought you might get off on that, and . . . it’s not gross if it brings you that much pleasure.””Okay, so it’s your turn to tell me what you want us to do that we haven’t already done,” I reminded her.”If we do what we’ve already talked about, my happy cup will be overflowing,” she responded, “but, the question is: will you be happy?””Connie, I am infinitely happy with you. You are the best person I’ve ever known, you’re a terrific friend and companion, and when we get between the sheets – or in the hot tub – you send me to the moon.” I knew she had her insecurities and I kept looking for the right words to try to make her feel more secure in our relationship.”Will you make yourself cum now?” she asked. I nodded my head affirmatively and she added, “Sit on the side of the tub so I can see everything.””Okay,” I replied, “but this isn’t like the only time that I’ll ever do this for you, you know. All you’ve got to do is ask.”I sat on the side of the hot tub and placed my fingers around my dick. I started stroking and soon got into the rhythm that always works. I scooted forward slightly, so that my balls were hanging over the edge, and I reached down with my other hand to cradle and fondle them.When I did that, I guess it had the effect of at least partially blocking her view of the action, so she moved closer, and she was almost touching me. “I don’t want to miss anything,” she explained. “Do you want me to cum on you?” I asked.”Not my face,” she quickly responded. I assumed that she was not interested in receiving a facial and, frankly, I had never had a desire to do that to a woman. I don’t want to sound like some holier-than-thou, I’m-so-sensitive kind of metrosexual asshole, but the idea of cumming on a woman’s face just seems so rude and stupid and Neanderthal. I couldn’t get aroused by that in a million years.”I want to cum on your boobs,” I said.”Tell me when you’re getting ready to cum,” she requested.As I continued stroking, it felt so nasty to be doing this with someone watching. That just made it hotter. Then I got a visual image of Connie’s ass when I was licking her and that was all it took. I felt my cum starting to rush forward, looking for release. “I’m going to cum!” I quickly said.Connie lifted up and placed her left nipple on the tip of my dick and she started moving her nipple in tiny circles around my little head. When I began spewing my sperm on her, it felt as if I had pushed a golf ball through a garden hose. The feeling of satisfaction and relief was indescribable.”Cum on my boob!” she demanded. “Keep cumming on me!”As my spurtations began to subside, I saw my cum starting to run down the slope of her beautiful, firm, young-girl titty. Its escape was blocked when Connie raised her hand and began rubbing my cum all across her boob. Her nipple looked so hard, so erect.”Damn that felt good,” I said. “So dirty . . . so hot.””Let’s get in bed for the last round in tonight’s sexual Olympics,” Connie suggested.We closed up the hot tub and went inside, secured the house for the night, and then retreated to her bedroom.Connie retrieved a slender vibrator and a bottle of K-Y from her bedside stand. I looked at her as if to ask, ‘what kind of plans do you have for that?'”When you were licking on me, uh . . . back there, it got me so fucking hot, it made me want to go ahead and try the double penetration thing, if you’re up for it,” she explained.”Sure. I’ve never done that and it sounds like it’d be hot. How do you want to do it?” I asked.”Arf, arf, arf,” she barked. “You know what that means, right?””I know that you really like doggy style sex, so, I’m guessing arf, arf, arf . . ..”Connie got on the bed and got up on her knees and then lowered her shoulders to the bed to that her butt was raised up and pointed back at me. I had a spectacular view of little anus and, as soon as I saw it, I wanted to stick my dick in it. But . . . that wasn’t going to happen tonight.”Put a lot of lube on the vibrator,” she requested.”You want it turned on or just in you?” I asked.Why don’t we start out with it turned on,” Connie clarified what she wanted.”Okay, I’m going to put the vibrator in you first,” I told her.I coated the vibrator in K-Y and also poured some K-Y at the entrance to Connie’s most forbidden recess, and then I turned the vibrator on. As soon as I placed the tip of it against her anus, she started whimpering.”I’ve never had a vibrator back there, so go slow,” she asked me.I held the vibrator in place without pushing it into her but, soon, she was thrusting back against it. When the vibrator made its way past her sphincter, she paused and said, “Oh, fuck yeah!””You’re such a dirty girl,” I said. “I’m going to get fucked in your pussy and your ass.””Do it,” she pleaded, and I immediately started sliding the vibrator inside her. I could see her little bum hole having spasms as it got penetrated by the plastic instrument of pleasure and she started moving her ass in small up and down motions.”Put your dick in me now!” she insisted, and I was happy to oblige.I placed the tip of my meat at the entrance to her sweet pussy and felt absolutely no resistance as I slid in until my balls were swinging against her body. My lower abdomen was pushing against the back end of the vibrator and I did not need to keep a hand on the plastic toy to keep it in place. As I began to pull my dick back, the muscles in her ass tried to push the vibrator out, but my lower belly only allowed it to back out slightly.As I began to push in to her vagina again, my belly also pushed the vibrator back into her ass. I could feel the vibrations of the toy against my dick and I knew the combined effect of being in Connie’s pussy, looking at her ass, and feeling the vibrator would soon have me cumming.”I feel so full!” she said. “Can you feel the vibrator?””Oh yeah! I’m not going to last long!” I responded.”I’m close!” Connie screamed. “Fuck my ass . . . fuck my pussy . . . just fuck me hard!”I leaned forward so that I could reach under Connie and grab her tits. This pulled my torso closer to hers and I could keep thrusting my hips to fuck her pussy but her ass and the vibrator were trapped against my lower belly, almost completely buried in her cute little behind. I began playing with her nipples and that was enough for her to plunge into the abyss of sexual delight.Her chest began heaving up and then down, her breathing was rapid, and I could feel the walls of her pussy grabbing my dick in pulsating spasms. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming,” she moaned.Again, I felt my cum explode inside me and rush towards the tip of my dick in a sensation that was exquisitely pleasant and painful at the same time. I began to pump my cum into her sweet little teen girl pussy and I straightened up so that I could make my final thrusts strong and hard. As I rammed my dick into her love canal, my belly pushed the vibrator back into her ass.”Oh, fuck me!” she moaned. “Soooo good! But . . . you’ve got to stop. I can’t take any more!”She began to fall forward and my dick popped out as our bodies separated. She fell flat on her tummy and I could see the back end of the vibrator visible between her ass cheeks.”Pull it out slow,” she requested and I carefully complied.She rolled over on her side and I lay on my side, facing her.”I was always told that only sluts and whores do those kind of things, because they’re so . . . fucking nasty and dirty. I couldn’t tell my mother, not even my sister, about this stuff, not in a million years. But . . . holy shit, that felt good!””Nobody who knows you would call you a slut or a whore, not in a million years, but, yeah . . . I don’t think I’ll be telling my mom about anal sex, either!” I joked with her. “But . . . I’ve never ever cum so much, so hard, so many ways. You satisfy me so absolutely, so completely. I want you forever . . . not just for the sex . . . but’s that’s part of it!” I said.”Don’t you wake up in the middle of the night and start trying to fool around with me,” Connie warned. “I’m so sore I don’t think I’ll be able to have sex again for a week.”We went to sleep with my arms around Connie. As we were drifting off to sleep, I told her how much I loved her. She said she loved me and she loved the way I made her feel like a complete woman. I was happy, as happy as a man can be.Saturday, May 17, 2008I had already moved all of my possessions into Connie’s home. We both thought that it was best for Sally to stay in the same house, so I sold my house, got rid of some furniture, put a few things into long-term storage, and moved the rest to Connie’s house.We had been through the usual rites of passage. We had enjoyed an engagement party and Connie had her bridal shower. Some of the guys wanted to take me out for a bachelor party and I agreed to it on two conditions. One, it would need to be at least one week before the wedding, because I didn’t want to be hung over when I got married. Two, we could go to a topless or nude bar but I had no intentions of having sex with anyone other than Connie. Frankly, even if I was willing to be unfaithful to her – which I was not – I don’t see how any girl could ever be better in bed than Connie.Connie’s girlfriends took her to a male strip club the same night as my bachelor party. We were both back home by 1 AM. I’ll admit that seeing those little 18 and 19 year old teenie girls take their clothes off, shaking their pussies and asses around, and dancing like horny little sluts had gotten me worked up. I guess the visit to the male strip club had the same effect on Connie.She had gotten home just a few minutes before me, but she was in bed waiting for me.”Are you too tired?” she asked.”Too tired for what?” I asked, though I suspected I already knew the answer to that question.”I don’t need a lot of foreplay but I need you inside me,” she explained.Connie had loosened up a bit over the year we had been dating. She was eager to please and she had learned to ask for what she needed. She had shed many of her inhibitions and she was all I needed.”When I was at that strip club, seeing all those naked guys, all I thought about was getting home and having you inside me. I need you so fucking bad, if your friends had brought you home dead, I would have fucked your corpse. Now get over here and give me a good, hard fucking.”I got in bed and she immediately bent down and started sucking on my dick to get me hard. It didn’t take long and I was good to go. As I entered her, I said, “There are so many things I love about you, and this is definitely one of them.”I came in her pussy twice and then we came in each other’s mouths, and then we fell asleep. Who could want more?Saturday, May 24, 2008The big day had arrived. We had been through the rehearsal the previous night, then we had the rehearsal dinner, then we came home and fell asleep in each other’s arms. We didn’t have sex the night before the wedding. We didn’t need to have sex to know that we both loved each other.The wedding was fairly elaborate for a second wedding: three bridesmaids, three groomsmen, tuxedos, reception with a dinner and dance, live band, open bar, limousine. Sally was a big part of the wedding and she looked like she was very happy. She wasn’t looking forward to going to Birmingham to spend the summer with her dad but at least she had the next week with us.Even though we were waiting a week to go on our honeymoon, Sally volunteered to spend the night with a friend so that we would have some privacy at home on our wedding night. Sometimes, I wondered how much Sally really understood about adult relationships; on occasions, her comments or her behavior suggested that she was much more sophisticated than the average 14 year old girl.When the limousine returned us to our home, Connie and I quickly got out of our wedding attire.Standing there in just my boxers – with an obvious tent in the front – I asked, “Is there anything else special that you want to do tonight before we go to bed?” I thought maybe she would want to get in the hot tub or go skinny dipping in the pool.”No, it’s been such a long day, and it was all fun, but I’m exhausted. Let’s just go to bed,” she suggested.”Okay,” I responded. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to say that she was too tired to even have sex on her wedding night.Apparently, she saw a look on my face that telegraphed some concern. “Hey,” she got my attention, “I said I’m exhausted but I didn’t say I’m dead. We’ve got a marriage to consummate!”She quickly slipped out of her panties and bra and she came to me, placed her arms around me, and hugged me tightly against her naked body. “You’ve made me the happiest woman in the world, Mr. Darnell!””And you’ve made me the happiest man in the world, Mrs. Darnell!” I replied.After a few moments of passionate kissing, we got in bed and I was already as hard as a rock.”I want you on top of me,” she said. “And I want to remind you that I stopped taking the birth control last week, just like we discussed. But I’m not going to conceive tonight.”I got on top and I entered her. I looked into her eyes and she was looking back at me. “You make me complete,” she said.”And I can’t think of life without you. I’m so glad you said yes,” I said.”And I’m so glad you asked,” she responded.It wasn’t the most erotic sex or the most explosive orgasms that we’ve ever had, but it was the strongest that I have ever felt love, and I know she felt the same way.As usual, we fell asleep spooned together with my arms around her. I felt like I had won the biggest prize of my entire life.Sunday, May 25, 2008I woke up first and I looked over at my beautiful bride. “Good morning, Mrs. Darnell,” I whispered in her ear.Apparently, she was already half awake but she quickly responded, “Good morning, dear husband. Is there anything you’d like to do this morning before Sally comes back home?”That wasn’t really a question. It was Connie’s way of telling me what she wanted, and I was happy to oblige. We made love again and it wasn’t wild sex but it was very passionate love. I just couldn’t get enough of feeling Connie’s naked body against mine.We finally got up and took a shower – together – which led to more sex, and then we went downstairs and had a cup of coffee. I suggested that we call Sally and see if she had already eaten breakfast and, if not, we could go pick her up and then go have pancakes somewhere.Sally was happy to hear from us and delighted that we wanted to take her out for breakfast. She wasn’t my daughter – we both knew that – and we made no pretense otherwise, but we were already becoming one very happy family.The following week, Connie took time off from her job, as she had a tremendous amount of accumulated leave and the board of commissioners was not meeting for the next two weeks. I came home from work early every day and we focused on family oriented activities because Sally would soon leave for the summer and we wanted to get a good start on establishing patterns of a cohesive family unit. We also knew that we would have almost the entire summer to spend by ourselves, skinny dipping in the pool and soaking naked in the hot tub, having sex in every room of the house, and generally acting like unrepentant sex addicts.Saturday, May 31, 2008We drove Sally to the airport and said goodbye, knowing that we would not see her for the next two months. I actually felt sad to see her go. Of course I was looking forward to a honeymoon followed by at least two months of uninterrupted connubial bliss and sexual indulgence. Hell, I was planning on having so much sex that I might not even survive the summer.But . . . I had become very fond of little Sally. She was like her mother in so many ways, a mini-Connie, with a sweet personality, a sharp mind and quick wit, and true compassion for others. I had come to love her as a father loves a daughter. I knew she did not want to go to Birmingham for the summer and I felt badly for her, but she did need to spend time with her dad and perhaps the time together would help her to begin the process of healing the wounds that had been inflicted.I think Connie knew she would actually feel a little guilty if we went home and immediately had sex, as if she was celebrating Sally’s departure, so instead, she went shopping. My credit card and I tagged along . . . but I’m not complaining. Connie had kept her job with the county commissioners and actually did fairly well on her own because of her seniority, and . . . she was not one of those women who spent money all day without regard to the grand total.Our last stop was the grocery store, where we got a couple of nice steaks to cook on the grill, together with some asparagus and corn on the cob. We enjoyed fixing our meals together and we were one of those rare couples who actually worked well together in the kitchen. Of course, we started on a pitcher of margaritas before dinner and we were both feeling rather buzzed by the time we were finished cleaning and putting everything away.We decided to go skinny dipping and were soon frolicking in the warm water of the pool. With the privacy fence, we had absolutely no concern over any neighbors or prying eyes, so we were as uninhibited in the pool as we would be in bed.I would seize any opportunity to play with her little boobs. I was very careful to not call them “little,” because I knew it was a sensitive matter for her, but they were little. It really didn’t matter to me that they were little; in fact, I liked her little boobs and I would not want them to be any bigger if I was given the choice. Her boobs stood straight out from her chest with no visible sag whatsoever. Her nipples were very sensitive and minimal stimulation would cause them to get hard. When I sucked on her nipples, she would start moaning like she was close to an orgasm, and just hearing her moan like that made my dick get hard. I loved fondling her boobs and playing with her nipples, I loved sucking on her boobs, and I just enjoyed looking at them. I’m not a “boob man,” but I loved her boobs, and I told her.”Just looking at your boobs make me so damn hard and horny. I sure hope you’re going to finish what you’ve started,” I warned her.”You mean you want to have sex, Mr. Darnell? Is that why you’ve made such an effort to get me drunk?” she teased me. “Would you care to elaborate on what you have planned for my naked body?”I stood behind her and pulled her naked backside against me. I used my left hand to keep massaging her beautiful boobs while my right hand dipped lower and started gently massaging her clit.”I want to cum inside you, my beautiful wife. I don’t care if I cum in your mouth, your pussy, or your ass, but I definitely need to cum inside you, but first . . . I want to watch you make yourself cum.” It was one of the fantasies we had talked about. “And are you going to allow me to watch you do the same thing tonight?” she asked.”If you really, really want that, I’ll do it tonight . . . but, you’ve seen that before and I’d rather save it for a few weeks from now when Aunt Flo comes to visit.” Connie was so fastidious about her personal hygiene that we never had vaginal sex when she was having, or even expecting, her monthly visitor. She would give me blow jobs, or hand jobs, but no vaginal sex and no anal sex (too close to ground zero, she explained.)”Okay. You want me to do it here or in bed?” she asked.”Oh, I’d much rather have you do that in bed so I can see what you’re doing,” I explained. “I intend to have the best seat in the house for this show.”We got out of the pool and dried off, then went inside. When we got to the bedroom, Connie turned to me and asked, “Fingers or a toy?””Both,” I answered. I have always thought that the best way to learn how to give a woman an orgasm is to watch her give herself an orgasm. Who should be more of an expert on that subject than the woman herself?Connie reached into the nightstand on her side of the bed and pulled out a modestly sized vibrator and a bottle of K-Y. “Sometimes . . . well, not anymore, because you keep me satisfied, but back when I had a need for this . . . I’d start with my fingers and then use the vibrator after I got worked up, so . . ..”Connie tossed her towel to the floor and pulled the sheets down. She got in the middle of the bed and got settled into a comfortable position lying on her back. She placed her hands on her boobs and started playing with her nipples. “I always start out with my boobs,” she explained. I assumed that she talking to discharge a little nervous energy and that the running commentary would subside as she became more aroused.”I start getting wet when my nipples get hard. Then I reach down to play with Miss Kitty, like this,” she said as she moved her right hand down to her pussy. She extended her middle finger, in the same way that she would if she was giving someone the finger (which she never did,) and started lightly rubbing up and down at the top of her sweet female slit.I got on the bed and lay so that my head was between her legs, about six inches away from “ground zero.” Before I settled into my position, I kissed the inside of one thigh while I traced my fingers lightly along the inside of her other thigh.”I’m really wet now,” she said in a breathy voice. I knew she would be moaning soon. There is something about hearing a woman moan in sexual rapture that makes me even hornier that I already am, harder than I already am.”Momma said I’m not supposed to let anybody ever see this but I can’t help being a bad girl,” she said. “You won’t tell her, will you?””You’re okay, baby. It’s just me and this is getting me so turned on!” I reassured her.She lowered her left hand and it took over on her clit while her right hand moved lower and she put her middle finger inside her pussy and started thrusting it in and out.”I need it so bad!” she said in that wonderful moaning voice.”Let me taste your finger!” I begged.She pulled her middle finger out of her slit and offered it to me. I licked it like a hungry a****l; I loved the taste of her pussy. Again, my arousal went to another level.She reached over and found the vibrator. I grabbed the K-Y and offered it to her but she shook her head to let me know that she didn’t need it. She turned the vibrator on and it buzzed loud enough that I knew it was turned on to its highest speed.She placed the tip of the vibrator at the entrance to her canal and then suddenly plunged it into her. Within a few seconds, I could see that her orgasm was imminent.She sped up the motion of her left hand against her clit and she started breathing irregularly and moaning guttural noises. Her a****l sounds abruptly changed to “oh fuck, oh fuck!” as her torso started arching up off the bed and then falling back against the mattress. That happened three or four times and then she pulled the vibrator from her wet hole and stopped moving her left hand.”Holy shit, that was good!” she declaimed. “Oh, fuck! . . . We may need to do that again sometime,” she hinted, letting me know just how much she enjoyed putting on a show.”Yeah, it got me pretty hot and bothered, too!” I added.Connie pulled her knees up towards her chest, then rolled over on to her tummy. I got on top of her, supporting most of my weight with my knees and elbows, pressing my manliness against her cute little behind.”You certainly are hard,” Connie noted. “Is there some place that thing would rather be?””You just made one of my fantasies come true and now I want to make one of yours come true . . . again. Do you want to try double penetration again, but different?” I asked.”Oh, yeah, but what do you mean by different?” she asked eagerly.”Why don’t you put that vibrator back where it was earlier?” I asked.”You mean . . . in my . . . little girl pussy?” she said in her exaggerated coy little girl voice.”Yes, in that little girl pussy that I love to fuck!” I said as I pushed my dick hard against her ass.”Well, where would you put your dick?” she asked, continuing the innocent little girl charade.”You’ll find out, little girl!” I said in my big, bad wolf voice.She reached for the vibrator and lifted up just enough to slide it under her and down to the entrance of her still wet slit.”Now what, daddy?” she asked.The “daddy” caught me a bit off guard. Maybe Connie had some i****t fantasies that she had not yet expressed to me but now was not the time to inquire. I slid down just enough so that I could place light kisses on her shoulders while my hands stroked the sides of her boobs. After a minute of that, I started sliding lower and while I placed kisses along her spine.When I reached the small of her back, I began licking in small circles, gradually moving lower until I reached the top of her butt crack. Meanwhile, the vibrator continued to work its magic inside her juicy vagina. As my tongue began to drop down into her cleft, she realized that I was heading for her little bum hole.”I’ve . . . oh . . . that feels . . . mmmm . . . oh gawd! That feels sooooo good!” she exclaimed as my tongue reached the center of her little rosebud. Connie was almost fanatical about her hygiene and we had just been in the pool, so her behind was as clean as any other part of her body and I had no hesitation about diving in.I began tonguing her ass just like I would tongue her clit, and then I started trying to push the tip of my tongue into her ass.”So good! You’re so nasty!” she declared. “But . . . no more, just fuck me in the ass!”I sat back on my haunches and coated my dick in K-Y, then poured some onto her butt and worked it around the entrance to her forbidden zone. I moved forward so that the tip of my dick touched her ass and then I pushed forward.There was no resistance as I invaded her bowels with my man meat. I kept pushing until I was in as far as I could go.”Don’t stop or go slow. Just fuck my ass hard!” she insisted.I knew I wouldn’t last long but I realized that she probably knew that, also. I began pistoning my rod in and out of her cute little derrière. With every thrust into her behind, she moaned louder and I soon felt the cum welling up in my balls, ready to be unleashed in my very cute wife’s tight and tasty behind.”I’m cumming!” I announced as I felt my cum rushing through my dick towards its release. I felt her ass moving up and down and then I felt it tightening up in waves, squeezing the cum from me as my blasts of sperm exploded inside her ass. As my orgasm subsided, she sank lifelessly into the mattress.”Pull out . . . slow,” she requested, and I complied. When I was out of her, I rolled over onto my side and then she rolled over onto her side so that aydıntepe escort she was facing me.”We can’t . . . can’t do that very often,” she declared.I was concerned. As good as it felt, I didn’t want to do anything that might hurt her. “It was so damn intense! It was good – really, really good – but I couldn’t handle that all the time, and . . . obviously, that’s no way to make babies.””I know we talked about having a baby, but . . . you want to start trying now? We just got married, and . . .””And,” she interrupted me, “I have a daughter who will soon be 15 years old, I’m not 20 years old anymore, and I don’t want to have a teenager at home when I’m 65, and . . . I don’t have any doubt about us lasting. I don’t need to wait to make sure that we’re good. I already know we’re good.””You’re right, Connie, and if you want to start trying now . . . we’ll start trying now, and I guess that means concentrating on, you know, regular sex at the right time of the month and saving up the sperm for sex at the right time, but . . . once you’re pregnant, we’re going to have some catching up to do in the other departments,” I facetiously warned her.”Don’t you worry about me making you happy. I’ll lick between your toes if that keeps you happy in our bed.””Okay. Just one more thing. Can we do one last 69 before we start concentrating on making a baby?” I asked.”Give me a minute to catch my breath and I’m all over it. I guess you want to cum in my mouth, Mr. Nasty Boy?” she asked.I looked at her with a pleading face and my hands held up in front of me like a dog begging for food. “Oh please, oh please, oh please?” I asked.”You know I can’t say ‘no’ to you,” she responded. Then, with a more serious look on her face, she said, “I love you way too much to ever say ‘no.'””Me, too,” I responded.After a few minutes, Connie climbed on top of me. As I licked on her pussy, she had me deep in her mouth and then pushed the tip of her K-Y coated finger into my ass as I started to cum. Once my orgasm subsided, I remember thinking that I had hit the jackpot as I drifted off to sleep.* * *The next week, Connie had a visit to her gynecologist and he gave her advised about some things we could do to increase the odds of conception. He thought she would have no problems conceiving and delivering a healthy baby and he wished her good luck.We spent less time in the hot tub. We started having missionary position sex at the right time of the month and our sex life began to have some routine to it. I’m not complaining. Routine sex with a goddess is still sex with a goddess and I fell in love with Connie more each day.At the end of the summer, Sally returned to us and we were all glad to be reunited. Sally had resolved some of the conflict with her dad but I doubted that she would ever fully forgive him for his transgressions. In the life of a c***d, what had happened to Sally was traumatic, her world had been shattered, her sense of security and peace had been assaulted, and a pardon seemed very unlikely.Connie, Sally, and I attended football games, fall barbecues, and other social events and we looked like the perfect little family. We were the perfect little family. I was happy, Connie was happy, and Sally was happy. She became affectionate towards me as a girl would be towards her father, giving me hugs and goodnight kisses and looking to me for approval and praise, and I tried to give her what she needed from me.Our lives had an absence of drama. We knew that each other would be there when we needed it, we respected each other, and we placed “us” above “me.” The only unexpected excitement in my professional life was that I was retained by a client who had a significant medical malpractice claim against a hospital in the panhandle and, if I handled the case to the best of my ability and had a bit of good fortune, I would make a fee that, by itself, would give me more than enough to fund a very comfortable retirement. Wednesday, October 22, 2008I got Doreen’s divorce finalized that fall. Initially, her husband had defaulted and I had thought that it would be another simple, uncontested divorce, but he showed up at the first final hearing and told the judge that he had just gotten out of rehab. He said he wanted to hire a lawyer.A month later, I got a response from a lawyer, a recent graduate who obviously had so little experience that he was taking cases for a nominal fee. There weren’t any c***dren and he had wasted what little they had managed to accumulate so there really wasn’t anything to fight about.We rescheduled the final hearing for October 22 and it took not more than five minutes. When we left the court house, I told Doreen to take the rest of the day off. She turned to me and put her arms around me to give me a hug. While she had me in an embrace, she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “Thanks, Tom! You’re a very special man. Connie’s lucky that I have some ethics in me!” After making that statement, she spun around and headed towards her car. I thought that she might have embarrassed herself with that last statement, as she was occasionally prone to do, and I never mentioned anything about it . . . to Doreen or to Connie.Within the next week, Doreen signed up on several internet dating sites and started going out with a different guy every Friday and Saturday night. I advised her to have fun but cautioned her against having “too much fun,” meaning don’t get a reputation as a slut or being “easy,” practice safe sex, and don’t be in a rush to find “Mr. Right.” I don’t know if she really listened to all of my advice, but she finally seemed happier, and I was glad for her.Friday, July 24, 2009We had been married over a year and our happiness had not only continued, but it had grown. As Connie and I got to know each other even better, our respect for each other had flourished, and that made our love stronger.We were still trying to have a baby, although there were times that Connie relented and we had wild, kinky, a****l sex instead of doing what the doctor recommended. As time had gone on without a pregnancy, I knew that Connie was becoming frustrated. She had actually started talking about adopting an infant; I wasn’t adamantly opposed but I was not enthralled with the idea, either. I didn’t want somebody else’s baby. If we were going to do this, I wanted it to be our baby.Sally was with her dad in Birmingham for the summer. Connie called me at the office on Friday afternoon to ask if we could go out for dinner that night. When I asked her where she wanted to go, she immediately suggested the club. I readily agreed and made a reservation.When I got home, Connie was dressed in the gold sequined dress that she wore on our first date. I looked at her with a quizzical expression that said more than words.”Well, it’s been a long time since we’ve been at the club and . . . I was thinking about our first date recently, and . . . I just wanted to go there ‘for old time’s sake.'””Well,” I replied, “we’re not exactly old timers, but there’s nothing wrong with reliving great memories, so let’s do it.”We went to the club and actually got seated at the same table we had for our first date. “Isn’t this romantic?” I asked rhetorically.I ordered a rum and coke but Connie passed on a mixed drink and asked for an iced tea. That immediately got my attention but I let it pass without comment. We ordered dinner and talked while waiting on our food.”Do you remember our first date?” she asked.”Like it was yesterday,” I assured her.”You sat over there and charmed the panties off me,” she chided me.”The way you were coming on to me, I wasn’t sure that you were even wearing panties,” I retorted.”And then you begged me to take you home and have sex with you, and you even promised to marry me if I swallowed,” she suggested in a hushed voice, not wanting any of the other patrons to hear these ridiculous and facetious “assertions.””And you said that if I could make you cum three times in one night, you’d accept my proposal,” I responded with an equally ludicrous fabrication.”And then I said that if you married me, I would give you a baby . . ..” Connie suddenly became very serious. “Tom, I’m pregnant. I saw Dr. Cross this morning and he confirmed what the home test said yesterday. I’m pregnant and we’re going to have a baby.”I was so moved, so happy, that I was speechless. I was happy for myself and happy for Connie. I felt so absolutely loved by this woman. I know that if the situation ever arose, I would willingly lay down my life for her. I had never felt that way about anyone. I was so overwhelmed with feelings at that moment that I actually felt tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes.I stood up and held my hands out to her, inviting her to stand. I put my arms around her and hugged her as I whispered in her ear, “I am the happiest man on this planet because of you. I don’t know what I would do without you.””You don’t need to worry about that question, because I’m not going anywhere. You are the best husband in the world. I love you, Tom.””I love you, Connie.”About that time, our food arrived and we returned to our seats.The rest of the conversation that night was about the baby. It was due in March. Should we make a trip to Birmingham to tell Sally? What will we name the baby if it’s a boy? If it’s a girl? When can we start shopping for furniture for a nursery? Should Connie stop working so she can stay at home with the baby?When we go home, Connie told me that the doctor warned her about two things: first, do not stop having sex because you’re worried about hurting the baby; sex won’t hurt the baby – not in the first two trimesters – but not having sex will drive your husband insane. Second, stay out of the hot tub during the pregnancy.”And, obviously,” Connie added, “I’m not drinking any alcohol while I’m pregnant. But . . . you don’t need to get me drunk to have a good time, Mr. Darnell. Not at all!”Connie started doing a strip tease and soon she was naked, on the bed in a doggy style position, and she turned her head back towards me and, in a sultry voice, said, “Come and get me!”Did I mention that I hit the jackpot with this girl?* * *The next few months were filled with a trip to Birmingham to tell Sally, converting a bedroom to a nursery, shopping for baby furniture and maternity clothes (of course, she didn’t need them this early in the pregnancy,) and all those other things that first time pregnant couples do.Connie was a beautiful woman but pregnancy made her even more beautiful. It’s hard to explain how I could become even more attracted to a woman who I already thought was the most beautiful, sexy goddess on the planet, but that’s what happened. The sex between us was filled with love and it was so tremendously satisfying. Connie did warn me that we would need to slow down in her last trimester but she offered that her hands and mouth would both be able to satisfy me when cooterville became off limits. For now, we were good to go. And man, did we go!Wednesday, October 14, 2009I had been attending Connie’s prenatal appointments with Dr. Walters and we had recently had the first ultrasound. The technician could not yet tell the sex of the c***d and, frankly, looking at an ultrasound image didn’t give me much information, but it was exciting to see our little bundle of joy.A few days later, Dr. Walters’ office called and told Connie that Dr. Walters wanted to see her sooner than the next appointment which had already been schedule, so we went to see him on Wednesday.”I’m afraid I have some bad news for you, and I wanted to give it to you as soon as possible, and in person instead of over the phone. I looked at the ultrasound and saw something that looked a bit irregular to me so I sent it to a specialist friend of mine at Emory and he reported back and confirmed what I suspected. Your baby had a heart defect and it is an extremely serious heart defect. It’s called ‘left heart hypoplastic syndrome’ and what that means is that your baby’s heart is not forming normally like it needs to be to do its job. We don’t know the cause of this condition but it’s not because of anything that you’ve done or didn’t do. Most likely, it’s an inherited defect. At this point, there’s very little we can do except monitor the situation. Bed rest won’t make a difference and, if you stay in bed, you’ll only be punishing yourself for no reason.””I have to tell you the horrible news that 95% of babies diagnosed with this condition either die before they’re born, or they die shortly after they’re born. Connie, this baby could die inside of you so, if you start feeling like there’s anything funny going on inside you, anything at all, just come to the office and tell the front desk you need to see me. You don’t need to call in advance;’ I’ll give them instructions to interrupt me with whatever I’m doing. If I’m not in the office, one of my partners will see you. I’m so sorry to have to deliver this bad news . . . so sorry.”Connie was crying. Seeing my wife cry triggered the same response in me. The doctor left us alone and we both cried until it felt like we could not possibly have any more tears.We drove home and I called Doreen to ask that she cancel my afternoon appointments. I told her what had happened and she started crying. That afternoon, she had flowers delivered to the house.When Sally got home from school, she immediately sensed that something was wrong. Giving her such awful news felt horrible but delaying in telling her would have been even worse. Sally was now 15 years old and in the 10th grade. She was mature enough to understand how this affected all of us and not just her. She cried for herself. She cried for her mother, and she cried for me. We hugged each other and we all cried together.t was the first time that our family had been challenged with a trauma and we withstood the test, but we were all devastated. We all cried many more tears over the next two weeks.Thursday, October 29, 2009Connie woke up at 4:30 am and she immediately woke me to complain that she felt absolutely awful and she had cramping in her belly. I rushed her to the emergency room and, within minutes, a flurry of activity resulted in her having IV’s started and a fetal ultrasound exam. I was soon telling her “I love you” as she was being rolled down the corridor towards the surgical unit.I had awakened Sally and she had accompanied us to the hospital. I didn’t want to leave her alone and, as always, I didn’t want to make her feel left out of anything that was important to our family. Sally and I waited in the family lounge outside the surgical suites. I called Doreen to have her cancel my appointments and to reschedule a hearing. Sally and I waited, and we waited. About two hours later, Dr. Walters emerged from the surgery center and he came over to talk to us.”The hospital called me as soon as you arrived and I rushed over to take care of your wife. Connie was cramping because the baby was already gone. We’ve delivered the fetus and Connie is still sedated and sleeping. Connie will be okay – physically – with some time to recuperate, but psychologically, something like this leaves deep scars. Tom, the woman isn’t the only one who is scarred when this happens; it hurts her husband, and,” he added, looking at Sally, “it hurts the other c***dren, also. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other about this and maybe even have some counseling if you think you need it, and . . . if there’s anything I can do, please let me know. Sometimes, as a doctor, I feel absolutely helpless, and this is one of those times. Words just aren’t enough, but it’s all I can offer you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”We stayed at the hospital that day and Connie was finally awake in the early afternoon. She already knew what had happened and she was upset. After all of the tears we had cried over the past two weeks, you might think there couldn’t possibly be any tears left in us . . . but there were.Friday, October 30, 2009Connie was discharged from the hospital the next day. Her mom had flown in to Gainesville as soon as she could and she stayed with us for the next week. We didn’t see Connie’s parents very often since they travelled frequently, but I always got along well with them. I was glad to have her mom with us at this time. There are some things about women, and particularly about women and pregnancy, babies, etc., that us men can never understand (just like women can never understand what it feels like to get kicked in the balls.)* * *Connie was depressed for a while and I would not have expected her to respond any differently. She gradually seemed to come out of her shell and she started interacting with the world again. She returned to her job and she seemed to be returning to her old self.We didn’t have sex for more than a month after the miscarriage. I knew she needed time to heal – both physically and mentally – and this was time for me to focus on her and not on myself. However, I must admit that I was becoming quite horny. Doreen prancing around the office in her short skirts and low cut blouses didn’t help, but I had no desire to dishonor Connie, myself, Doreen, or my vows.I never said a word about sex to Connie. I never complained about my state of deprivation and I never hinted about wanting to resume our sexual relationship. I simply “took matters into my own hands” for the time and counted myself as lucky to be married to such a wonderful, wonderful woman.Friday, December 4, 2009Connie called me at work around 4:00 to tell me that Sally would be spending the night with Bethany – one of her friends – and they were leaving around 7:00 to go to dinner and then to a movie. “I thought maybe we could have a couple of margaritas, do some steaks on the grill, and then get in the hot tub,” she suddenly lowered her voice to a whisper, “naked!””That sounds good to me,” I said, not wanting to sound overly eager, not wanting to sound too hopeful, not wanting to do or say anything that might make Connie feel guilty about my state of horniness.”You’ve been as good as gold since everything happened – well, you’re always as good as gold – but, anyway, I realize that you’ve been a bit neglected in some areas recently and I owe you . . ..”I interrupted that thought. “You don’t owe me anything. You’re the best wife in the world. I’ve just tried to give you what you need, just like you’d do for me. When you’re ready and you want to get physical, we’ll do it, but I don’t want you doing it just because you think you owe me.””Tom,” Connie responded, “I need it as much as you do. I need to love you and I need to be loved by you. I need my world to return to something that seems normal and making love with you is a normal part of my world, so . . . if you can stop at the store and get a few steaks – and give me five minutes warning – I’ll have a margarita waiting for you when you walk in the house.”When I got home, Connie was waiting for me with a margarita, a smile, and a very sheer negligee that gave away most of her secrets. She greeted me with a hug and a kiss that told me that my Connie was coming back.We had a few drinks before dinner and then we had a soak in the hot tub. We fooled around some while we were enjoying the warm water and the cool evening, and then we went inside and made love. It wasn’t wild, kinky, oral, anal, toe-licking sex. It was slow, gentle, and filled with love. I sucked and licked on her nipples like I worshipped them. I massaged her clit slowly, patiently, not wanting to make her cum too fast. I put my finger inside her and felt for the spot that always gets her aroused when it gets massaged.She finally had gotten as worked up as she could handle. “I need you in me now,” she said. “I need you so bad!”I got between her legs and pointed my hard rod at the slit between her wet lips. As I plunged forward she brought her legs up and wrapped her ankles around each other while her heels rested on my ass.”I love you so much! I’ve missed you and I’ve missed us and . . . I need to cum inside you so bad!””I want to feel you cum in me. I need to know that I can still make you cum!””You’re going to make me explode,” I said as I started thrusting faster into the wet walls of her entrance. “Are you ready?” I asked.Somewhere between my balls and my ass, I felt a swelling sensation, a pressure that I needed to release. It grew stronger and then it felt like it was travelling though my dick. When I felt the sensation near the end of my manhood, I began spurting globs of cum into her horny, waiting receptacle.”You feel so damned good!” I moaned as my body was driven by the force of my orgasm.”Fill me up, Tom!” Connie demanded. I felt her pussy squeezing on my dick and I knew she was beginning to experiences the throes of her own orgasm. “Pinch my nipples!”I reached between us and took her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and lightly pinched on the erect point of her boob. Immediately, I felt her pelvis thrusting back and forth, squeezing the cum from my dick, and she moaned every time my chest hairs rubbed across her breasts. As my dick stopped pumping man juice into her pussy, her breathing slowed down and she stopped bouncing around on the bed.”I needed that!” she said.”Me, too!” I agreed.We both slept very well that night.Monday, February 8, 2010Connie and I were lying in bed at the end of the day. She was in the midst of her monthly malady but she knew I was horny so she had satisfied me with her expert oral skills. I have had oral sex with many women and many of them refuse to let me cum in their mouth. I understand that they think it’s disgusting but, when I give a woman oral sex, she usually cums and releases a flood of juices that I eagerly lap up. Finishing with my tongue while she’s cumming makes her orgasm even more intense and being able to give such pleasure to a woman makes me feel good about myself as a man. So, when a woman doesn’t want me to cum in her mouth, I understand, but I also feel that it’s a matter of inhibitions interfering with enjoyment.Connie had been raised to be a prim and proper young lady. Based on her upbringing, you would expect her to be somewhat inhibited and very much limited to vanilla sex, but you would be wrong. She begged me to cum in her mouth, telling me how much she likes the taste of my cream and how much she needs it.So, since we were lying there with me in a state of post-orgasmic bliss, I could not have felt better.”Tom, I want to try again,” she said.”Oh, honey, you’ll need to give me a few minutes. I’m afraid that you drained everything I had,” I advised her.”No, not that, silly – although, if you want me to do it again, you know I will. No, I mean I want to get pregnant again, and we’ll just need to get some genetic testing to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she said.”I love you dearly, Miss Connie, and I want to give you whatever you want. But I hope you don’t want this just for me, like you think you owe me a baby. You don’t owe me anything,” I declared.”No, Tom, I want a baby, and you do too, right?” she asked.”Yes, I’d love to have a baby, but . . . I don’t want to jeopardize your health. I could live the rest of my life without having a baby but I couldn’t live the rest of my life without you.” I meant every word of what I told her.”Everything’ll be fine,” she tried to reassure me. “I love you and you love me and we’ll be great parents together.”She rolled over onto her side and I spooned behind her, going to sleep with her held as a willing captive in the arms of my love.Tuesday, August 24, 2010We went to mediation on the medical malpractice case which had occupied much of my attention over the past 1½ years. Hospitals rarely admit their liability but their insurance companies are realistic, and in this case, they knew that a jury would find them responsible and could easily assess damages at $5,000,000 or more. The case involved a baby which had been in fetal distress while the mother was in labor and the hospital staff had ignored what experts agreed were the obvious warning signs. Instead of taking mom to surgery for an emergency C-section, the baby had stayed inside mom for an additional 14 hours, and the prenatal hypoxia had resulted in significant brain damage. This baby would never be able to care for itself and would need attendant care for the rest of its life.At the end of the day, the hospital’s insurance company agreed to pay $3,500,000 by the end of the year. Out of that amount, I would receive $1,000,000 in attorney’s fees. Placed in a reasonably diverse and secure investment portfolio, this would provide more than enough for a very comfortable retirement at age 55.My client was happy with the settlement and I felt a sense of financial security that I had never felt before. By the end of September, the settlement details were all resolved and I had received the funds from the hospital’s insurance company. I disbursed my client’s portion to them and then paid a visit to my financial planner and CPA. Tuesday, January 18, 2011More than a year after we again had started trying to get pregnant again, we had no pregnancy, no bun in the oven, no baby in waiting. A few times, Connie had some suspicions that we had made a baby – perhaps nothing more than wishful thinking – and we had sat waiting for the home pregnancy test results a few times, but the answer was always “no, you’re not pregnant.”Connie scheduled an appointment with Dr. Walters. I went with her to the appointment so that I could ask questions and Connie would not need to remember all the details to repeat to me later.Dr. Walters took some more detailed history about Connie’s prior pregnancies. He also ordered some tests for both of us. Of course, they wanted to make sure that I wasn’t shooting “blanks.” Connie asked about the possibility of having another baby with left heart hypoplastic syndrome. He cautiously told her that he couldn’t promise that it wouldn’t happen again and, in fact, since it was believed to be a congenital defect, we had increased odds of having a second baby with that condition. However, he believed that it was unlikely that it would happen again.I was glad to learn that my sperm count was normal and my sperm motility was good. Obviously, we had a problem and a low sperm count would have been an easier problem to fix, but . . . no man wants to hear that he doesn’t have enough boys in the boat . . . or that his boys don’t know how to row the boat.A month later, Dr. Warren ordered a test for Connie – hysterosalpingography – which revealed that she had an anatomic irregularity in her fallopian tubes, apparently an inherited condition which affected both fallopian tubes, and which made it difficult for sperm to enter her fallopian tubes and fertilize her egg. The answer to this problem was a visit to a fertility clinic which specialized in in vitro fertilization. In a nutshell, the plan was to get Connie on a diet which favored egg production, combined with some injections which trigger the ovaries to release several eggs at once, then to surgically remove those eggs, fertilize them with my sperm in a test tube, and implant a fertilized egg in Connie’s uterus.It was a lengthy plan and the initial step was for Connie to start on her diet and some hormones. As she said, while we were waiting on this process, there was no harm in continuing to try to have a baby the “old fashioned” way, and I saw no reason to disagree with her. I needed the physical closeness with her and, obviously, it felt damned good to make love with my beautiful wife.Married life – despite the fertility problem – was wonderful and my practice was growing. I hired an associate to help me with the workload so that I could devote some more time to my family. Sally was 17 years old and the belle of the ball wherever she went. She had a driver’s license and a new car, which she had received on her birthday. We cautioned Sally that the car would be taken away from her if her grades started to slip, but the warning was unnecessary.Sally had a boyfriend, Brad, with whom she was spending time – I thought too much time – but Connie did not want to impose any restrictions unless they were necessary and, at this point, Sally was attending school, enrolled in honors classes, and maintaining her 4.0 GPA. She also assured Connie that she was still a virgin and had not engaged in sex with anyone. Nonetheless, Connie did take Sally to see Dr. Walters and get her started on birth control “just in case.”Thursday, May 5, 2011I was in my office on a Thursday morning, reviewing some documents which I had received from opposing counsel in a high profile divorce case. Doreen buzzed me on the intercom to tell me that my wife was there to see me. Connie had not mentioned stopping to see me so I was a bit puzzled.I went to open my office door and Connie strode directly into my office and asked me to shut the door. As soon as the door was closed, she put her arms around me and started crying.At first, she didn’t say anything and, though I was anxious to learn what had her so upset, I patiently waited for her to become a bit calmer.”I had my annual physical this morning with the new primary, Dr. Winters,” she began. “You know, the whole nine yards, especially with the IVF thing going on. That included a mammogram that was done last week. The doctor says that there’s a suspicious finding on the mammogram and I need to have a diagnostic mammogram now. So that’s scheduled for tomorrow, but I know. It’s breast cancer. It got grandma, it got Aunt Bonnie, and now it’s going to get me.”A good attorney is rarely at a loss for words, but I had no idea what to say. I certainly didn’t want to make any funny comments just to make her stop crying. I didn’t want to tell her everything was going to be okay, because I didn’t feel too confident about that statement. Instead, I started crying. I put my arms around my wife, I hugged her tight, and we cried.* * *We talked about not telling Sally what was going on but we soon decided it would be impossible for us to hide this from her. I cancelled my calendar for the rest of day and went home with Connie.When Sally came home, we sat and explained the news. We explained that nothing had been confirmed but that there were suspicions of breast cancer. We also explained about the family history of breast cancer. Sally started crying and the three of us hugged and cried.Friday, May 6, 2011Friday morning, Connie and I went back to the mammography center for the diagnostic scan. We were told that the results would be available by noontime and immediately would be faxed over to Dr. Winters’ office.We had lunch at a little sandwich shop but neither of us was really feeling hungry. We had a 1:30 appointment with Dr. Winters and he called us in early.”Tom, Connie, the results aren’t what we hoped for. The mass in your breast – it’s the left breast – looks too suspicious to ignore. That doesn’t mean that it’s cancer but it’s a strong possibility. The next step is a biopsy and a referral to an oncologist. Mike Williams over at the university is a great oncologist – excellent, world renown. I’ll personally call over there and ask him to see you as soon as possible. I’ll also make sure that the biopsy gets scheduled as soon as possible.”As you can imagine, the weekend was horribly somber. I did call John to let him know what was happening and to ask if he had any objections to change the summer visitation schedule. I didn’t think that Sally would want to leave her mother in the midst of all this chaos and John agreed. I don’t know if John really cared about what was happening but I do know that he understood that, if he made Sally come to Birmingham for the summer, she would make his life miserable. He was smart enough to not make that mistake.Tuesday, May 10, 2011Driving to the hospital, Connie and I were quiet for most of the ride. As we neared the campus, I asked, “Do you remember our first car ride together?””Of course,” she said. “You picked me up and took me out to dinner on our first date.””Okay, okay. I should have said, ‘do you remember our second car ride together?'””Yeah, you were taking me back to the house and we both knew what was going to happen when we got there, and I was kind of nervous and excited and, I didn’t show it, but I was just a bundle of nerves.””You’re right, you didn’t show it. We didn’t talk most of the time. I was worried about whether I would be able to please you, because you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.””I would have fallen in love with you if you had pulled out a limp noodle that night,” Connie laughed. “I don’t think you really understand how smitten I was with you.””We were meant to be, weren’t we?” I asked rhetorically. Of course we were meant to be together. I had found a personal paradise but all of that was being challenged now. We parked the car and held hands as we walked in to the imposing edifice built by dollars gleaned from all the poor slobs of the world.The biopsy require general anesthesia but Connie said it was a painful procedure. I had taken the day off from the office so I took her home and did whatever I could to make her comfortable. The results would be available the next day and we had an appointment with Dr. Williams on Thursday.Thursday, May 12, 2011Our immediate impression of Dr. Williams was that he was an extremely kind and caring person, but he wasted no time on pleasant introductions.”I’ll get right to what you want to know. The pathology report says you have infiltrating lobular carcinoma. Sometimes, it’s called ‘invasive lobular carcinoma.’ It’s a slow growing type of breast cancer and how well it responds to treatment depends on how far it’s spread. We’ll need to do some more testing to determine how far it’s progressed and we can’t really come up with a treatment plan until we know the answer to that question. If it’s early and still confined to a small area, surgery and radiation treatment may be the best option. If it’s spread beyond the breast, chemotherapy may be the best choice. The prognosis depends on how far it’s spread. We’ve come a long way with survival rates for breast cancer in general but of course you’re much more likely to survive if we’ve caught it early.””How soon do we do the testing to determine how far it’s spread?” I asked.”There probably aren’t any openings tomorrow, so I’ll try to get a PET scan scheduled for early next week. . . . Y’all seem like mighty nice folks and I’m sorry to be the one to give you such awful news. I wish I could tell you something more optimistic, but . . . we just won’t know until we get the results from the scan. Once you have the scan, I’ll see you back here the following day and we’ll see where we go from there.”Dr. Williams patiently answered all of our questions and he told us that his mother had died from invasive lobular carcinoma; that is what motivated him to become an oncologist. I was glad that we had found a compassionate and respectful doctor to treat Connie, but the news was awful. Sometimes, life just sucks.* * *After we got home that afternoon, we got a phone call informing us that the PET scan had been scheduled for Monday. After that call, Connie and I had a discussion that I wished had never become necessary.”Tom, let’s talk,” Connie began.”Sure, if that’s what you want,” I replied.”Actually, I’d like to wake up and discover that all of this was just a dream, but that’s not going to happen. We can avoid talking about the elephant in the room but I think it’s better for us to talk openly about what’s happening.””Absolutely,” I agreed.”First, it may be too early to know but I have a pretty strong feeling that the news on Monday won’t be good. Breast cancer got my grandma and it got my aunt and I have a feeling that it’s going to get me . . . not what I want, believe me. I’ve been looking forward to spending many years with you, maybe having another baby, watching Sally grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, have k**s, all those normal things that most folks get to do.””If we find out that it’s in the early stages and we can beat it, then we’ll do whatever it takes . . . including a mastectomy, if that’s what it takes. I just hope that you can get used to me not having any boobs.””Connie,” I interrupted, “I like your boobs but I love you. Of course we’ll do whatever it takes . . . and I’ll keep on loving you.””The first day I met you, I knew you were the right one, Tom Darnell. Now . . . if it’s advanced, we won’t really know how long I have to spend with you and how much of that time will be healthy, quality time, so . . . I want to go on trying to live a normal life as long as possible. I don’t want you treating me like I’m some fragile china doll. I’ll keep cooking meals, doing laundry, going places. I’ll still keep you warm in bed at night. The only difference is that Sally will be here this summer.””Of course,” I assured her, “whatever you want.””No, Tom, it can’t be just what I want. You’re in this with me and this affects both of us, so it’s what you want, too. If I’m leaving you . . . then you’re going to be alone, I hope you’ll finish raising Sally, and, if it’s ever a question . . . I don’t want you grieving for me the rest of your life. You need a good woman in your life and I’m not the only woman who can give you what you need, so . . . wait a respectful time and then start looking again. Got it?””Yes, ma’am,” I said in as respectful a voice as I could muster through the emotions I was feeling.”But, until we get to that point, you’re mine. All mine! And I’ve got something which needs some attention from you, so I need to see you up in the bedroom right now,” she announced as if it was an order which could not be disregarded, then she turned and went upstairs. No, there wasn’t much chance that I would ignore the opportunity to be intimate with the love of my life, the goddess of my universe, the queen of my kingdom.When I got up the bedroom, Connie had already gone into the bathroom. She walked back into the bedroom a few moments later and she was totally nude. She placed a hand under each of her breasts and said, “There’s cancer in these, and it may take me out, but these are still a part of me and I hope that isn’t too strange for you,” she said.”I’m not sure I know what you’re trying to say,” I explained.Connie approached me and then wrapped her arms around me. “I still want you to suck and lick on my little boobs, Tom. They’re little but it feels damn good when you latch onto them like a hungry baby.”Connie and I made love. I licked on her boobs and I played with her clit. I licked on her clit until she came and then I licked on her clit again. I got on top of her and I entered her in the missionary position. She was staring into my eyes and no words were necessary. She wanted me to know how much she loved me.”I love you, too, Miss Connie. You are my universe,” I replied.I felt myself getting close and I could tell that she was close, too.”I’m close, sweetie. I’m going to cum in you,” I warned her with a sense of urgency.”Yes, cum in me . . . love me, fill me up . . . I want you so bad!” she moaned.We came together. At the time, of course, I did not know it, but that was to be the last time that we ever made love. Fortunately, on Thursday, May 12, 2011, I had no way to knowing that. Instead of crying and sobbing, I told Connie how wonderful she made me feel and how much I needed her in my life.Then, undoubtedly from the stress and exhaustion caused by our recent turmoil, we both fell asleep.I slept soundly for a while and then I started dreaming. I dreamt that I was in a canoe which was drifting down a stream and I wanted to go back to the river bank where I had launched but the current was too strong. I realized that Connie was standing on the bank, begging me to come back to her, and her image grew smaller as I drifted down stream, then I went around a bend in the stream and she was gone.* * *Friday and the rest of the weekend were spent with Connie in bed, primarily, as she complained of feeling tired. No doubt the stress of this news was draining all of her energy. Sally knew, and John knew, but Connie had not yet told her parents. She wanted to wait until we had some definitive answers about the extent of the cancer and the treatment options.Tuesday, May 17, 2011We had another appointment with Dr. Williams. The PET scan had been done on Monday and we were meeting with Dr. Williams to get the results and to discuss treatment options.We were ushered into Dr. Williams’ office and sat there only a few moments waiting for him.After the initial formalities were exchanged, Dr. Williams launched into the news.”The PET scan shows that the cancer has spread to other organs above and below your diaphragm, and it’s much more advanced than I would have guessed based on your lab results and your symptoms. Surgery is not an option. It’s too widespread to try radiation treatment. At this point, the only thing we can do is give you some chemotherapy and pray for a good response, but . . . Connie, I don’t think you have much chance to beat this thing. My guess is that it’s grown rapidly and it’ll continue to grow. I don’t know if we can slow it down at all. If not, I think it’s a matter of months for you. You shouldn’t try to travel anywhere, you should go ahead and resign or take a disability leave from your job, and you should visit with all of the family and friends that you want to see. I know this sounds horribly bleak and I hate being the one to tell you all of this. Its days like this when I really hate this job. I wish I had some good news for you but I don’t. If you want to get a second opinion from one of those big cancer centers, I totally understand and I wouldn’t be offended in the least, but . . . yesterday, I sent your results to a friend of mine who works at one of those hospitals out in Houston. I was hoping I had missed something. As proud as I am, I was hoping I was wrong, but . . . Frank looked at everything and agreed with my assessment.”I was holding back my tears until I looked at Connie. She was already crying, and then I began sobbing like a baby. We held each other and, eventually, we stopped crying. We talked with Dr. Williams about the chemotherapy and that was scheduled to start a few days later.* * *Dr. Williams was right. He was so damned right, I wish I could hate him, but I knew it wasn’t his fault.Connie started chemotherapy but she only had a few sessions of that. It left her so weak that Dr. Williams decided it wasn’t worth the marginal benefit which it might provide.Connie’s parents came to Gainesville and stayed with us for the summer. Sally never went to Birmingham. I hired another attorney to take over my cases so that I could stay at home with Connie.We had a few moments when we found something to laugh about but there many were more times when we could not avoid the ugly truth of our situation.Tuesday, October 11, 2011Connie became weaker and breathing became more difficult for her so she was placed on oxygen. She contracted pneumonia and was hospitalized for treatment.We knew the time was close. Sally, Connie’s parents, and I were all in Connie’s hospital room. The weather outside was clear and warm and it would have been a good day to be outside, playing in the sand, or even just shoveling manure, anything other than standing around the hospital bed of my dying wife.”I don’t think I’ve got much longer,” Connie whispered. She motioned for her father and mother to come closer and they each bent over and kissed her. “You’ve been the best parents in the world, and wherever I’m going, I’ll always love you.”Next, she summoned Sally for a hug. I was standing there and I heard what she whispered in Sally’s ear.”Always be proud of who you are and what you do. If you can’t be proud of something, don’t do it. You are the best daughter that a mother could ever hope for and I’ll always love you. Please look out for Tom when I’m gone. Eventually, he’ll need someone else in his life and I hope that you’ll understand and help him with his struggles. Don’t forget all those things we talked about.”Finally, it was my turn. “You made my life complete, Tom. You’ve been the reward I always hoped for and everything I ever needed. Take care of Sally and promise me that you’ll go on with your life.””I love you, Connie. You are everything to me,” I managed to say between my sobs.She closed her eyes and went to sleep. A few minutes later, she stopped breathing. Never again would she open her eyes and smile. Never again would I hear her sweet voice. Never again would I go to sleep with my arms around the love of my life. She was gone – gone forever – and my life came to an end.* * *Connie’s parents, Sally, and I all made the funeral arrangements together. People always tell you that the events after their spouse’s death were a blur. It’s not an exaggeration. I felt like I wasn’t really present, that things weren’t quite real, and I understood what was happening around me but I didn’t truly understand anything.John came in from Birmingham and he tried to console Sally, but their relationship was too strained for him to offer her much support. That was very unfortunate, because Sally was as devastated as I was. She was a senior in high school and she would be having her 18th birthday in November. This should have been the happiest time of her life. Instead, we were burying her mother and she felt no connection with her remaining parent.Saturday, October 15, 2011The funeral home made reasonable efforts to restore Connie’s final appearance but her illness had changed her too much. In death, she looked very little like she had looked in life. I know that Connie was already gone but I cried once again when the casket lid was closed the final time.There must have been a thousand people at the funeral. Most of the legal community attended. There were at least a hundred people from county government office. Sally’s friends and their families were there. Connie’s family and my family turned out in droves. It was a testament to Connie that so many people were there to pay their respects, but it made the funeral last an agonizingly long time. The reception afterwards was equally painful.Once we got home, I went to our bedroom – now “my” bedroom – to change while Sally went to her bedroom. Once I was dressed more casually, I went to Sally’s room to check on her. The door was closed, so I knocked.”Come in,” Sally invited me.As I opened the door, Sally was buttoning the final button on her shirt. She walked over to me and gave me a hug.”I know that, every now and then, I’ve called you ‘Daddy.’ I hope you don’t mind. I know you’re not my biological father but you’re my Daddy.” Sally sighed, then continued, “It might sound weird, but . . . before the funeral, I kept thinking she was going to come back, you know, somehow, like magic, but . . . she’s gone. I’ll never see her again.””Honey,” I responded, “I’m very happy to have you call me ‘Daddy’ because that’s how I feel. You don’t need to decide anything right away, but I want to let you know that I talked to your father and I asked him to allow you to stay with me so you could finish your senior year down here and not have your life disrupted even more. Of course, if you want to go live with him . . ..””No!” Sally quickly interjected. “I want to stay here.””Okay. That’s what I was hoping. Anyway, at first your dad said he’d think about it and then I said something to him to convince him and he finally agreed.””What’d you say?” Sally asked.”Actually, it’s protected by the attorney-client privilege and I can’t reveal it, but I can tell you that it was about something your dad did that wasn’t i*****l but would probably be embarrassing to him if his parents learned about it. I don’t threaten other folks like that very often, but this was an exceptional case.””Thank you, Daddy!””Now, that’s what I did for you. Here’s what you can do for me. Tomorrow or the next day, your grandparents will carefully bring up the subject of you coming to live with them. I know that they mean well but I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to live with them, but if I’m the one who shoots down the idea, they might get mad at me, so you need to speak up and tell them that you want to stay here, okay?””Sure, Daddy. You’re the best.”That night, around 11:30, Sally came into my bedroom without knocking. “I can’t sleep, Daddy. Can I sleep in here with you?””No, honey. I know you don’t mean anything by wanting to sleep in here but other folks, maybe Grandma or Grandpa, might think we were doing something we’re not supposed to do, you know, they might jump to the wrong conclusions and try to interfere. You know, I don’t have any right to legal custody of you and it’s entirely up to your father, until you turn 18, so we need to try to keep everybody happy. I’m sorry, but you understand, right?””Okay,” she answered.”How about if I take you back to your bedroom and tuck you in and stay with you a few minutes? Sally normally slept in just a t-shirt and her panties but she was using pajamas while we had other folks in the house. Hopefully, if Grandma or Grandpa saw us, they wouldn’t think it meant anything funny . . . and it really didn’t. I was a father comforting his daughter.We returned to her bedroom and Sally climbed into bed. She turned over on her side, facing away from me. I lay down on top of the covers and she reached back, grabbed my hand, and pulled my arm over her so that I could hold her close to me.”Good night, Daddy,” she said. Fatigue was obvious in her voice and I thought she would be asleep soon. She was, and I returned to my bed.Sunday, October 16, 2011When I awoke, I got up, got dressed, and went downstairs to make breakfast for Sally, her grandparents, and me.As I had predicted, at the end of our breakfast, Grandma started talking about Sally coming to live with her and Grandpa. Sally quickly put an end to that idea, telling Grandma that she wanted to finish school with all of her friends here and then she added, possibly fabricated, a comment that Connie had promised her she could stay in Gainesville to finish her school. Sally also reminded Grandma that she had promised Connie that she would take care of me. Grandma asked why Sally wasn’t going to live with John and Sally quickly answered, ‘because he doesn’t want me.’ Grandma didn’t put up much of a fight and Sally staying with me was quickly accepted as a done deal.With that detail resolved, Grandma decided that she and Grandpa would pack up and drive home. A few hours later, we were waving goodbye. A few months earlier, I had been glad to see them come but I was even happier to see them go.John came by to see Sally and their meeting was brief. Sally didn’t tell me any of the details and I never asked.I told Sally that she and I could rent a motel room on the beach for the week but, after that, she would need to return to school. She agreed to that proposal.* * *A week on the beach was just what we needed. It was still warm enough to enjoy the sun during the day and Sally worked on her tan while I admired how she was becoming a woman. Every day, we talked about Connie . . . and we cried, but . . . every day, we cried a little less.Monday, October 24, 2011Sally returned to school and I returned to work. I now had two associates working for me and they carried most of the work load, while my role shifted to performing more of the executive functions, such as deciding which cases to accept, determining litigation strategies, and handling settlement negotiations.I tried to balance my time between devotion to work and devotion to Sally. She was an excellent student and she quickly made up for the time she had missed in school. Before her mom’s illness, Sally had not dated in a few months. After Connie died, Sally showed no interest in relationships with boys and I didn’t push the issue with her. I trusted her to know when she was ready.I fell into a routine of going to work, coming home ahead of the evening rush hour traffic, preparing a meal for Sally, cleaning the kitchen, and then having a couple of rum and cokes. I thought about Connie every day and I missed so many things that she had done. With everything that I did around the house – especially with the simple things, like putting towels in the laundry and setting out clean towels – I thought that this was one more thing that Connie had done routinely, without fail, without complaint, and even without comment. It was just something that she did that made my life easier.I wondered about how long I would obsess over her death and I wondered if Sally was having a similar reaction. I talked to Sally a few times but I had the impression that she didn’t want to talk and I simply let her know that I was available whenever she did want to have some conversation about her mother.Saturday, December 10, 2011Today was Sally’s 18th birthday. We had discussed her birthday and she was not very interested in having a party or celebrating other than having dinner with me. I took her to the club and surprised her with a few of her female friends waiting for her. We had a wonderful dinner and a birthday cake and, apparently, it was exactly what she had really wanted, even though she hadn’t been able to tell me.Sunday, December 11, 2011I realized that we should get away from home and at least try to avoid the most obvious reminders of Connie’s absence during the holidays in December. I suggested a ski trip to Colorado and Sally was reasonably excited about the idea. I booked a nice cabin with 2 bedrooms and an indoor hot tub near Telluride.Saturday, December 17, 2011Sally and I got up early, caught a flight to Atlanta and them made a connection to Denver. We rented a car to make the drive to Telluride. We would need to spend a night in a hotel somewhere along the way because I didn’t want to be driving in the mountains, in the winter, at night.We made it as far as Glenwood Springs and got a room in a nice but older motel. We put our suitcases in the room and then went out to find dinner. We settled on an Italian restaurant and had a good meal, then returned to the hotel.Sally announced that she was going to take a shower and she disappeared into the bathroom while I began surfing through the channels on the television. After about 20 minutes, she emerged, dressed in her usual sleeping attire. The room had two queen beds and Sally took the bed closest to the bathroom while I took my turn sudsing and rinsing away the daily grime.I pulled on a pair of boxers before stepping out of the bathroom. I settled into my bed and suggested that we needed to get to sleep so we could get an early start in the morning.As soon as the lights were off, I felt Sally sliding into my bed and under the covers. I was lying on my back and Sally was lying on her side, facing me, somewhat d****d over me so that her right knee was resting on the mattress between my two knees and her right arm was lying across my chest.”Daddy, I know why we’re here, I know how tough this has been for you, and I know how hard you’ve tried to make my life easier. You’re not even my real daddy so I know you really don’t have to do any of this at all. You could have sent me to live with my father or with grandma and grandpa . . . but you didn’t. There’s only one reason for you to do all of this, and that’s because you love me. I get it . . . and I know how lucky I am to still have you in my life. I’ve been sort of lost the past few months but I feel myself pulling out of it and I’m going to try to do a better job of taking care of you, just like I promised Mom.”As soon as she finished saying that, she leaned over and kissed me on the lips. It was not a wet, slobbery, tongue probing kiss. It was a simple, chaste kiss, but it was on the lips. Sally had always kissed me on the cheek but I didn’t want to make too much of a simple thing that may have meant absolutely nothing.”I do love you, Sally. At one time, you and your mom together were my world. Now it’s just you, and you – you alone – are my world. I know that’ll end when you go off to college next fall, but, until then . . . you are everything to me.””I love you, too, Daddy!” she responded, immediately followed by a quick and presumably platonic kiss on the lips. She then slid from beneath the covers and returned to her bed.Sunday, December 18, 2011When I woke up the next morning, Sally was in my bed and spooned up against me. I had my arm around her and I could smell the fragrance of her shampoo in her hair. It was the same shampoo that her mother had used and, before I opened my eyes, I had this momentary thought that Connie had come back to me. For a moment, I felt exhilarated. Then I opened my eyes and I realized that it was Sally in my arms, not Connie.I quickly extricated myself from the bed and went to the bathroom to pee and to wash my face. My heart was still racing from having the thought that Connie had returned. I needed to calm down and I certainly couldn’t let Sally know what she had caused. There was no need to have her feel guilty about what had happened.A few minutes later, Sally woke up and got dressed. We packed up and got underway, arriving in Telluride around lunchtime.After checking in at a main office, we drove another mile to the cabin. Like many of the other cabins in the area, it was an A-frame and it looked like it had been built recently. It was on the side of the mountain and the view was spectacular.Inside, the cabin was immaculate. There was a kitchen, dining room, and great room downstairs and three bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom had a private bathroom while the other bedrooms shared a common bath. The hot tub was in the master bathroom and it was large enough to easily accommodate 6 people.We unloaded the car and got settled into our rooms. We agreed that it was probably too late to try to get on the ski slopes and decided to drive to the grocery store to stock up on provisions for the week. Since Sally was now 18 and would not be driving this week, I decided to allow her to have some wine at home, so I got a few bottles of a sweet wine which I thought she might like.When we returned to the cabin, I put a bottle of wine in the refrigerator and started dinner. While I was preparing the salad, Sally stood in the kitchen to talk to me.”What would you like to do tonight, my little princess?” I inquired.”Well, I thought maybe we could have a few glasses of wine with dinner and then get in the hot tub,” she responded.”Okay,” I said. “That sounds like a plan.”Our steaks were very good and Sally seemed to enjoy the sauterne. On the other hand, I preferred my scotch and had a few shots that I drank straight. We were both feeling a bit tipsy after dinner and decided to see if the dishes might clean themselves if we left them alone long enough.”Ready for the hot tub?” Sally asked.”Sure,” I replied. “Just let me pour another scotch first. Do you want another glass of wine?””Why not?” was her response.I poured us each another drink and we went upstairs. Sally went to her bedroom to change and I went into the master bedroom. I was pulling up my swim trunks when Sally walked in. I don’t know if she saw anything of my body but, if she did, she didn’t give me any clue that she had.Sally was in a little bikini that barely made her legal. Initially, I said nothing about the bikini, and I just climbed into the hot tub. Sally followed and she sat next to me instead of across from me.”Remind me to burn that bikini when we get home,” I said.”What’s wrong, Daddy? Don’t you like it?” she asked.”I like it, but . . . I think any other guy that sees you in that will want to rip it off your body and do . . . who knows what?!” I exclaimed. “Well, I guess you do know what, don’t you?””Well, I’m glad you like it, Daddy. I promise I’ll wear it only when I’m around you, okay?””Okay, but . . .,” I trailed off.”But what, Daddy?” she asked.”Honey, I don’t want to make you feel bad, but . . . seeing you like that reminds me of your mother, because you look just like her, and . . . I’m really missing her now.”Sally swiveled around so that she was straddling my lap, facing me, and she placed her arms on my shoulders, bringing our faces close together.”Daddy, Mom told me to take care of you after she was gone. Do you need me to . . . take care of you?” Sally asked so sweetly.”Sweetie-pie, are you asking me . . . offering me what I think you’re offering me?” I responded.”Daddy, Mom told me to take care of you. She told me that several times in public and the last time was on her last day. Before that . . . a few times, she told me in private, and she was a bit more explicit. When she knew she was dying, Mom and I talked about sex. She told me that you had been a wonderful lover for her and that you satisfied her completely.””I felt the same way about her,” I said, “but I’m a little bit surprised that she had that conversation with you.””She asked me if I was still a virgin, and I told her that I was. I don’t have my hymen because I broke that myself a few years ago, but I’ve never had sex with a guy. Mom told me that my first time should be with somebody special, like you.””I didn’t know that you were . . . I mean, I kind of thought so, but . . . I didn’t want to be a naïve dope, either, so . . .” I was a bit flustered talking to Sally about her virginity.”It’s okay to talk about it, Daddy. I’m still a virgin, but I think I’m ready, and I do want my first to be someone special . . . like you. In fact . . . not just like you . . . I want it to be you.””Honey, you can’t imagine how flattered I am, but . . . but I’m your Daddy,” I said.”Yes, of course you’re my ‘Daddy,’ but you’re not my biological father, and I’m over 18 now, and there’s nothing i*****l about it, or . . ..””But what would your Mother say?” I asked.”Here’s what Mom said to me a few months before she . . . before she died. She said, ‘Sally, you’ll never find a better man than Tom. I know he’s older than you but he can make you happy and, if you can make him happy, too, then . . . once you’re 18, you have my blessings and I hope you two can be happy together.’ Daddy, you know Mom would never say anything as explicit as, ‘Sally, when I’m gone, fuck your Father real good, okay?’ tuzla içmeler escort But she did tell me, in her own way, to try to be the woman you needed.” “I’m in shock!” I said. I didn’t disbelieve Sally. I trusted her absolutely and, if she said that she and Connie had that conversation, then they must have had that conversation. Still, it was incredible that Connie would give her daughter permission to approach me in such a way.”If you don’t want me, tell me, Daddy. I’m not trying to force myself on you . . . but I do want you . . . to take my virginity.”As soon as those words left her lips, she reached behind her torso and found the clasp for the top of her bikini. In one quick movement, it was off of her and flying through the air, landing in the bathtub across the room.I looked down at Sally’s chest. It was beautiful. Like her mother, her breasts were small, but they were pert and firm. Her nipples were erect, confirming my assumption that Sally was sexually aroused. They stood out like little pencil erasers. Her areolas were about the size of a quarter, a light reddish-brown color, and smooth.”I guess I inherited my tiny boobs from Mom,” Sally said.”Oh, honey, you don’t have anything to apologize for. You’re beautiful and your boobs are . . . wonderful, and . . . very arousing. The first time I saw your mother naked, she was very self-conscious about her boobs but I absolutely loved them and I spent a lot of time . . . well, I never let them feel neglected. I don’t know if you ever saw your mom’s boobs, you know, once you were old enough to remember, but . . . yeah, your boobs are little just like your mom’s boobs and, in fact . . . they look just like your mother’s . . . and they’re just . . . perfect!””Mom told me that you liked to lick on her nipples and that it always made her feel real good down in her private area, you know,” Sally confided. “Do you wanna lick on my nipples, Daddy?””Sweetie, you’re beautiful, but . . . there’s something about this that just doesn’t . . . doesn’t feel right.”Sally backed away from me and, for a moment, I thought she intended to get up and run away. Instead, she slowly stood up, put her thumbs inside the waist of her bikini bottom, and pushed it down until she could step out of it. She then bent over, retrieved it from the bottom of the hot tub, and threw it towards the bathtub.When Sally stood up, the water line was even with the bottom of her cute little behind. She turned around and her naked, shaved pussy was less than two feet in front of me. Her pussy was a simple slit which hid the rest of her feminine downstairs apparatus. Her lips did not protrude and her crotch looked extremely smooth, extremely lickable. As my mind entertained that last thought, I could feel myself getting harder than I already was.Sally then returned to her previous position, facing me while straddling my lap. “I want you to be my first, Daddy, and I want to make you happy. I want you to feel right with me and, if it doesn’t happen now, I want it to happen soon. . . . And when it happens, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, I promise.”Sally leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. This time, it was not a borderline, questionable, friendly little kiss. It was a wet, probing tongue, filled-with-passion kiss.I pushed her away. I was feeling a mix of emotions and I told her.”I need you to listen to everything I have to say . . . no interruptions. When I’m done, you can say whatever you want, and I’ll listen. First, there is a part of me that wants to give in to you and make love with you right now. Part of what’s going on with me is I want to feel loved and part of it is just pure and simple a****l lust. You are a beautiful girl and I would love to make love with you.””I’m also feeling guilty about the fact that I do want you. It feels kind of disloyal to your mom for me to even feel this way so soon. I loved your mother and the thought of being disloyal to her hurts me. I just can’t do that.””I’m also thinking about you, honey. Your first time should be with somebody who you know wants you just because of you. Aren’t you going to be wondering if I want you because of you or whether I want you because you remind me of your mother?””And I’m also wondering whether I’ll lose you as my daughter if you take on a new role in my life. I can’t handle any more losses now. I know you understand that. There’s just so much going on in my head right now! . . . Okay, now you can say whatever you want.””I love you, Daddy. I’ll never stop loving you, Daddy. I want to give myself to you completely . . . and I don’t feel guilty, because I’m doing what Mom told me to do, so . . . whenever you want me, I’m yours. And I know that you want me, because I can feel you’re hard. I’m going to sleep in your bed tonight and I’m going to be naked. If you want to just sleep, then we’ll just sleep. If you want to do more, then we’ll do more. And I’ll love you no matter what happens.””Wow,” I said. “It feels kind of weird to be saying this to the naked girl in my arms, but you’re the best daughter ever! If it’s what your mom wanted, then . . . when it feels right to me, you won’t be able to keep me away from you.””Let’s go to bed, Daddy.”We got out of the hot tub and dried off. Sally, as she had hinted earlier, had no intention of putting on any clothes. She walked into the bedroom and began turning down the covers.”I want to be on this side of the bed,” she said, pointing to the left side, and she slid in. “When you take off that swim suit . . . I wouldn’t feel quite so rejected if you’d get in bed naked with me.””I don’t know,” I said.Sally got out of bed, came over to me, wrapped her arms around my chest, and gave me a hug. “I’m going to take care of you, Daddy,” she said. She knelt in front of me, untied the drawstring in my swim suit, and pulled it down until it was around my ankles. Without waiting for her request, I stepped out of it and she put it in the sink.I was standing totally naked before my step-daughter and she was fully exposed to me. My member was getting hard again and, as Sally moved in to put her arms around me, my dick got stuck in the “up” position between us.”Don’t worry,” she whispered in my ear, “I’m not going to **** you. But if you want to jump on me, your advances will be welcomed.”She took my hand and led me to the right side of the bed, then she pulled back the covers. I climbed in and she walked around to her side of the bed, joining me between the sheets. I was on my back and she snuggled up to me and laid her head on my shoulder.”Whenever you’re ready . . . I’ve been on birth control for the past 2 years, so don’t worry about making babies, just worry about making love.” She paused and then rolled over on her left side. “Snuggle up and put your arm around me,” she told me.I did what she requested and she then pulled my hand to her right boob. “Don’t be afraid to feel, Daddy; it’s all for you.”I cupped my hand around her cute little breast and said, “I used to think you were an amazing girl, but now I realize that you’ve become an amazing woman,” I said. “By the way . . . your nipple’s hard.””Yeah, and . . . by the way, your dick’s hard,” she said.”It’s your fault. You’re beautiful, you’re in my bed naked, and you have my dick trapped between your buns.””Wake me up if you want to do something about it,” she replied. The tone of her voice suggested that she was through talking for the night.”I love you, Sally. Good night.”My dick was as hard as it’s ever been but I felt so . . . conflicted. I know that may not sound like a manly thing to say. You might be thinking, ‘if he’s a real man, he’d just fuck the shit out of her!’ My wife – the wife who I truly, truly loved – had died just two months earlier. The hot looking teen in my arms was my daughter, not my biological daughter, but the girl who I had raised the past five years, the one who called me ‘Daddy,’ the one who trusted me to take care of her whenever she needed help or protection. Any man with a conscience would have felt conflicted.Any man with testicles would have also felt extremely horny. My right hand was feeling a hard nipple sitting atop a magnificent little teenaged titty attached to a beautiful, naked little teenaged body. My dick was trapped between the tight buns of a little teenaged ass. That clean shaved little teen slit was just inches away from my purple invader and it had been months since I had enjoyed sex with another person.I tried to convince myself that, if I did not make love with Sally, she would feel rejected; therefore, I would be doing her a big favor by taking her virginity. It didn’t take long to realize how bogus that sounded. If Connie had told Sally to pursue me, maybe that was really what Connie wanted and maybe I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Maybe it was better for Sally to learn about love from me than from pimply-faced idiot who didn’t know how to please, or how to even appreciate, a woman.My thoughts continued to chase themselves like an ouroboros and, eventually, a simple organic compound called ethanol – simple alcohol – made the decision for me. I drifted off to sleep with my arms around a naked teen angel.* * *Everything was hazy, but I was in a large room which appeared to be constructed entirely of large stones. In the middle of the room was an altar, also made of stone. A young girl was tied to the altar, spread eagle, but covered in layers of sheer white silk. As I approached her, I could see that the girl on the altar was Connie. A figure emerged from the peripheral shadows and I could see that it was another female. She, also, was Connie. When I looked back at the girl on the altar, she was now Sally. The other figure approached and pulled back the silk coverings, exposing the naked virgin orifice between Sally’s legs. “You must do it,” Connie said. “She must make a sacrifice to you, and then she will be set free.” I nodded my head in assent and I began to unbuckle my belt so that I could lower my pants. Connie waved her hand and suddenly I was naked. I placed the tip of my hard manliness at the entrance to the young nubile’s love tunnel and I began to push inward.I awoke with a start. I was still spooning with Sally and had started to thrust into her butt cheeks. I abruptly stopped and I heard Sally complain, “Why’d you stop? It was just getting started.””I just woke up. I guess I was humping you in my dreams,” I explained.”Then go back to sleep and dream some more, ’cause it felt real good,” Sally responded.I backed away from Sally and tugged on her shoulder to get her to roll over. When she did, I put my arm around her and held her naked body tightly against me. My right hand was in the small of her back and my mouth found her lips. I immediately began giving her a passionate kiss. I broke away from kiss to tell her, “I want you. I need you . . . now.”I lowered my mouth to her left breast and began licking on her nipple. It hardened instantly and I heard a little whimper escape from her throat. My fingers dropped below her waist and quickly found her simple slit. I pushed my finger against the length of her slit very lightly and then began moving it up and down.”That feels good, Daddy,” she said. “Keep doing that.”I continued to stroke her slit while I sucked even harder on her nipple. Her pussy was becoming wet with her arousal and the lubrication allowed me to find her swelling clit and to begin stroking it in small, light, and steady circular movements. When I heard her becoming even more aroused, I moved my hand down and pushed my middle finger inside her virgin vagina.”Oh gawd, Daddy. You’re going to make me cum!” she exclaimed.I quickly found the spongy area on the front wall of her vagina and rubbed in circles. Sally had a G-spot and it was quick to respond to stimulation.”So close . . . Daddy!” she moaned. She was trying to thrust her pelvis up off the bed and against my hand.”Oh, yeah! Yeah! Right there!” she loudly proclaimed. Her body thrust upward and then locked in an arch as I felt peristaltic waves of contractions running through the muscles surrounding her pussy. I assumed that Sally masturbated but I didn’t know how much experience she had with having strong orgasms, so I stopped my ministrations and allowed her to come down from the peak of her arousal.Her torso relaxed and fell back to the mattress. “Do it to me now, Daddy.” she begged.I got between her legs and placed the tip of my dick against her pussy. I pushed in and it felt as if a wet fist had grabbed my dick with no intentions of ever letting go. I continued pushing in until I knew I could go no further.”You’re so tight, Sally, so hot, so wet, so . . . gawd I love the way you feel!” I told her.As I began pulling back from the depths of my penetration, I could feel her hard nipples brushing against the hairs on my chest. As the tip of my meat neared the entrance to her tight pussy, I reversed course and began pushing back in.”Daddy, it feels so good! Do it harder!” she requested.I wanted Sally to cum so hard that she would never forget her first time, so I gave her what she asked for. I began pumping in and out of her pussy hard . . . and I knew I wouldn’t last long.”You’re so tight! I’m going to cum soon! . . . going to cum in your little virgin pussy!” I moaned.I could hear the arousal in her labored breathing and I knew she would cum again very soon.”I’m close, Daddy. Cum in me! Oh, Daddy, cum in my . . . oh, gawd, cum in my pussy!” she screamed.I felt the pressure building behind my testicles and then it released and began surging down the length of my dick. “Here it comes, honey!” I warned her.She began thrusting her pelvis against me and then she exploded. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” she cried. “Oh, fuck me!”I continued thrusting until I had emptied the last drop of cum from my member an I felt my dick getting soft. Sally had her arms around my chest and she held her body against me as I made some effort to pull out of her.”Stay inside me, Daddy, just for a while,” she begged. “It feels so good!”I stayed where I was. “I’ve never cum that hard in my entire life,” I told her. “You are so tight, so hot, so wet!” I told her.”I hope we do it again . . . real soon!” she responded. She loosened her arms from around my torso and I pulled out. I lay beside her and placed my right arm over her chest. “Daddy, that was the best!”She rolled over so her back was against my chest and we were spooned together. Within a few minutes, we were both asleep.Monday, December 19, 2011I woke up with a beautiful, young, naked girl in my arms and it took a minute to realize that what had happened the night before was not just a very pleasant dream. Sally had given her virginity to me and I had tried to show her how a man loves a woman instead of how a horny boy fucks the first available and willing pussy.I was on my back and she rolled over and placed her head on my shoulder and her leg was d****d over mine. I reached behind her and lightly stroked her back several times before I allowed my fingers to come to rest in the small of her back.”Last night was everything I hoped it would be,” Sally said quietly. “I feel different now. I don’t mean different . . . down there, you know, but I mean I feel different inside, like . . . like now I’m a woman and not a little girl, and I’ll never be a little girl again.””You felt divine, my dear, you felt incredibly wonderful . . . and you made me feel terrific, so appreciated. But . . . how do you feel about me now? What do you want from your Daddy today and tomorrow and next week?” I empathetically queried.”Well, I don’t know about tomorrow or next week, but . . . today . . . this morning . . . right now . . . I’d like to do it again!” Sally said with enthusiasm. “I’ve never done it before but . . . I saw some stuff about sex in movies, and . . . I want to try being on top!”Sally reached down and wrapped her fingers around my dick. I had started the very beginnings on an erection while we were laying there talking, but her fingers were causing a much quicker response.”Daddy, you’re thing’s getting hard again. That means I’m going to need to put it inside me to keep it safe, okay?” She giggled.”You can put it in you whenever you want,” I said.Sally slid down in the bed so that her face was in my crotch. “I’ve only seen this in movies, so tell me if I do it wrong,” she said immediately before she lowered her mouth onto my meat and closed her lips around my hard member.She began moving her mouth up and down on my rod while licking and sucking at the same time. Meanwhile, I guess the arousal of the situation was having its effect on her because she straddled me and began humping my leg while she was delivering her oral pleasures.I was hard and it would have been easy to simply lie there and allow myself to empty my seed into her mouth, but that’s not what I wanted. That’s not what she wanted. She wanted to be on top.”Honey, get on top of me now. I might not last much longer,” I warned her.She removed my dick from her mouth and moved up so that her knees were straddling my hips. She lifted up and took my meat in her hands, pointing it at the opening to her wet slit.As she lowered herself onto my stiff manhood, I felt it plowing through the warm, wet folds of her vagina until I was completely inside of her. She stopped at that point and leaned forward so that her nipples were in my face.”Do you want to lick my little boobies, Daddy?” she teased me seductively.”Those are sexy little boobies and I want to suck them ’til they’re good and hard!”I took her right nipple between my lips and sucked like my life depended on it. My left hand found her other nipple and used it as an erotic plaything, caressing and stimulating it until it was as hard as a little pebble.After a few seconds of that, I felt Sally begin to thrust up and down on my turgid pole. She had already been aroused before she impaled herself on me and I knew she wouldn’t last long.”Do you want me to cum inside you?” I asked.”Yes, Daddy!” she instantly replied.”Where do you want me to cum?” I prompted her.”I want you to cum in my pussy, Daddy. I want your cum in my little pussy.”That was all it took to set the wheels in motion. I felt the familiar surge of pressure behind my balls, followed by the sensation of my cum rushing towards the tip of my dick.”Here it is, baby. I’m going to cum in your pussy!” I said.I felt my dick begin to shoot my cum into her and, as soon as she felt my cum in her, Sally started cumming.”Oh yeah, Daddy! Feels so good! Oh gawd!” she moaned as she gasped for breath. I pumped into her hot little love box until I felt that all of my cum had been delivered. Her thrusts slowed down and I felt the last few drops of my seed being sucked into her little teenaged pussy. She stopped thrusting and laid forward so that her chest was against mine, her hard nipples trapped against my body.”Daddy, we can’t ever stop doing this,” she said.”Well, maybe we can’t do it 24/7, but we can do it every morning and every night if that’s what you want,” I answered her, “at least until you go off to college.””I don’t want to think about that, Daddy! Let’s take a shower and have breakfast,” she suggested.”Together or sep . . ..””Together, of course,” she interrupted me.We got in the shower and I played with her nipples after applying a liberal amount of soap. When it looked like she wanted more, I slid my hand down to her clit and pulled her body against mine as I massaged her love button.”I feel you dick against my behind, Daddy. It feels . . . funny, kind of . . . in a good way.”Before long, Sally was cumming as I mauled her left boob and massaged her pussy with my right hand. After she had come down from her orgasm, she turned around and kissed me. “I love you, Daddy.””I love you, too, sweetie.”* * *We actually did get onto the ski slopes later that morning and I truly enjoyed spending time with my little nymph. She was very athletic and a better skier than me but I did what I could to keep up with her. We stopped for lunch and a rest and then returned to the slopes in the afternoon.We had a nice dinner and then returned to our cabin.”Sweetie, is there anything else you’d like to do tonight?” I asked.”Well, Daddy . . . since you’re my teacher, I think we need to have another lesson tonight. Let’s start with some wine and the hot tub.”I poured a glass of wine for Sally and a scotch for myself and we both got in the hot tub naked. Sally settled in sitting next to me. After a few minutes of quiet sitting and paying homage to our libations, Sally suddenly got in my lap, straddling my knees, facing me.”Daddy, when we were in the shower and you were so hard and it poked me between the buns, it felt, I don’t know, like electricity was running from my pussy to by boobs. When Mom talked to me about sex, she explained about anal sex, but . . . that’s not the same thing as actually having the experience. She said she didn’t have much experience with it before she met you and that you showed her that it could feel good, so . . . she said don’t be afraid to try things that are new or things that sound different, and . . . she said sometimes, anal sex was a good substitute if she didn’t feel like she wanted regular sex.””Your mom was a wonderful lover and a wonderful companion and . . . that was one thing that we enjoyed together, but it requires a woman to really trust her partner because it puts you in a really vulnerable position and a guy could really abuse it if he wanted to.””Is that something that you want to do with me, Daddy?” Sally asked, almost as innocently as if she were inquiring about whether I wanted dessert after dinner.”Sometime, if it’s something that you want to do, I sure it would be enjoyable for me and I hope it would be for you, too, but . . . there are other things we should do first,” I admitted.”Like what, Daddy? What should we do next?””I think we should try some different positions. We’ll do doggy style tonight and you’ll probably like that. It’ll let me penetrate you pretty deep. But first, I want to watch you masturbate.”At age 18, Sally was rather uninhibited, at least with me. “Okay, here or in bed?””Why don’t we get in bed?” I asked rhetorically.We got out of the hot tub, dried off, and pulled back the covers on the bed. Sally got on her side of the bed, stretched out, and started playing with her nipples. Her eyes were closed and she looked as if she had blocked the rest of the world from intruding on her special time. As soon as her nipples were hard, she allowed her right hand to drift down towards her cute little pussy. As soon as her hand was between her legs, she began rubbing little circles around her clit.She dipped her middle finger into her pussy to get some of her juices, and then she returned it to her clit where it started working faster. “Daddy,” she moaned, “you’re not supposed to ever see this!”Sally moved her left hand down to assume responsibility for her clitoral explorations and her right index finger immediately plunged inside of her wet slit.”I need to cum, Daddy! I wanna cum for you!” she cried.”You’re so fucking hot, baby. Daddy’s sexy little girl! Cum for me!” I begged her.”Daddy, help me!” she requested.I was standing by the side of the bed and I knelt down and placed my right hand on her left boob and began playing with her nipple. Meanwhile, I had wrapped my left hand around her left butt cheek and the tip of my middle finger came to rest at the edge of her anal ring. As soon as my finger touched her skin, I felt her butt clench and she lifted up off the bed. I kept my hand in place as she began experiencing her orgasm.”Oh, Daddy! Daddy! I want you in me!” I could feel her ass having contractions that matched the spasms she was experiencing in the rest of her body, and then it all began to recede.”Oh, Daddy! I need . . . a minute.”I lay beside her and put my hand on her boob, playing with her nipple while she tried to catch her breath.”That was so hot!” I said. “You got me so hard! When you’re ready, I need to be inside you.””Daddy, I never knew . . . never knew it would feel . . . so, wow!””Sweetie, this is the difference between fucking and making love. When a guy wants to fuck you, he just wants to have his orgasm and he doesn’t care too much about satisfying you, but, when a guy loves you, he wants to see you have just as much fun as him because . . . because it makes a guy feel great to know that he’s the one who does it for you.””I love you, Daddy. Mom was right about you, and I’m glad she told me that I should do this, because . . . I wouldn’t have done it.””Are you good to go now?” I asked.”Sure . . .. Bring it on!” she replied.”Get up on your hands and knees,” I instructed her.She got in the position and then requested confirmation, “Like this?” Obviously, she was very inexperienced.”When I’m like this, it feels so . . . open and like . . . exposed . . . and . . . Daddy, you can see my little butt hole back there, can’t you?” she asked.”Yes, honey, I see it but I’m not going to try to have sex with you back there. Now,” I said as I positioned myself behind her, “reach between your legs and grab me and guide me into you,” I requested.I felt her hand reach around the tip of my meat and lift me up until I felt the wetness of her pussy lips. I began to push in and Sally guided my meat as I plunged into the depths of her womanhood. I didn’t go slow and I didn’t stop until I felt I had bottomed out inside of her pussy. “Daddy, stop,” she asked me.”I’m already stopped, honey. I’m in you as far as I can go.””Just let me get used to it. It feels so full!” she exclaimed.After a few seconds, I began to slowly thrust in small, slow strokes, gradually increasing the strokes until I was almost pulling out before thrusting back into Sally’s tight pussy.”Daddy! Daddy!” she screamed. “I’m so close!”I reached beneath her and tweaked her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. “Unhhh! Mmmmm! Oh yeah!” she moaned in pre-orgasmic arousal. I knew the final trick that would push her over the edge. I reached down with my left hand and slid the tip of my index finger down her anal cleft until it came to rest on her little pink pucker. I pushed just enough for her to feel the pressure of my finger tip without causing her to think that I was attempting to penetrate her ass with my finger.As soon as she felt my finger on her little pink butt hole, she started having an orgasm and her anal sphincter started tightening and releasing in waves that matched the waves of contractions that I felt in her tiny little pussy. When I looked down and saw her little butt hole having an orgasm, I started cumming in pulsating waves of intense pleasure.When I felt her orgasm slowing down, I released my hold on her nipple and returned both hands to her hips. I felt that my ejaculation was coming to an end so I plunged in as far as I could go and stayed there, backing in the warmth and wetness of Sally’s nubile pussy as it ensheathed my male organ.For a minute or two, we both remained silent except for the sounds of our labored breathing. As my need for oxygen returned to normal, I felt my dick returning to a flaccid condition and I pulled out of my teen beauty’s tight hole. I flopped down in the bed, to the side of my princess, and she lowered herself to the mattress and turned to face me.”Daddy, does it always feel that good? I mean . . . holy moley!””No, it’s not always like that. There was only one other woman who ever made me feel that way, and that was your mother.””Can we keep doing that forever? I could get addicted real quick,” Sally said.”You might not want it forever, but we can do it as long as you want to keep doing it,” I answered.”Why’d you say that, Daddy? I love you and of course I want you forever.””Honey, if I was 18 years old like you, I’d get down on one knee and propose right now . . . but I’m not. I’m 38 years old. Here in Colorado, with none of your friends around, it feels comfortable to do whatever feels good without caring about what other people think, but, when we go home . . . are you going to tell your friends that you’re having sex with your Daddy? If you do, they’ll tell their parents and then they’ll be told that you and me are perverts and they are to stay away from you. If I tell my friends that I’m having sex with my step-daughter, what do you think their opinion will be?””But Daddy . . ..” Sally tried to interject but I wouldn’t allow her to stop me from saying what I needed to say.”It’s easy to say that you don’t care what you’re friends think but, after 3 or 4 months of not seeing anybody your own age, you’ll get very tired of it. And . . . maybe you’ll say, ‘Daddy, can we go clubbing tonight?’ and I’ll say that I’m too old for that and I don’t want you going because I don’t want you dancing with any other guys. And I’ll ask you if you want to go to a Doobie brothers concert and you’ll say ‘who?’ Of course, there’s the whole college thing, too. You can’t change your plans; you’ve got to go to college or I’ll feel like I’ve ruined your life, and, when you get to college, there will be young people you want to be with and young people activities, and . . . I love you, Sally, and I’d love it if we were both stranded on some idyllic tropical island, but in the real world . . . the deck is stacked against us and the odds of us surviving as a couple are really low, I mean it’s real horrible odds. So, now you can say whatever you want and I’ll listen without interrupting.””I can go to college in Gainesville; it’s not Duke or Emory, but it’s a good school. And we don’t have to tell anybody because it’s none of their business. And we could meet in the middle and do stuff that 30 year old people do. Daddy, I love you and it’s not just the sex. You were the best husband in the world to Mom and you’ve been a wonderful Daddy to me, and if we stay together, we can have babies and you’ll be a wonderful father to my c***dren, and . . . I don’t want to think about letting go of you!”Sally started crying and I put my arms around her. I held her tightly and I fought back the tears myself. “You don’t ever have to let go of me,” I said, “but you’ll probably want to move on in the future, and that’s okay. For now, we have each other, we can enjoy whatever we want to share together, and when it’s over, I’ll know that I’m a better person because I have you in my life.””That sounds sad, Daddy, like you think you can’t count on me,” Sally complained.”No, I can count on you, but I have enough experience to know how things work. We’ll have fun for a while, then you’ll go off to college and meet other guys and you’ll do things that you never did with me – not sex things but, you know, just . . . hanging out things, things we never did because I was so much older. You’ll feel guilty, and then you’ll want to avoid me for a while, and I’ll figure out what’s going on, and then we’ll have a talk and you’ll tell me that you want to see guys your own age, and I’ll say I understand, and then you’ll cry and I’ll hug you – because I’ll always be your Daddy – and then you’ll leave and we’ll probably drift apart and you’ll go on with your life and I’ll go on with my life.””You think we’re doomed, don’t you?” Sally asked.”‘Doomed’ is the wrong word, because it sounds like we’re going to die or suffer some awful calamity. ‘Fated’ is probably the better word. We can enjoy our relationship for some times – maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe even years – but sooner or later, you’ll want something different, somebody younger, somebody who understands what you’re talking about when you mention some band that I’ve never heard of or some movie I’ve never seen. But . . . I’ll always love you, and . . . I’ll always be your Daddy, and . . . if you ever want to come back to me, my arms will be open to give you a hug, so . . . let’s not dwell on this stuff the rest of our vacation. Let’s enjoy what we have while we have it, okay?”Sally looked at me with innocent, longing eyes that pleaded for reassurance. “I love you, Daddy,” she meekly said.”And I love you, Little Miss Sally,” I replied.* * *The remainder of the ski trip consisted of waking up, having sex, talking a shower together and having more sex, having breakfast, skiing, lunch, more skiing, dinner, more sex, and going to sleep.When it came to sex and educating my little step-daughter, Sally was like a rescued puppy. She basked in the attention, she responded to everything I suggested, she didn’t balk at trying anything new or different, and she became even less inhibited in moaning, groaning, and allowing herself to be immersed in waves of orgasmic delight.We had sex in the missionary position. She liked it because my chest hairs tickled her nipples. We had sex in the doggy style position and she liked it because I penetrated her even deeper. She got on top of me and we had mutual oral sex in the standard 69 position. She didn’t hesitate to allow me to cum in her mouth and, in fact, she said she liked the taste of my ejaculate. She gave me hand jobs and I gave her hand jobs. We went to an adult toy store and I bought her a dildo and a vibrator. She enjoyed sitting back on her haunches with the dildo inserted in her wet pussy, pumping up and down while I watched, culminating in her orgasm and getting me so hard that I needed immediate relief.She liked having the vibrator on her clit and she liked having it inside her. On one occasion, I put the vibrator on her clit while I fucked her pussy with the dildo. She moaned and screamed so loud I was afraid someone in the neighboring cabins might call the police. She also liked it when I put the vibrator against her ass and I played with her little titties at the same time.On our last night there, she asked me to show her anal sex. I took my time and gave her several orgasms while we were in the hot tub. I also played with her ass enough to assure myself that she would be thoroughly clean when I gave it more attention. When we got in bed, I had her get in the doggy style position and I fingered her clit while I licked all around her little pink pucker. I then put some lube on the vibrator (it was a little bit smaller than the dildo) and gently pushed that into her behind. As she got accustomed to it, she told me that she was ready. I applied a generous amount of lube to my stiff man meat and put the tip of it against her anus. As I applied gentle pressure, I felt her resistance give way and my hard dick slid into her virgin asshole. The idea of fucking my 18 year-old step-daughter in her virgin ass was almost enough to make me cum immediately but I managed to wait for a while. As I continued to plunge into her most forbidden and naughty orifice, I told her to start playing with her clit. I felt her right hand as it came to rest between her legs and her finger started massaging her love button. I didn’t take much of that before she started cumming and, when I felt the waves of contractions coursing through her forbidden recess, I lost it and started shooting bursts of semen into her bowels. Afterwards, she told me that she felt “dirty” while she was doing it and that added to the thrill of her first anal sex.* * *When we returned home, Sally started sleeping in my bedroom every night, both of us nude and enjoying the feel of each other’s body. Sally didn’t tell her friends about us, of course, and I didn’t tell anyone, either.Doreen asked about the trip and, in retrospect, I think my answers were probably a bit curt, but she seemed satisfied when I told her that we had fun, skied was too much, and it was a good time away for us.The next four months passed so quickly and soon it was time for Sally to attend her senior prom.One of her male friends, Frankie, didn’t have a girlfriend to invite so he asked Sally if she would attend with him and she graciously agreed. I doted on her, gave her the expensive prom dress she wanted, had her hair done at the fanciest salon in town, and rented a limousine for the two of them to share for the night.Saturday, April 21, 2012Doreen volunteered to help Sally with her prom preparations. They were gone all Saturday afternoon. Doreen did not come inside when she dropped Sally off. Sally immediately went upstairs to her bedroom to get dressed and finish the girly-girl efforts.A few minutes before her date was scheduled to arrive, Sally came down the stairs and I saw a vision of loveliness that reminded me too much of her mother. I kissed her on the cheek and told her how beautiful she was and how much I wished her mother was here to enjoy this occasion with us.Her date arrived on time because, of course, I had sent the limo to pick him up at his home. Frankie was a well-mannered young man and I trusted that he would be a gentleman with Sally. I teased him about me owning a shotgun and knowing how to use it and he assured me that Sally would return home safely.Sunday, April 22, 2012 Sally returned home around 1:30 am. I had waited up for her but fallen asleep on the sofa in the family room. We went upstairs and she went to her bedroom to get out of her gown. When she came to my bedroom, she was nude – as I expected – but she was also very quiet. She answered my questions but really didn’t volunteer any information and it was obvious that she was not in a mood to talk.Before she went to sleep, she very quietly said, “I’ve decided to go to Duke.”The room was dark and she couldn’t see my face when she made that statement. I’m sure I looked as if I had just been stabbed in the belly . . . but I never let her know that.”You’ll probably be very happy there,” I managed to respond.I guessed that the evening had given her some insight into all of those things I had said about her wanting to be with people her own age. Perhaps she had realized that, indeed, we were fated to not remain together . . . and maybe this was her way of letting me down easy.Saturday, May 26, 2012John and his girlfriend came to Gainesville for Sally’s high school graduation. She was not valedictorian but she was in the top 5 students in her graduating class. When the announcer called Sally’s name, I thought about Connie and I fought back the tears. John’s girlfriend noticed my reaction and she thought I was just crying because I was a proud daddy.We went to dinner and celebrated and I think we all had a good time together. John assured me that he would be paying for all of Sally’s college expenses but he wanted Sally to maintain a relationship with me. I politely thanked him for that thought, though I’m not sure that he was being sincere when he said it.John and his girlfriend stayed at a motel and I didn’t invite them over to our home. I just didn’t feel like forcing myself to be sociable with a guy who was probably being a phony with me and who had hurt Connie so deeply (even though that is what brought Connie and me together.)When we got home, Sally and I slept got in bed and I put my arms around her and held her tightly. We didn’t make love.Sunday, May 27, 2012Sally told me that she was going to the beach with some of her friends and she would be back late in the afternoon. I spent the day alone. Being alone sucks.Monday, May 28, 2012Sally told me that she wanted to find a job for the summer. I suggested that she could continue to work in my office on a part-time basis and that would give her the maximum flexibility in her schedule and, besides, she and Doreen had become good friends.Sally told me that she needed to feel like she was accomplishing something on her own without thinking that I was just giving her money. I understood that she needed to establish some autonomy but I also thought that she was trying to disentangle our lives and prepare for a major separation in late August.* * *We continued to sleep in the same bed and we made love two or three times a week. Sally told me that she loved me and she was dreading leaving in August, but I didn’t hear dread in her voice. For myself, I felt hurt, because I knew that my prophesy was happening; Sally was slowly pulling away from me.I also knew that Sally needed to separate from me and resume a normal teen life and my paternal instincts wanted to see her grow and become independent. It would be devastating to me, because I loved Sally, and I knew that the only way for her to separate from me was to push me out of her life entirely. I knew that she would leave for college and I might never see her again. She would either stay in Durham or she would go to see her father during college breaks, especially since he was paying the bills. Living through the summer was like watching a train wreck. I saw it happening, almost as if I was seeing it in slow-motion, and I was entirely powerless to alter the course of the events I was witnessing.When August came, Sally started packing things to take to school. Every time we did something – like going to a movie – I wondered if that would be the last time that she and I ever attended a movie together. When we made love, it felt as if it was our last night together, as if I was a condemned man waiting to go to the gallows the next morning in some surreal drama.Friday, August 24, 2012Finally, the weekend arrived. It wasn’t just another weekend, it was the weekend that Sally would go to Durham. She had her own car but I told her that I would accompany her on the trip. She had discussed the weekend with John and he had graciously declined the opportunity to participate.We drove in her car and I had booked a return flight back to Gainesville. When we arrived in Durham, we got Sally checked in to her freshman dorm and got her things unloaded from the car. We looked around campus for a few minutes and then we checked into the motel. We went to the room but didn’t unload the suitcases.I had the perception, or at least the intuition, that Sally was feeling uncomfortable. I tackled the bull by the horns.”I have a feeling that this isn’t easy for you, is it?” I began.”No . . . not at all. It’s not moving away and being on my own, it’s . . . being away from you, Daddy.””I know, it’s awful for me, too,” I lamented.”It didn’t work out the way I thought it would,” she explained.”Sweetie, there are certain things in the human experience that recur time and again. When you get older, you will have witnessed some of those things and you’ll have a sense for what’s going to happen next. Not everybody develops that sense, but, well . . . bright and observant people have it. That’s how I knew. You remember, I told you . . . in Colorado, when it all started, I told you.””I know, Daddy, I love you so much, but . . . when you said those things back in Colorado, I hated you for saying them . . . but only because I was afraid that you were right. I didn’t want it to turn out like this but, you were right, you really don’t fit into my world and I don’t really fit into your world and no amount of love will change that. It blows dead bears!” She laughed a tiny little girl laugh.”It takes more than love to make a relationship work. Sally, I love you like a daughter and I love you as a lover. I know that you can’t go on being my lover and it’s hard to go backwards in a relationship after you’ve been lovers. Maybe, years from now, we’ll be able to do that, but not now. I’m going to hurt too much and . . ..”Sally started crying. I put my arms around her and hugged her like a father consoles his daughter.”It’s not your fault, sweetie,” I said, “and I don’t have any harsh feelings towards you, not at all, but . . . it still hurts. I think part of the hurt is because you remind me so much of your mother and . . . maybe it’s unfair for me to have the relationship with you because you remind me of your mother, but I want you to know that I respect the fact that you are not your mother and I have loved Sally because she’s Sally, and not because she looks like Connie.””I love you, too, Daddy. I love you so much, but . . . I don’t know how to handle this.””There’s no way to handle this, no way that makes sense, no way that avoids hurt. The only thing you can do is to make a clean break and not look back, so . . . here’s what I expect from you. I’m going home and I’m not going to call you. If you want to call me, by all means, call me, but I won’t call you. When you want to go home for holidays, I expect you to visit your father. He hasn’t been a perfect father but he’s the only parent you have and you need to hold on to that relationship, nurture it, and make the most of having a father. If you can’t bear to ever see me again, I’ll understand. I’ll miss you tremendously . . . but I’ll understand.””Daddy, I don’t want to never see you again!” Sally cried.”Sally, we’ve got to either move forward or undo what we’ve done. If you decide that you want to be my wife, I love you and I would try to move mountains to make that work, but . . . if you don’t want me forever . . ..””This isn’t fair!” she said, as teenagers are wont to do.”Nobody promised fair. It’s not fair to me, either, but this is what it is. I will love you and I will want you for the rest of my life, but I know I can’t have you, so . . . what else can we do? We can spend one last night together, and I’m sure it would be wonderful, but . . . tomorrow morning, I’d be wishing for one more night.”I paused and Sally had nothing to say. I didn’t expect her to say anything but I wanted to give her the opportunity.”I need to go down to the car for a minute,” I said, and I turned and walked out of the room.When I got to the car, I got my suitcase. I quickly wrote a note that said, “Sally, I wanted to avoid a tearful goodbye. I’m taking a taxi to the airport. I wish you the best of everything. Please remember that I will always love you and my arms will always be open to welcome you home if that is what you want. Tom.”I walked a few blocks away, called a taxi, and went to the airport. I changed my return flight and had a few hours before my flight left. I found a bar, ordered a scotch, sat in a dark corner booth, and cried. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more, and then I felt numb.When I got home, I drank some more scotch and I cried some more. I went to Sally’s room and looked at the things she had left behind. I took one last good look and then I closed her bedroom door. That door remained closed for many months after that night.Monday, August 27, 2012On Monday, I went in to the office and had a staff meeting with Doreen and my two associate attorneys – Larry and Jim. I announced that each of the attorneys would be receiving more responsibility for the cases that they were handling and that I would be reducing my presence in the office. I promised the associates that their diligence in handling their duties would result in a partnership agreement within the next year.I asked Doreen to remain in my office after I had finished with my associates. “Doreen, I don’t feel well, and having Sally leave has made things worse. That’s why all of this is happening. I never really finished grieving after Connie died and Sally was a very wonderful distraction the past year but . . . now that’s gone and I really expect that she’ll gravitate to her father and I’ll probably never see her again.””Tom, Sally loves you way too much to forget about you,” Doreen tried to assure me.”No, you don’t understand . . .,” I began but I got interrupted.”I just might understand more than you think I do. I’m not blind and Sally got close to me when she worked here. She never told me anything directly but I had the very strong feeling that you two had become much closer and . . . if that’s what happened, you don’t owe me any explanation. I understand exactly how that could happen and I also understand why it would come to an end, and . . . if it didn’t happen, please forgive me for having my suspicions.””You’re a smart lady, Doreen,” I said, indirectly admitting that her suspicions were well-founded. “I feel like, like . . . all the life’s been sucked out of me . . . first the miscarriage and then the cancer and losing Connie and then . . . I’m not really blaming Sally, but . . . I didn’t seduce her. It was the other way around. She reminds me so much of her mother and it felt so good to have that kind of attention from someone so nice, so sweet, so caring . . . and now . . ..””Tom, if you need to retreat for a while, I understand. Larry and Jim are doing a good job so you’ve got the luxury of being able to pull back. But don’t retreat so far that you never find your way back to the starting line. There’s a hell of a lot more of this race to run. And . . . there are other people who care about you.”Doreen stood, walked towards me, and put her arms around my torso. She gave me a hug and said, “You’re a good man, Tom. I know your life will get better . . . eventually. You deserve it.”I managed a smile. “Thanks, Doreen. You’re the best.” I remembered Sally saying that to me sometime on the past year and, inside, I winced.Thursday, August 30, 2012At 9:32 am, I received a text from Sally. “I miss you.”I responded. “I miss you, too.”I waited for the next text, but it never came.* * *Before Thanksgiving, I received another text from Sally. “I’m going to Birmingham for Thanksgiving,” she said.”Okay. Thanks for letting me know,” I replied. Over and out. That’s all, folks. No more nothing.* * *I didn’t get a text before Christmas, so I just assumed that I would not see Sally. I kept hoping, up until about 10:30 pm on Christmas Eve . . . but I was right.I had cut back on my alcohol consumption and was only drinking on the weekends. I should have sold the house, but I didn’t. There were so many things in the house that reminded me of Connie, and things that reminded me of Sally.Tuesday, April 16, 2013Around 8:30 am, my cell phone rang. The caller ID told me that the call was from Sally. I anxiously answered the call.”Hey, Sally. It’s great to hear from you,” I said eagerly.”Hey, Tom. It’s great to talk to you, too. I’ve been real busy with school but the semester’s about to end so it’ll be over soon.””I guess you’re doing very well at Duke,” I said.”Well, I made Dean’s list first semester and I’m hoping to do the same this semester. I’m calling because I’m going to be moving into an apartment with a friend next month and I’m going to stay in school over the summer. Going back to Birmingham isn’t a great thrill for me, so I’m just going to stay in school until I’m finished. Anyway . . . I’d like to get the rest of my stuff out of my bedroom and I was wondering if you’d let me take the bedroom furniture, too.”I was stunned. This was really the last tie that I had to Sally and she was wanting to eliminate the last vestiges of any connection whatsoever.”Sure, honey. Whatever you want. You know . . . when I left you in Durham . . . I was just trying to do what I thought was best for both of us, and . . ..””You were right, Tom, but, uh . . . I’ve got to get to class now. I’m passing through Gainesville next weekend and I’ve got a friend with a truck, so we’ll stop by and get the stuff then, okay? Talk to you later.”Click. Dial tone. Arrow through my heart, and not Cupid’s arrowI was reeling like I had been stabbed in the gut with a very sharp knife. Just when I thought I had adapted to how bad life can become . . . it got worse.At the office, I told Doreen what had happened. She knew what to say and what to do.”You don’t really want to see her, do you? I mean, you don’t want to deal with goodbye and you don’t want to see the friend who has the pickup truck and . . .””Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re right,” I said to Doreen. “But . . . I’ve got to do it. She’ll be here Saturday and I promised her.””I’m going to help you out with this one, Tom, and then you’ll owe me big time, but we’ll talk about the terms of repayment later. Tomorrow, I’m going to come over to your house and we’re going to box up everything that we can. We’ll take the bed apart and we’ll move all the boxes and the furniture down to the garage. When you know what time Sally is coming by, you call me and I’ll come to your house to wait for her. You can leave and go do whatever you want and I’ll call you to let you know when she’s gone.””That sounds great except . . . it sounds like I’m chickening out, running away. It doesn’t sound very good.””Tell me anything good that might come from you seeing Sally on Saturday,” Doreen challenged me.”Well, Sally might see me and have a change of heart and decide to come back here for the summer,” I offered.”Yeah, that might happen,” Doreen admitted, with some emphasis on the word ‘might.’ “And Martians might land in my back yard tonight. Do you want to come over and sit up and wait on them with me?””Yeah, I guess that isn’t going to happen,” I begrudgingly conceded.”And what if it did happen? A few months from now, you’d be going through the same thing again,” Doreen projected.”Yeah, you’re right. Do you think Larry and Jim can handle the office without you tomorrow?” I asked.”They could do it blindfolded,” Doreen assured me.Wednesday, April 17, 2013Doreen came to my house with some banker’s boxes and wardrobe boxes and we spent a few hours packing everything and moving the furniture to the garage. I have a neighbor whose son was home on leave from the Army and the son helped move the furniture. He was a nice k** and I gave the young man a couple of cases of beer for his efforts.Doreen and I were finished by noon and I told her she could take the afternoon off.”Okay, but you’ve got to buy me lunch first,” she replied.I know she was just trying to distract me and keep me from thinking about Sally. Doreen was the best.Saturday, April 20, 2013I got the call from Sally about 9:45 am. She said she would be at the house around 11:00 am. I told her that would be fine. I then called Doreen and she was at my house in fifteen minutes.”Go watch a baseball game at a sports bar or go to the butterfly exhibit or . . . just go get lost,” she said, “and I’ll call you when it’s over.”When I returned home that afternoon, Doreen told me all of the details that she thought I should hear.”Well, of course, the first thing Sally asked about was you. Maybe you didn’t want me to say this but I thought she needed to hear the truth. I told her that you were just too upset over losing her to confront the situation and I had more-or-less ordered you to leave. She asked if you and I had started dating and I looked her straight in the eyes and told her that if you had started dating me, you would already be over her. So then we loaded everything on the truck and it was over in about twenty minutes.””So who was the friend with the truck?” I asked.”The girl she’s sharing the apartment with is Isabella and the ‘friend’ was Isabella’s father,” Doreen said. “They had driven down to Ocala to get Isabella’s stuff and her dad was driving the truck back up to Durham.”If Doreen was telling me a lie, it was a good lie. If what she told me wasn’t the truth . . . I didn’t want to know the truth.”Okay, now let’s go upstairs. I want you to see something,” Doreen said.We went upstairs and she led me to Sally’s bedroom.”What room is this?” Doreen asked.”You know what room it is. It’s Sally’s bedroom!” I answered.”No, it’s the empty bedroom that used to be Sally’s bedroom. Now it’s just an empty bedroom.””Now, show me where Connie is in this house,” she issued her next challenge.”Well, of course, she’s not here physically. Her body’s in the cemetery and her soul is in Heaven . . . but there’re things here that remind me of her.””Sally told me about Connie’s gold sequined dress. I’ll bet every time you see a woman in a gold sequined dress, you’re going to think about Connie, right?” Doreen prompted me.”Well, yeah,” I admitted.”And every time you see some cute little blonde who looks like a real classy lady, you’re going to think about Connie, right?””Yeah. So . . . what’s your point?””Tom, you will always have reminders of your past. You can sell this house, you can stay here and seal off Sally’s old bedroom, you can do whatever you want but you’ll never escape the reminders of the past . . . and that’s okay, because you don’t need to forget the past before you move forwards with your life. It’s okay to start having a life again and still get reminded of Connie or Sally. If you meet somebody new and you start getting involved with them and, all of a sudden, one day, something happens and you’re reminded of Connie . . . that new lady isn’t going to run away from you, not unless she’s a total shithead, in which case you don’t need her.””I don’t want to start dating. Everybody gets taken away from me and it hurts too much!””Yeah, I know all about that. I wasted too many years with that worthless ex-husband of mine and every guy I meet now just wants to get laid. But, you know what, I’m not sitting around crying for myself. Nobody’s going to give you an RSVP that says they’d be delighted to attend your pity party. Damn it, Tom, stop wallowing in it or I’m going to have to kick you in the ass and I really don’t want to have to do something that might cost me the best job of my life.””Thanks, Doreen. However much I pay you, it’s probably not enough,” I said jokingly.”You missed the point, Tom. I’m not doing this because I’m your employee and you pay me. I’m doing this because . . . because of how I feel about you. So open your eyes and start dealing with the rest of the fucking world, okay?!””Yes, ma’am,” I replied in my best Southern boy voice.Friday, October 11, 2013So, as I started out . . . It was a Friday night and I was sitting in my outdoor hot tub, naked and alone. At the moment, I wasn’t drunk. I was nursing a double of straight scotch. My hopes were to drink to the point of inebriation and get out of the hot tub before I passed out, find the bed, and fall into a state of u*********sness.My morose solitude was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Late at night, I knew this wasn’t a pesky solicitor or Mormon missionary or Jehovah’s Witness. ‘Piss on it,’ I thought, ‘I might as well answer the damn door and see who it is.’I exited the hot tub and pulled on a robe. The bell rang again before I could get to the door and I felt a little bit irritated about being interrupted.I opened the door and was greeted by Doreen.”Hi,” she said. “Is there something that you forgot to tell me at the office today, because this really goes above and beyond the call of duty, Miss Doreen,” I said.”Yes and no. I have something to tell you but it doesn’t concern the office. I know you’ve been marinating in your depression and I know that this is the anniversary of Connie’s passing, and that’s why it’s important that I bring you a message tonight. Can I come in?””Sure, yeah. Sorry, I’ve forgotten my manners,” I apologized.Doreen came in and sat on the sofa in the living room. I sat on the other end of the sofa, a respectable distance for friends.”Message from who?” I asked.”I have a message from someone who cared very much about you. Her greatest hope was that you would get over her and get on with your life. She accepted the fact that you weren’t meant to be together for very long; she regretted it but she accepted it. She asked me to make sure that you moved forward with your life and she told me to come over here and kick you in the ass if you didn’t.””That doesn’t sound like Sally,” I said.”It wasn’t. It was Connie,” Doreen said quietly.I was stunned.”When Connie knew that it was just a matter of time, she called and asked me to visit her one day so we could talk in private. She knew she was dying and she said that she didn’t want you to die with her. She was convinced that you would mourn for a very long time. So, she told me that I should wait a respectable length of time and then, if something developed between you and me, we would have her blessing. And even if I wasn’t the one, she told me to kick you in the butt until you started living again. So, here I am.””So she told you to come over here and seduce me?” I asked.”No, of course not. Connie knew that I’ve always had the hots for you . . ..””What?” I asked.”Tom, you must be the stupidest fucker on this planet if you don’t know that I’ve always had the hots for you. Connie wasn’t threatened by it because she trusted you and she trusted me. But . . . Connie liked me, just like I really liked her, and . . . she thought we might be a good match, so she wanted to make sure that her memory wouldn’t interfere with any possibilities of something developing if you ever pulled your head out of your ass and started living again.””Holy shit!” I exclaimed.”She also told me about Sally. She said that Sally had a crush on you and, after she was gone, it wouldn’t take much for you two to connect but, if you did, it wouldn’t last long. She was right. So . . . I’ve been sitting back and waiting and watching, and I guess it’s time for you to stand up and bend over or . . ..””Or what?” I asked.”Or just stand up and see what happens,” Doreen said.What the hell did I have to lose? I didn’t think Doreen would actually kick me, so I stood up. Doreen stood and walked over to face me.”Put your arms around me, Tom,” Doreen instructed me.As I complied with her request, I felt her arms reaching around my chest and hugging me. Doreen looked up at me and smiled. She looked into my eyes and seconds seemed to be minutes. The gaze between us was intense and I couldn’t allow it to continue. I did the only thing I knew how to do under the circumstances.I bent my head down and brought my lips to hers and I gave her a very gentle kiss. It was not a passionate, tongue probing, lovers-being-parted kiss, but it was not a platonic, brother-sister kiss either.When we broke our kiss, Doreen looked at me and said, “Sally loved you in a way that you’ll always remember, and I can’t replace that. I can’t compete with that, but . . . she’s not the only one who can ever love you. If you take a chance with me, I’ll try to never disappoint you.””You really want to get hooked up with a sorry guy who’s always got a black cloud following him around?””I’m here and, if you ask, I’ll spend the night with you. And if you don’t ask, I’m going to feel pretty foolish, but . . . sometimes you’ve just got to take a chance and go for it,” Doreen replied.”I have to warn you. I’ve been told that I snore rather loudly,” I facetiously cautioned her.”And I have a mole on my ass in the shape of Wisconsin,” she teased me.”Really?” I questioned her.”Only one way to find out, so . . . I have an overnight bag in the car. Should I bring it in?” she asked, obviously wanting to end out teasing and get a serious answer to her proposition.”No,” I responded. “I’ll go get it for you.”THE END

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