Best Served Cold – Chapter 3, The Past – Dark Confessions

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Sex had never been a problem for us in our past. At first it was usually vanilla, sometimes with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Linda had never been shy about what she needed, but was more comfortable showing me than telling me. I wasn’t much different – until that night years ago when we had returned from our anniversary dinner at a new upscale restaurant. We went to bed early after just a little too much wine, and for the very first time, I had asked for her fantasies.”Um, I really don’t have any. Well not many,” she had answered, with little apparent interest.”That’s OK. Just tell me one of yours, and I’ll tell you one of mine,” I had offered.She turned toward me and rose up on one elbow, peering over at me with suspicion.”What brought this on? Is there something you need to tell me?”I had hoped it would go a different way.”It’s nothing like that – like a confession or anything. We’ve never done this, and I’m in the mood to hear something sexy about you. C’mon, just one of your deep, dark, dirty secrets? Something I’d never guess.”She frowned a little. I wondered if she was thinking of something too dark and dirty to tell me, or whether she was merely annoyed by the idea.”Um – why don’t you go first? Then maybe I’ll know what this is all about,” she said.She was still there, still looking at me with raised eyebrows, somewhat amused, as though she thought I might back down if she batted the request back at me.”Well, you know how curious I’ve always been about you and your past boyfriends. You never give me much of an answer.”She rolled her eyes and sighed.”And I keep insisting there’s nothing to tell. Nothing ‘dark and dirty’ at least. Yes, I had sex with four or five old boyfriends. Some of it was just okay, and some was great. Is my history with old boyfriends part of your fantasy? Because it isn’t that dark or dirty, no matter what you might think.””It’s not that. Not exactly. My fantasy is watching you have sex with someone else, now, when we’re married. I hinted at this before. I guess you didn’t take me seriously.”Her expression had grown more sober. She squinted at me before she spoke.”So, who would this be, exactly? I mean, would you really want me to do this?”I shook my head and smiled.”Absolutely not. It’s bahis siteleri a fantasy. I love your body – I’m absolutely addicted to it. I can’t see you naked without getting at least a little hard, like when you get dressed in the morning, or undressed at night, or when you’re in the tub, all wet and soapy, and call me in to tell me something. Don’t you notice how I stare? Or when I try to steal a peek when you may not suspect it?””Oh, I notice all right. It’s nice that you never stop wanting me. I guess I should tell you that more often, especially when you’re perving around the house hoping to catch me naked!”She grinned at me and softened a bit. I could see her nipples stiffen through her nightshirt and tried not to stare.”But it’s not just that. I think about watching your body while you have sex. I think about seeing what I can’t see when I’m in the same bed fucking you. And I’m fascinated about how you might respond, what you might do with another man. I doubt I could bear really watching you and him together, but it’s still a fantasy. That’s it. That’s all. I just imagine it.”Linda thought for a long time. She looked down over the sheet to see if I was hard, then back at me again after I knew she saw I was. “So, if you never want to actually go through with any of it, what will you do about it? Will you always just think about it and never tell me?” she asked.”I think what we should do is hear your fantasy now. It’s your turn, remember?” I reminded her.She had flopped down on her back beside me and let out an exasperated sigh. The bedside light was still on, and I studied her profile as she stared at the ceiling. There was always something about her face in profile that stopped my breath for a second, especially when she lifted her chin just a little with lips slightly parted. It was both elegant in its fine features and high cheekbones, and childlike in her expression of wonder and innocence. It hadn’t changed at all from her college years, up to that very night.”It was my very first job after college. Yes, I know. We were engaged. But there was this slightly older man who hit on me relentlessly. I told you a little about him before. Remember? He was slim and athletic, very good looking, and so charismatic. canlı bahis siteleri He never asked if I had a boyfriend, and I don’t think he cared. From the instant Jordan and I met, I was mesmerized by him, in a way that made me warm between my legs. I tried to ignore all of it, both his advances and the feelings I had for him.”Eventually we went to lunch together, and then it was almost every day. He invited me to go with him to a party one Friday night. You were away, traveling on the road with your band. I was lonely, so I went with him. The more time I spent with him away from work, the harder it was to resist him. By the end of the night I was in love – or thought I was. He took me home, and we fucked. But not just that once. We did it every Friday night you were away, although there was never another party as an excuse.”He broke my heart in a way. It was never anything other than sex for him. But I was so drawn to him, so obsessed. I was terrified you’d call off our engagement if you find out, but you never knew.”Linda had gone silent, still staring at the ceiling. Minutes passed as I tried to think back for any clue that she had been with him. It had been too many years, and all my Friday nights from that time were hazy or forgotten. There was nothing I could remember that would have given her affair away, even in light of the obsession she claimed had overwhelmed her.”So, is that the kind of fantasy you wanted?” she asked, hesitantly.Her voice was fragile and weak. Did she regret confessing to me, or had the obsession returned to haunt her?”It’s not exactly a fantasy though, is it?” I asked quietly. “Is there more?””He tied me to the bed, David. He played with me until I thought I might pass out from exhaustion and the need to come. He made me beg him to fuck me, and when I did he told me it wasn’t enough. Other nights he’d make me crawl across the room with my wrists and ankles tied, then suck him. He’d masturbate while he watched me squirm and inch my way across the carpet, then complain how I’d disappointed him when I struggled to get his cock in my mouth with my hands tied behind my back. We always used a condom when we fucked – I was terrified I’ve have his child instead of yours and you’d never know. canlı bahis Oh God…sometimes when I sucked him, there was so much semen I couldn’t take all of it. I’d choke on it and he’d punish me for letting a little of it run out of my mouth, and then I wouldn’t get to come at all that night. I don’t know how much of it I swallowed by the time we stopped. It sounds so disgusting, doesn’t it? But David, I wanted it. I craved it – all of it. At times I would have given up our life together just to know it would never stop. But it did.She paused, trembling, and when she began again I could hear the pain creep into her voice. It became a slow, halting whisper with sudden inturruptions when the words that shamed her refused to come.”The obsession never left me, David. But I found the obsession wasn’t for him at all. It was – to be played with, controlled and used by a powerful, charismatic man, to have – those same, crushing orgasms as when I struggled against the ropes – and knew I pleased him. All this time – I’ve chased it away, found solace in the wonderful life we have together. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.”So that’s it, David. That’s my fantasy. Is it deep and dark enough for you?”She turned away from me and turned off the light. I could hear her sobbing. I spooned against her and wiped the tears from her cheek, but there were so many. They were my words back then, the very same words she’d use with me much later.”It doesn’t matter – none of it matters – you’re mine, all mine.”                                                       ~~~~Linda was fine the next day. But I wanted to make sure she knew I didn’t think less of her because of one fantasy, or any part of her past that had brought it to the surface.I came home early and made a huge pan of paella with fresh seafood. Linda was home before it was ready, and she went to the bedroom to change. Back then she still wore blouses and suits that warned other men she was all business. If she had had a hard day at work, she would slip into her usual nightshirt before dinner and be ready for bed by nine o’clock. I watched her close her lips around the extra-large shrimp and take bites from their firm, white bodies, savoring the buttery flavor of the rice and spices. I had been preoccupied with her story from the night before, and watching her there across the table, obviously naked under her shirt, had filled me with images of her helplessly but eagerly submitting to her former lover.

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