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Copyright 2021 by Limnophile
Permission granted to print or repost for non-commercial use if author is credited.
I only offer this to entertain. If at least a few people get their feelings tugged around, I consider my mission accomplished. If I can give somebody a few laughs, or inspire an orgasm, that’s even better.
Thanks to the editors and authors who have helped me improve my writing from ‘Painfully Godawful’ to ‘Below Average’. I hope at least one of them will look at this and not hate it.
By the time I finished a phone call, the two of them put on panties and bras and straightened up their hair. I turned and saw Ehlonna put on a gray and pink pantsuit, as Marissa put on similar one in gray and light blue. Instead of wanton whores, they looked like proper office workers as the followed me into the limo.
I told the driver to follow Marissa’s directions as we went to pick up my future wife. I dozed off on the way, and one of them nudged me awake. Ehlonna was on her cell and said, “Your scheduler wants to know my EPR before he’ll tell me anything. What’s an EPR?”
I explained, “Employee Position Rank. It’s a number from one to twenty. I’m the only twenty. Let me talk to him.”
She handed me the phone and I said, “It’s me again, Brian. Marissa and her sister Ehlonna are my new Entertainment Coordinators. For personal matters only, they have EPRs of 16, like you, VP level. Cooperate with them, and give them any schedule or travel information they need.”
I handed the phone back. When their conversation was over, Marissa said, “Thanks Mr. Tomkins.”
I smiled and replied, “My dick was in you half an hour ago. Call me Larry.” The three of us shared a chuckle.
Ehlonna said, “I want to be sure we have our information correct. Your usual private jet carries up to 9 passengers and has a small bed in back. Your limo carries up to 12, and you have four guest rooms in your penthouse?”
“Six bedrooms in the penthouse and I use one for an office, so yes.”
“Good, we should get to know your likes and dislikes, so we can help you get the best ah … service. Would you like to arrange everything, choose which people entertain you on which day, and what activities you’ll do?”
“I plan and choose far too much already. I mainly like women around 20 to 35, in most colors and shapes, but trying new things might be fun. I’m not into drugs, tattoos, or obesity though. Other than poop or vomit near my face, gay orgies, or serious pain, surprise me. You really wore me out. Let me get a nap until we reach my building.”
She shook me awake in the parking garage, then my security chief and I pulled up the rear of the parade to the elevators. I was a little confused, wondering why there were six females in my entourage, instead of the three I was expecting. As we got to my door, I said, “I’m probably done for the night, John, but the ladies may be leaving later.”
He said, “Very good, sir.” I heard him say over his mic, “This is Johnboy. Tommy is home from camp. Repeat, Tommy is home from camp.” I smiled at the simplicity and our inane codenames. Would you ever expect somebody with the handle ‘Johnboy’ to be a former Marine officer who commanded sixty armed security people?
They even used public CB radio frequencies. Anybody could buy a CB and listen in for little more than lunch money, but nobody expected a real security team to use anything but cell phones or military-grade radios these days. My people sought invisibility through mundanity, and it worked. Thousands of school-age scouts sent similar radio messages every day, and tens of thousands of non-scouts tried hard to ignore them. That’s part of the reason I donated money and radios to all the local scout groups.
As I walked into my penthouse apartment, I told the ladies, “Make yourselves at home. There are snacks and drinks in the kitchen. Let’s get comfortable and have a chat in the living room.” I sat in the middle of a sofa with Marissa and Ehlonna on either side of asyabahis yeni giriş me.
Marissa pointed out the younger ladies. “You’ve seen video of my daughter Leandra. Her brunette friend is Sherry, and the younger redhead is her other best friend, Shannon. The taller redhead is Wanda. Everybody already knows Mr. Larry Tomkins from his company’s advertising.”
I thought Wanda was average-looking and around age 30. The rest of the ladies were beautiful, especially lovely blonde Leandra.
“Leandra and Larry will be dating twice a week for a month, then he’ll decide if he wants to accept our offer and marry her. Ehlonna and I will arrange entertainment for him the rest of the time.
I want to go over the dating rules. Leandra is a good girl, a virgin. She’s going to stay a virgin until she gets married. Sherry and Shannon are her chaperones. They’ll make sure she doesn’t have sex. Wanda will be Larry’s emergency assistant.”
I asked, “What?”
She explained, “Sherry and Shannon will help your dates go smoother, too, but at least one of them will escort Leandra at all times. If she’s sleeping, one or both will be in bed with her. If she goes to the bathroom, one of them will pass her the toilet paper.
Wanda will escort Larry, in case he has an emergency in his pants and needs a vagina. Wanda will be there for him 24/7, but only if it’s an emergency.
The rest of the time, Leandra will prove she’ll be a good wife by opening her mouth and swallowing any time Larry feels a desire to jack off or get a blowjob. Leandra will also prove she’s a good girl and good potential wife by using the poop hole loophole. She’ll stay a virgin by asking him to do her ass on each date.”
My eyes must have been the size of saucers as I asked, “REALLY?”
Leandra sweetly said, “I want you to be happy with me. Sherry and Shannon have helped me practice with toys in my butt for a few weeks. I think I’m ready.”
Marissa French kissed me briefly, then stood up. “She stays a virgin, but enjoy her mouth and ass. If you need pussy, that’s why Wanda’s around. Ehlonna and I will meet you on your way to the office in two days. Your entertainment for tomorrow will bring you breakfast.”
Ehlonna said, “Everybody heard and understands, but I think we should make sure. Stand in front of Leandra, Larry.”
I did, and she continued, “Sherry, Shannon, help her give Larry a pants emergency.”
Leandra unzipped me and pulled out my penis. She said, “Wow! It’s SO BIG!”
The three high school seniors took turns licking and sucking. Leandra looked quite excited. Sherry and Shannon didn’t complain, but appeared to be doing an unpleasant chore. The three were inexperienced and unskilled, but their tongues and lips still brought me closer and closer to climax. So, SO close!
Ehlonna cruelly said, “Hands and mouths off, girls! What do you do, Larry?”
I nearly screamed, “WANDA! Quick! Lean over the table! PLEASE!”
I ran behind her and lifted her skirt. I was a little surprised, but happy to see she wore no panties. I stuffed myself in and blasted a wad into her after only a dozen strokes.
Ehlonna smiled. “There, disaster averted. We’ll see you in a couple days. It’s 7:30pm, so you have 12 hours. The girls need to leave for their first class at 7:30 in the morning. Have fun.” She and her sister smiled and held hands as they left.
As I pulled out, I said, “Thanks, Wanda. You’re a life safer!” I kissed her on the cheek. She took a baby wipe from her purse and started to clean herself, as she quietly told me, “You’re supposed to love the blonde in the middle. I’m just here for fucking. They pay me either way.”
“Still, thank you.”
She yawned and asked, “Can I sleep in one of these bedrooms? Somebody kept me up late last night. A couple of blonde somebodies who left a minute ago.” She winked.
“Sure, take the guest room on the right.”
“Just wake me up if you want more. Or don’t wake me up, and do me anyway.” She smiled as she laid on the bed.
I asyabahis giriş walked back to the girls on the sofa and Leandra said, “We should get to know each other. What do you like to do?”
I answered, “Sex, and making lots of money.”
Her next question was simple but made me think very hard. “Anything else? There has to be something you do just for fun?”
She asked, “What was the last thing you enjoyed that wasn’t about sex or money?”
“Um … I had Cornish hen with rice and vegetables for dinner.”
“Food doesn’t count. Do you have any hobbies, anything you like to watch on TV?”
“I don’t watch TV, I’m too busy. I … I don’t remember anything else fun. It’s been a LONG time.”
She pointed a finger at me and got a stern look on her face. “Mr. Larry Tomkins, you are in DESPERATE need of a happiness transplant.” She leaned over and blew a raspberry on my cheek, then tickled me.
I laughed and hugged her. She smiled and kissed me briefly. “I prescribe one Ditzie Day. We need a Ditzie Dash, girls.” The other two cheered. “Wooo!”
I wondered aloud, “What’s a ditzie dash?”
“It’s like a munchie run, except we get some silly and stupid things to cheer us up. We usually get cake and some junk food too.”
I said, “Sounds good, let’s go.”
Two hours later we returned from several stores and a gas station with a random assortment of … junk. There was no better word for it. Sherry wore an enormous pair of sunglasses and an inner tube with a unicorn head on it, which was intended for swimming pools. Shannon had on a dozen Mardis Gras necklaces, a plastic princess tiara meant for kindergartners, and waved a plastic wand with a star on the end of it.
Leandra wore a red hard hat, like construction workers, a blue cookie monster sweatshirt, and a frilly pink ballerina skirt over her jeans. She had convinced me to get a hat that was mostly yarn and old beer cans and a pair of pine tree car air fresheners she looped over my ears as absurdly large earrings. She also got me a yellow rubber duckie, which she put on a string to make it a necklace.
Our other ‘prizes’ were a cheap box of red wine, a small birthday cake, and several bags of salty snacks.
Leandra said, “Nobody open any food or drinks yet. Do we have the sacred Ditzy movies?”
Shannon held them up. “Yup, ‘Dumb and Dumber’ and ‘Weekend at Bernies’.”
Leandra ordered, “Start up Bernie, and get your glitter.”
As the movie started, I wondered aloud, “Glitter?”
The three stood up with handfuls of glitter and slowly turned in circles while they blew the multi-colored metallic powder all over the place. Leandra said, “I declare Ditzy Day open!”
They threw the last of the glitter upwards, getting it all over our hair and clothes.
I was getting frustrated with the 18-year-olds acting like preschoolers. I also hated anything being dirty or disorganized. I objected loudly, “Why are you making a huge mess!”
Leandra sweetly replied, “There are sparkles and pretty colors everywhere. It looks like a fun place now. Is it hurting anybody?”
She kissed the tip of my nose. “You need to live a little.” She handed me a small container of glitter.
I shrugged mentally and said, “Why not?” I poured it in my hand and blew glitter around the room.
They cheered again and Sherry said, “Speaking of dumber, pass out the wine. Do you have any cigarettes, Shannon?”
Shannon handed one to each of the other girls. “Sure. My brother’s nerdy college friends buy ’em for me. All I need to do is show them my boobs.”
I saw Leandra filling small foam cups with the cheap wine. I was about to tell them not to smoke, but figured, “Why not?” I brought out a ceramic bowl as an ashtray. I watched them sucking their cigarettes, and was reminded of them sucking my penis only a few hours before.
Sherry said, “The last two things about Ditzy Day are eating the cake, and the Ditzy Drop. You can only eat the cake using chips or asyabahis güvenilirmi your mouth. No utensils or fingers. When you finish a drink, you have to drop a piece of clothing, that’s the Ditzy Drop.”
Shannon and Leandra demonstrated the cake rule by scooping up some frosting with tortilla chips. I tried it, and the flavor was … strange, but less terrible than I expected.
I finished my cup of awful wine first and took off a sock. The girls weren’t impressed. “BOO! LAME! Chicken!”
Shannon took off her pants when she finished her first drink. Leandra topped her by taking off her bra without removing her sweatshirt. She hung it around my neck and stuck her tongue in my ear. It felt very weird, but sexy in an odd way.
We watched the ridiculous movie and laughed quite a bit. By the end, each of us had consumed about four more glasses worth of wine. The only clothing any of us still wore was the hard hat on Leandra’s head, the rubber ducky around my neck, and our underwear.
Leandra returned from the bathroom with Sherry and sat between her and Shannon. She said, “I love you two. You’re my breast friends.” She kissed each one on a nipple, then giggled madly. She clued me in. “Sherry and Shannon are lesbians, at least mostly. I know I love girls, but I haven’t done much with guys yet.” She pointed to my boxers and smiled naughtily. “Get that monster over here and try to convince me.”
Sherry held a hand over Leandra’s crotch and said, “Whoa! Whoa! You need to stay a virgin! Did you forget already?”
She frowned, “No, but I want to.”
Shannon reminded us, “Before the end of the date, she’s supposed to do anal with him.” She reached for my cock and started stroking it. After a couple minutes with no reaction, she joked, “Saved by whiskey dick! She doesn’t have to take it up her butt tonight.”
I knew it wasn’t the alcohol, it was sexual exhaustion. I hadn’t climaxed four times in an evening in years. The girls laughed, and I blushed in shame. Leandra kissed my cheek and said, “It’s okay, we still like you. Next time.”
I helped the three of them into a bed in a guest room, then half-crawled to my own. As I started to fall asleep, I realized I hadn’t fucked any of the three but still had a great time.
I woke up feeling something warm and wonderful on my penis. As I pried my eyes open, I saw Leandra giving me a blowjob, and her friends Shannon and Sherry sitting on the edge of the bed nude. Sherry said, “He’s up, in both ways.”
Shannon said, “She felt bad about not doing anal with you last night, so she wants to make it up to you. You need to hurry and cum, though. We have to leave for class.” I saw Sherry was smearing lube on Leandra’s butt.
Sherry rubbed lube on my penis as Leandra stood and asked, “So, can you do it in ten minutes?”
The other girls moved a couple of pillows for her to get the height right, and I slowly slid into my fiancee’s tight anus. It felt great, even better than her aunt’s. “Mmmmm! So good! If it hurts, tell me and I’ll stop.”
“Uhhh! No, it’s okay. Give me about ten slow strokes, then you need to hurry up and cum.”
“Rub your pussy. I want you to feel good too.”
Shannon reached between the pillows and Leandra’s vulva. “I got it. Kiss her, Sherry.”
I stroked in and out of her tight butt, slowly at first. I gradually increased the speed, savoring the wonderful, warm, squishy naughtiness.
She moaned, “Oooh, nice. I like it, but you need to hurry.”
I picked up to nearly jackhammer speed and intensity, and blasted a load into her colon after another minute or so. “URRRRGH! YEAH! SO GOOD!” I felt Shannon’s fingers drive her to orgasm as my cock stopped pumping.
“AIEEEE! EEH! EEH! UH! AAAAH!”
Sherry grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and cleaned us up as Shannon handed a butt plug to Leandra. She slid it into her bottom and said, “I want to feel you in me as long as I can. Thank you, Larry. That was great! Mom says that real sex is even better. If it is, I know I’m going to love you! I’ll see you in a few days.” She kissed me and licked my lips, until Sherry handed her a pair of panties.
“I had a great time too! Thank you, Leandra. Thanks to all of you!”
Shannon tugged her hand and said, “We had fun, but we gotta go!”
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