Anna and SamChapter 19

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As Penny had requested, Sam and Anna remained seated quietly together, side by side, holding each others hand. She wasn’t gone long and soon returned carrying a tray containing a large cafetière of freshly brewed coffee, three cups and a plate of biscuits. She placed them on the low table and very quickly each of them were holding a hot steaming mug. Sam leaned forwards and poured a generous amount of milk into hers and five cubes of sugar. She stirred her drink around and around absent-mindedly and then stopped suddenly, looking up as she became aware that both Penny and Anna were watching her intently. “Oh, erm, sorry…” she began meekly, “I ,erm, I don’t really like coffee…” “Penny immediately looked aghast. “Oh, crumbs, I’m sorry, Sam. Where on earth are my manners. I never thought about that as the two of us…” she indicated herself and Anna, “ We only drink coffee.” She put her cup on the table and went to stand but Sam stopped her, putting out her hand. “No, please Penny, It’s alright, I don’t mind it like this, honestly.” Penny sat back again. “Are you sure, I can make tea it’s not a problem.” Sam shook her head. “No, it’s fine, honestly.” They all three sat quietly sipping their drinks, in their own way wondering what to say next but each of them glad of a moment to calm down and get a little control back into their souls. It was Anna who broke the silence as she leaned forwards and placed her half empty mug on the table before her. She turned to the pretty young woman at her side. “Sam, you know I love you and that this was never just a whim, a desire.” It was a statement rather than a question but nevertheless Sam had an idea what was coming and nodded, her heart beating heavily once more. “But you also love your husband,” she said quietly, “I know.” “I said before, Sam, my heart is broken and I can’t fix it. What happened between us has totally destroyed my life. I have hurt you, I have hurt Philip, I have even hurt Penny, albeit to a lesser etimesgut escort extent, and whatever happens from now will not change anything but I have to make a decision and goodness knows whether it will be the right one but I have to do it, I have to choose.” “I know,” she whispered, “and I also know you will choose your husband. I am sorry I behaved the way I did and,” she looked at Penny, “that you had to come looking for me.” Penny just smiled at her, silently accepting her apology. “You are right though, Anna,” she continued, “You did hurt me but I accept that I am also to blame and I am truly sorry that my selfishness made this so difficult for you and I promise with all my heart that I will not cause you any more trouble but…” She fell silent and lowered her eyes. Anna began to worry at this ‘but’. “But?” she repeated Sam’s last word. Sam looked up again. “What we did, making love and being in love has been the most wonderful and the hardest thing in my whole life.” She looked at Penny then. “I know I can’t ever see Anna again, Penny but would it be possible, that is, would you mind…” Again, she fell silent, not daring to ask. Penny looked at her, uncertain. “Well, I just wondered… would you let me know, from time to time, how she is. Anna is so precious to me and to just suddenly lose her…” Penny softened and smiled. “All right,” she said, “For a while at least.” “Thank you,” Sam smiled sadly, “I will leave my email.” They sat silently once again, the atmosphere around them heavy and unhappy. Finally, Sam got to her feet. “I must go,” she said. |Anna pushed herself up. “You do understand don’t you, Sam?” “That you cannot leave the man who until now has been your whole life?” she asked, “Yes, I understand.” She stepped towards me and then stopped and just looked at me, uncertain and unhappy, tears welling again in her eyes. I leaned forwards the last few inches and kissed her gently. “I’m eryaman escort sorry, Sam. Truly I am.” “I know. Anna,” she replied, “So am I.” She turned away then and took a few steps towards the door and then stopped and turned back. “I love you, Anna,” she whispered, the tiny droplet leaving her eye and rolling down her beautiful cheek as she uttered the words. “I love you too, Sam,” I replied, the words with so much meaning barely able to pass my lips. Penny put her arms around me as the front door closed with a click. “All right?” she said, her own eyes moist. “No…” my voice cracked and tremulous. “Do you want to go home?” she asked and I shook my head slowly. “I don’t know know what I want,” I whispered, “I feel so… so… empty…” “Do want to lie down for a while?” I shrugged and remained still. All feeling had left me. I was totally numb inside with no idea of what to do or where to go. She looked at her watch, “I think that I had better get you home,” she said. “We have been here for over two hours and Philip must be wondering what is happening by now.” “What am I going to do, Penny?” I looked up at her. “I have ruined everything.” “Hey now, Anna. You mustn’t think that way. You still have Philip and Sam is young. She will hurt for a while but she will be all right I’m sure.” “My life was perfect before,” I continued, talking more to myself than to her. “I had everything. I loving and faithful husband, s good job and I had to destroy it all and for what? A few hours with a pretty young girl.” “I don’t think it was quite like that Anna.” Penny sat beside me, “You were missing something. Something that Philip couldn’t give you.” I stared at her, thinking hard. “So why was I not attracted to you then? If I needed to sleep with a woman, why not you? You are almost as close to me as Philip is, you are like a sister to me.” “Ah well, there you have it,” she smiled, “I am like a sister to you, as you are to me. sincan escort Would you have been attracted to Philip if he was your brother?” “I see what you are saying,” I squeezed her hand and smiled, “You are right, of course.” “Come on,” she whispered, “Let’s get you home.” I went to the bathroom and tidied myself up. The make-up was easy to fix but the watery, bloodshot eyes were not so. Nevertheless, some thirty minutes later we arrived at my front door. I called out as I opened it, letting Philip know that I was home but I was greeted by silence. I called out again. Still nothing. I looked at Penny who returned my stare. “Maybe he has gone for a walk,” she offered, “To clear his head. He can’t be far, he hasn’t taken his car.” We went into the kitchen and I put my handbag on the table, reached in and took out my phone to call him. It only took a moment to find his number from the history list and seconds later I got the dialling tone. Almost immediately I heard the familiar sound of his ring tone. His mobile was on the worktop along with his car keys! Once again, I looked at Penny, fear firmly gripping my heart. “Where the hell is he without his car or phone?” I asked shakily. “Hey, calm down,” she said. “As I said before, he’s probably gone to clear his head.” “No,” I replied slowly, “No, he never goes anywhere without his phone. Something is wrong!” “Maybe he is taking a nap,” Penny ventured trying her damnedest to calm me, “I will go and see.” Whilst she went to look I went to the cupboard and took out a glass and poured a generous amount of Cognac into it.. The heat as it hit my throat almost choked me but I swallowed and felt the warmth dissipate inside of me, creating a sort of calming sensation. I took another mouthful, wincing again and was taking a third when Penny re-appeared holding a bunch of keys. “Anna?” she said, puzzled, “What are you doing?” “Brandy,” I simply replied and took another mouthful, draining the glass. “But it is barely Two O’Clock…” “I needed something. I take it he is not upstairs,” I said, looking at the keys in her hand. “Erm, no. these were on the bedside table. Not yours I imagine?” “Obviously,” I answered tetchily, “I let us in with mine!” We stood for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

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