My Bestfriend Ch. 02
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~~ Authors note: Hey guys so this is the second part of Mary’s story! I highly suggest reading part one first. I don’t know if there will be another chapter though. Thank you to all that took your time and sent feedback, it’s always welcomed!~~
“Hey Dave, so I’m not really sure about everything anymore. As you know Angela and myself have basically been in a relationship you could say since the fall. Now that it’s July and I’ve been here for months, and I don’t know why, but I’m on the fence about this. You know uncle David didn’t raise us like this.”
“Like what Mary?”
“Like this. Like what I’m doing, like what I’ve been doing for almost a year now. Being gay.”
“Are you serious right now Mare? You’re being ridiculous”
“No I’m not David! Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing woman and friend, and she took me in when I had nothing, but this isn’t me. She isn’t..me. I love her to death, but I feel like I’m not doing right.”
“And by ‘doing right’ to whom do you mean? Cause these past months you’ve been the happiest I’ve seen in about 5 years.”
“She makes me happy! She makes me feel like I’m somebody and like I matter! It’s just gay alright?”
“Mary you sound pathetic right now and you’re pissing me off. To tell you the truth, you’re being stupid. So tell me, who the hell are you rethinking this for?”
“Uncle David. God.”
“Wow. Talk to me when you start doing things for Mary, ok?”
“David I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be angry with me, it’s just…I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
*** That was a conversation I had with my cousin David on email last week. He’s like my older brother considering we were raised together by his father (uncle David) when my druggie mom left me on his doorstep when I was only 2 years old.
Uncle Dave was a great man and took me in with open arms, but he was stern. The way he raised us was, in his words, “don’t bring home a faggot son, and Mary my love I can’t wait to shake the hand of the gentleman that sweeps you off your feet”.
I remember this one night he walked in my room when I was 16 and caught me kissing my bestfriend, Allison. He flipped out of control, threw her out while banning her from ever coming back, screamed my head off for hours, and grounded me for 2 weeks. He was a very large deep voiced half Cherokee half Italian man, so he scared me shitless and I never saw Allison personally again, and my lips never touched a females after that. Beyond scared straight? We both thought that, but yelling can’t change a true feeling you have.
Now it’s an early July morning and I’m getting back from my run only to walk in on a teary eyed Angie sitting against the office desk with papers in her hand. I noticed how sad she looked, so I took my headphones out, dropped my iPod, and walked over to her.
“Hey..Ang, what’s wrong?”
She didn’t look at me but at the papers in her hand laying on her lap, she started shaking her head and her lip quivered, holding in tears.
Seeing her hurt made me want to kill the person that made her feel that way. Not knowing that I was the reason, I go to give her a hug.
She looked up at me while saying “Stop” and pushing me away slightly.
“What’s going on babe?” I ask
She holds up the papers, gets off the desk and throws them down on it. Her cold hurt eyes never left mine as she wiped a tear away from her cheek.
I was still confused when she got really close to my face and said
“Your shit is packed and in your trunk” gave me a glare and walked upstairs.
I didn’t know what was going on, but what she said was serious and I’ve never seen that side of her. It hurt me to know that she packed my things and was kicking me out, what did I do? The papers!
Rushing over to the desk and grabbing them and reading them, my heart sunk. I’ve never felt so stupid and heartless in my life.
They were printouts of my emails to David. I must’ve left my account open.
“Shit” I thought. I felt flushed, but of course I love Angie, so I ran as fast as I could after her screaming and banging on her locked door to open and let me explain myself.
“Angela! Open the door, let me explain!”
“I love you baby, just open the door and let me explain it, please!!”
The door swung open with a furious Angie now in my face.
“Explain what, huh? Explain how I’m a good friend? How I fucking took you in when your dead beat husband beat you nearly to death and you used me to get better?”
Tears started pouring down my face and I could barely speak.
“You know what Mary!? You don’t love me. You’ve never loved me, because if you did, you would have never even thought about your dead uncles wishes ahead of your own happiness!”
“..stop, please..” still sobbing but calming to talk.
“No Mary, I’m gay and I’m fucking proud of it! I want you out. I don’t want to talk to you right now. I don’t even wanna see you. Get out!”
“where would şişli escort I go huh?”
She didn’t answer and kept a gaze out the window, not looking at a pitiful me.
I knew she would need to calm down before she’d give me the time of day again, so I turned to leave. Stopping in the doorway I looked back and said
“I didn’t use you Angela, and I really do love you.”
She still didn’t look at me, so I continued my walk of shame out of the house.
Sitting in my car alone, I broke down even more.
“SHIT SHIT SHIT” I yelled while slamming the steering wheel.
I knew that I had just screwed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Taking in a few heavy breaths, I dried my tears enough to go for another run, that’s always helped me think. It actually helps me think, reminisce, forget, anything.
This run was a long one and accomplished nothing but bad thoughts. Like what if Angie never forgives me? What if she doesn’t ever let me talk to her about it? What if she went and fucked some random chick to get over me? So many things kept running through my mind making me depressed and angry.
Walking and catching my breath, I stumbled past a bar, so I went in. I had every intention of getting drunk, and that’s just what I did.
I remember telling things to somebody I met there, and they told me I was wasted then called me a cab. As soon as I sat in the backseat of the cab, I gave the driver Angies address and off we went.
Fumbling up the porch steps in my running gear, I got the front door open, but fell in because I was leaning on it. I made so much noise, igniting her attention she ran down the steps and found me lying there giggling.
“What are you doing?” I heard her say
“Hmmm” I got out stupidly
Angela is such a good person. Even through what happened hours earlier, she helped me up and sat me on the couch.
“Now” she says “What are you doing here? Was I not clear this morning?”
All I did was giggle some more and shake my head (I don’t know why) with my eyes closed.
She stood up, obviously frustrated and said,
“Lay down and sleep it off. It’s only 3, so I’ll come wake you up around 9 or 10.” after that being said she fluffed a pillow on the couch, laid me down, and spread a small couch cover over me. Surprisingly enough, she kneeled down and tucked me in, so while she was still there, I stared at her and asked,
“Why are you being nice to me”
She paused looking down at the cover for a minute, stood up not answering me, then walked in the kitchen and came back and sat a bottle of water and two advil on the coffee table.
“Take these when you wake up”
She said calmly then left me there to sleep.
Suddenly I heard a loud noise and I jumped awake, my head pounding. I sat up and looked around then spotted the water and advil and gratefully obliged. Then I remembered the noise and walked into the kitchen finding Angie sweeping up glass. She heard my footsteps creeping behind her and peered back then continued cleaning what broke.
I still felt embarrassed, heartless, and stupid but decided to ask innocently
“C-can we talk?”
Of course not even glancing my way
“sure. why not.” she answered
I took a step toward her and she turned to me quickly as if I was going to touch her and she didn’t want that.
“No, really. Can we please?”
I could see it in her eyes that she really wanted to, so we went and sat across the kitchen table from one another. Angie stared me down, clearly not making the first move.
“Why are you looking at me like that” I asked
“Do you wanna talk or not” she responded swiftly
“Ok yeah, sorry..”
“Before you go on, just save your ‘sorries’ ok? I’m such a nice person and people walk all over me then come back and say sorry. I’ve heard it before. Keep it, I’m tired of hearing it.”
“oo-ok yeah, um” I looked down and bit my bottom lip “Umm the emails. Look I haven’t thought about what I was going to say if you ever gave me a chance to explain, and I know what I wanna say, but I just don’t know how.”
“Tell me what you told David then, you had plenty to say to him.” Angie remarked sharply
“I just..” I looked down again and started crying, then back up at her “I just don’t know Angie ok? I think about my life and future every night and I see you in it!” sobbing “I want you to be in it ok? I do. It’s just how I was raised, and my uncle telling me that as Christians we can’t be gay and we would go to hell and I need to date and marry a perfect man and..” she cut me off
“Stop. Mary just stop alright. You’re babbling, and you’re saying a whole lot without saying anything at all. I’ve heard those stories before. No one is going to hell for being gay and you know that. I believe all Christians know that, they just wanna act like they’re too holy and Jesus like to view life outside of the bible.”
“..yeah I guess so..”
“News flash, God loves everybody, ok, EVERYBODY. You know if you mecidiyeköy escort live with your life in gods hands you’ll go to heaven. So please spare me the Christian Jesus bible shit.”
“I know that! I’ve always known that deep down, but when you are a little girl and this huge man and all his friends are yelling at you telling you something different, you don’t wanna disappoint them or go against anything they say!”
She was staring at me uninterested looking mad with her arms folded and an eyebrow raised. Then there was silence until I continued, my tears dried up.
“Angela, I love you” she rolled her eyes “Seriously can you just listen! I’m in fucking love with you Angie, but I was just scared to admit it to myself let alone the whole world. I cared about what other people thought, and now I don’t. I just want you and I’ll do whatever it takes for you to believe me.”
She loosened up a bit then asked
“So what are you? Tell me your sexual orientation.”
I couldn’t answer nor look at her.
Angie stood up, said “exactly” and walked out of the kitchen.
I was desperate for her. It felt like I needed her then more than ever cause I wanted her to know how sorry I was, and my true feelings, but it was one little thing I couldn’t say. I can’t admit my orientation to her, I can’t even say it to myself. Standing up and running to the bottom of the steps and seeing her walk up them, I say,
“Baby.” she doesn’t respond “Angela please” she stops and looks at me and adds,
“I want you gone by morning.” and disappeared into the darkness upstairs. My heart completely broke. Storming swiftly to my car I got in and pulled off, hours later arriving at Davids house.
Standing on my cousins porch I rang the doorbell once and nobody responded. It was late at night/early in the morning. Tears streaming down my rosy cheeks I rang the bell over and over and over until somebody answered. There was David, staring at me shocked at why I was at his door at this hour, but I ran into him forcing a hug, crying on his chest. He gave me a loving tight hug while closing the door and taking us over to the family room.
We sat there and I told him everything, that “I fucked up really bad” and how I wanted fix everything but didn’t know how. After telling the conversation Angie and I had, David comments,
“Well it seems to me you know exactly how to fix it. I’m no expert at love, but what you two have IS love and you need to express to her what you feel and mean it.”
That was not what I wanted to hear from him. I didn’t want to change anything. Yeah I want Angie back, but I’ve always been stubborn, hard headed, and stuck in my ways, so I said,
“Ya know what Dave? If that’s love, I don’t want it”
“God Mare, can you not be like this for once in your life?”
“No. See, I said those things to you, and she shouldn’t be snooping first off. Second, she’s not even trying to see where I’m coming from! I told her I was in love with her for Christ sake! And she wants to hear me tell her that I’m not straight!? That’s bullshit, fuck that!…fuck her.”
“Yeah, fuck her” David added sarcastically, then went to his room to bed.
After that night, I stayed at Davids. I knew another school year was approaching, and I decided that being a teacher, especially at the same school as…her, wasn’t a good idea. I quit that, and took up a job at an aquarium.
A few months drifted by at this job, and I had earned enough to get my own place. There were too many memories in my hometown, where David lives, so I decided to get an apartment back in town with my old job, Ronald, and Angie.
Luckily I hadn’t seen Ronald around, only in court dealing with our divorce. He was put into rehab and alcoholic programs that helped him sober up and find jobs. Good for him. Through it all I kept Jensen as my last name, it just fit me.
As for seeing Angie, there was this one time in the super market. She was picking out fruits, melons to be exact. But when I grew enough courage to be cordial and say hi to her, I saw she had her eyes on some other “melons”, ones you can’t eat. She turned and followed the girl down an aisle while I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. Of course I was still in love with her, I don’t want anyone touching her but me! I took several deep breaths, stopping myself from making a scene, and then I left the store. Hey, we’re not together right? She can do what she wants, fuck anything breathing if she’d like.
I called up my friend Luke (he’s straight as a circle) and decided we’d go out to the gayest club in town tonight so I can find someone to play with.
I had a mini tight jean skirt on with 4 inch black heels, and a ‘fuck me’ black crop top to match. Luke was matching me, only with tight skinny jeans and black toms on his feet. We were ready for a good night.
Walking into the club we hear the crowd roaring and the base bumping, so we shimmied our way through everyone to the middle of the dance floor and danced with each other like there was no tomorrow.
Luke looked over my should and scream whispered to me over the music,
“Hottie at 12 o’clock”
As he said that I felt a body push up against my back, definitely their front side considering I felt boobs pressing into me. Luke gave me the have fun look and made his way around the club leaving me.
The fast paced, edm raving type of music gradually changed into slower more sensual music and I started grinding with this anonymous female behind me. Her arms were around my waist, keeping me close, so I decided to grab them and push my ass into her even harder. Not even sure I was with the music any longer. Anon was exactly my height at that time, I had heels on and she didn’t. As we swayed I felt her hands start roaming my body and she whispered sexily in my ear,
“You’re so sexy, I want to make sex with you baby” Ahh a French accent that sent chills through me and dampness coating my thong.
She swung me around facing her and our lips stuck. My tongue kept probing at her lips until she opened them and let me in. I grabbed her head to pull her in more so I could French kiss my French anon. You know what they say, when in Rome..! Drifting from her lips I whispered back to her
“Come on” and started pulling her outside of the club.
We hailed a cab and headed to my apartment. While holding hands and giggling to one another in the backseat, we arrived and basically ran upstairs. My hand in hers I lead her into my bedroom. After kicking my shoes off, I leaned in to kiss her and she shoved me to my back on my bed and jumped right on me attacking my lips. French ma’am smiled down at me with a look I couldn’t quite make out but I smiled back at her. She leaned back down to my face, licked my lips, and planted a quick soft kiss on them. Her kisses were soft and gentle, but very sexy. She continued planting these kisses around my face and while she was doing that, I felt her hands slip under my shirt and grip the bottom. After tearing my shirt off of me in a hurry, she took one of my nipples and licked around them. It felt really good, but I stopped her,
“Look I get you might want…everything or whatever, but I just need a quick fix ok?”
I tried to say it as nicely as possible. She shook her head ‘yes’ then snaked down my body, pulling my skirt an thong off in one motion. Frenchie swirled my wetness around my slit with her fingers and took a dive in. Her tongue felt extra long, it was bliss. She licked up and down it at first and then shoved her tongue into my hole and pinched my clit with her thumb and index finger. At that I flinched and my hips bucked up off the bed more into her face. Her tongue fucking sped up as she massaged my little nub and I threw my head back in ecstasy.
“Yeah yeah, unff right there, don’t stop!” I moaned in a high pitch voice and shoved her head deeper into my cunt.
I felt my orgasm building up and could not let her come up for air. For all I knew she can be drowning down there, but I needed to finish. Her head kept trying to get free and gasp in a breath, but I held it there until,
“Oh fuck! I’m cominggggg” I screamed and my whole body shook then went limp. I tried keeping my hands locked in her hair but I had no strength. My body cringed each time she slurped up my cream and musky juices, I was all too sensitive.
She crawled back up to my side and we laid there for about 20 minutes. After that time I told her I had to get up early the next morning and she looked sad but angry. Knowing I wanted her to leave, she rolled out of the bed, stood looking down at me and shook her head.
“What?” I asked
“Nothing.” she paused “Will you walk me out at least?”
I nodded, reached for my robe, threw it on, stepped into my slippers and walked with her to the front door. Opening it she stepped into the hallway and tried to give me a kiss goodnight on my lips. As she got close I quickly turned my head so she’d get my cheek.
“Thanks Frenchie” I said monotone
Looking at me she said “You know something? You’re not what I expected. I thought you would be loving and generous, but clearly you are just hurt which has made you cold.”
I wasn’t looking at her anymore, but at the ground impatiently.
“My pleasure. Goodnight.” she bitterly stated. She walked away and that was the last I saw of her.
The next day I told Luke all that happened.
“Damn girl, you little evil slut” he replied jokingly
“Hahaha well what can I say?” I laughed.
Life went on like that for almost 4 months. I had plenty more hookups and encounters with people I’d hardly known, some more sensual than others. David came to see me one night and we had a conversation I wasn’t expecting.
I poured us each a glass of wine and we sat at my kitchen table.
“So, what’s up!?” I asked
“Why are you acting like this?” I tried to cut in but he kept going “I mean, I get that you’re lonely right now. But that shouldn’t be any excuse to..”
“To what!” I interrupted angrily
“To whore around! Look, you’re my baby sister and I know that this isn’t the life you want.”
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