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Nate’s awareness was reduced to a kind of tunnel vision as his eighteen-year-old daughter led him by the hand across the interminable miles that separated his living room sofa from their final destination. What kept assaulting him, the thing he couldn’t shake but that shook him to his core, was the knowledge, brutal and blood red, that his child had given herself over to his wife–as a lover as much as eagerly debased property–but she somehow thought she could… fix it. Ease him.
It was the biggest, most cosmic of jokes, but he couldn’t find a way to laugh. He couldn’t remember what laughter was, which was ironic because he could hear the universe itself roaring mockingly at him, relentless.
“Daddy…” Claudia’s hands were on his shoulders, pushing him down, and when his stupefied mind managed to clear the cobwebs enough to begin his return to sanity, he found that he was already sitting in a chair in his own bedroom, while his little girl took a seat on his bed a few feet away and primly crossed her smooth, tanned, bare legs. His achingly beautiful angel looked so, so worried as she began running a hand up and down the top of his thigh, trying to comfort him. “I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now.”
“Try.” Nate surprised himself with his answer, but he embraced it and narrowed his eyes at his offspring.
Claudia tensed her improbable body; that mix of lithe fitness and lush curves that was contained only in a tiny yellow bikini. Partially contained. Right in front of him, the evidence was blithely being shoved, almost literally, in his face that the barely-there swimwear had been rent by the passion her own mother had utilized to take her virginity only hours before.
Despite her defilement, the poor, naïve, deluded child still hanging on within couldn’t help but blanch at the tone in her father’s voice. Her jade eyes widened slightly with surprise, and she pulled her hand back without seeming to realize it. Nate didn’t feel the need to say anything else yet.
Claudia swallowed, then visibly worked to regain her equilibrium. Her second reflexive gulp didn’t help the façade much, though. “O… okay. I, well… yeah. I’ll try. If that will help you.” She made the attempt to grin at him disarmingly. “Anything, anything, I can do, I will. I love you with all my heart, Dad.”
Nate only stared. Waiting.
Claudia began playing with a lock of her long, auburn hair and took a deep breath. Maybe the action was utilitarian, maybe it was an attempt at something else, but either way, the result was that one of her huge tits, the tits she’d really only had for the last year or so, shifted enough that its nipple made a surprise appearance… which she didn’t acknowledge in the slightest as she started talking again.
“So… I, we, know you saw them. The… videos.” Claudia didn’t expound, perhaps seeing it as mercy. After all, they both knew that she’d been subjected to a campaign of debauched propaganda designed to insidiously tempt the teen into an acceptance of unfettered, hedonistic incest. Starring her mother; Nate’s own wife. So why spell it out?
“Yes. Yes I did.” Nate was stone. Unyielding
Claudia, looking increasingly unsure, just nodded. “Well… you were meant to. We wanted you to… to absorb the ideas, I guess. Come to… enjoy them? I mean, you’re a guy, and crazy hot girl-on-girl… y’know…” As her voice thinned, he could tell that the teen was discovering then that more than one type of maturity was being forced on her that day, and it was this second one, under the creeping realization that her father was absolutely not reacting in any way she’d thought or hoped, that was very obviously the more difficult to endure.
Still, she was determined. Brave. Nate had to give her that much as she hurried on. “We didn’t, we don’t, mean to… to manipulate you. To force you or trick you or anything. We talked about…” The girl paused then, taking a moment to consider what she wanted to reveal. “Oh, wait… do you know yet that I, that there were more than–“
“I know about the calls.”
“Right. Okay. So, yeah, there was a plan, is a plan, but it’s not… malicious.” The smile was back again. “Not a single one of us wants to hurt you; not me, not mom, not even Aunt Aisha or Grandma Serilda, believe it or not.”
Claudia grimaced. “Dad, this is scary. For everyone. I know that.” She gave a nervous little laugh. “I honestly don’t know if anyone, anywhere, has really ever done what we’re… what we hope is happening. But we can. All of us.” She leaned forward, still heedless of her exposed flesh. “All of us, and that very much means you too.”
“Goddamn it, Claudia!” Nate’s furious roar made the girl lurch back in wide-eyed shock as he shot to his feet. “Stop fucking… handling me! You’re my daughter, not my fucking therapist! Just tell me what you want from me!”
“You, you asshole!” Claudia jumped right up with him, his ire sparking her own escort izmir in equal amounts. Her finger flew forward and jabbed him in the chest. “I want you! My fucking amazing, brave, funny, caring, soothing, protective…” She closed her eyes and quivered for a second. “I want the father, the man, I’m in love with to love me back.”
Her eyes flew open again, and the smirk that formed out of nowhere was one he’d seen countless times before mirrored in Cleo; lustful promise personified. “I need you to love me often. Every fucking day.” The smirk grew truly wicked. “Hard and deep.”
Nate opened his mouth, but no words could get past the tongue that found itself plugging the orifice with the apparent aim of crawling down his throat. He grunted as his daughter snaked her thin arms around him, one at his waist and one behind his neck, so she could pull their bodies together until not a sliver of daylight could be seen.
The newly-deflowered girl writhed against him then, and she began making soft mews of contentment and need that vibrated his teeth, humming in tune with every inch of her nubile, shivering frame. Nate was beside himself, yet somehow very, very cognizant of every sensation racing through his own body, and it was as if he was only a watcher. A voyeur. An outsider.
Realizing that his own eyes had drifted shut, Nate felt a flush of disgust with himself and raised his hands to push Claudia away, but she seemed to anticipate the move somehow, through some kind of awakened instinct, and ended the fleshy invasion before he could, maintaining control and pulling back first.
Running a finger along her slick, smiling lips, she fixed him with a coquettish stare. “Damn, you fucking stud. That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” She waggled a brow at him playfully. “Don’t tell mom.” At seeing nothing but a gape in response, she chortled throatily. “From the size of the python I felt in those tight pants… don’t tell mom’s toy either.” Looking very pleased with herself, Claudia took one more step back. Her eyes flicked down to his crotch, and she bit her lip. “Mmm, I can’t wait for the show to start, so let’s get the preview out of the way.”
Nate could only give a little, weak shake of his head when his daughter began seductively running her fingertips across her flat, lightly defined core, up to the thin string between her breasts that was valiantly keeping what was left of her bikini in place, and tugged. Down came the yellow scraps, and out came the vision of ripe perfection that he was half responsible for. Still without a word, Claudia, with one hand, cupped her tit-flesh and lifted, then with the other, repeated her unveiling with the bikini bottoms, revealing that she’d very much prepared herself for this day when she’d embarked on her… scorched earth endeavor.
Fingers massaged the smooth globe above while their counterparts did the same with the hairless mound below. Nate’s daughter was wanton; a siren luring him into her depths.
“Daddy, I want you so, soooo bad…” She moaned out her need to her father, unabashed and unfettered. The girl, never stopping her self-gratification, lied back on the bed and spread her knees, giving a newer, fuller view to the man who sired her. “I’ve always wanted you, I just didn’t know it till mom woke me up. Please, daddy, I’m giving myself to you! Claim me! Take my body!”
Echoes. Repeats of tinny words he’d already heard through a tiny little speaker. It was… insulting.
“Thought your mom already had you, Cloud. Can’t sell the same item twice.”
Claudia’s fingers, her entire being, went dead still. Her hands fell to her sides and she pushed herself up, her big boobs bouncing with the quickness of her movement, and she locked furious, incredulous eyes on her father. “What the hell did you just say to me?”
“You heard me.” Nate didn’t give an inch.
She began shaking her head. “No I fucking didn’t. I couldn’t have. Because it sounded like my own father just called me a whore.”
“Not the word I’d use. A whore exchanges her body for money. For something real. You… you’re trading your soul for something that only exists in your imagination. I don’t know what the word is for that, besides… tragic, I guess. Heartbreaking.”
Nate’s shoulders slumped then, and he found he couldn’t maintain even this brief stoicism in the face of all the realizations he was finally allowing to pierce his shell. He put a hand over his eyes wearily and fell back into the chair that was waiting for him. “Goddammit, Cloud, can’t you see what’s happening to you?” He looked up desperately. “What’s already fucking happened?”
Claudia’s face scrunched as a flash of pain raced through, there and gone. “Nothing’s happened! Nothing, bad!” She scooched her firm but forward on the bed, all thoughts of ham-fisted seduction now gone. “Yeah it’s… not usual, but it works! It’s… it’s love, daddy! Big, loud, messy, and wonderful! How… why can’t you see it?”
“Claudia, escort izmir this will absolutely wreck you. There’s no two ways about it.” Now it was Nate’s turn to reach out, and he took his little girl’s hands in his, a bit heartened that she let him without trying to turn it into something else. “No one can live this way and not be ruined by it. All people, everywhere, have to be able to… to restrain themselves. If we always get everything we want, then everything becomes worthless!”
“Dad, you’re… I don’t know what that has to do with…”
“Claudia, you want me… you want your mother… your aunt, your grandma… your cousins, without a doubt… all of us in that golden palace and its fortune left behind by your grandfather. A life that might as well have been granted by bottled genie.”
Claudia laughed. “And that’s bad? Daddy… don’t you see? You put yourself there too, which is what we both want! What we both need! Jesus, we can start right now if you’ll just get over yourself and fuck me rotten on your bed!”
Nate squeezed his little girl’s hands hard enough that he was sure she was feeling discomfort, but he couldn’t stop. “Cloud, if you get all that, do you think it will end there? A year, five years, ten years of having every last desire, every fleeting whim fulfilled will strip away everything that makes life worth living. No challenges. No triumphs. You’ll wake up one day living in a beige world that you resent with every breath, and you’ll go looking. You’ll throw yourself at anything you think will stop the crushing ennui for even an hour. That’ll be it. That’ll be the end of you. God, how can you not see that?”
Even before he got it all out, Claudia was shaking her head violently in denial. “No. No, we have a plan. A perfect fucking plan.” She bent forward suddenly, pressing her forehead against his and grasping his head in both hands. “You’re that plan, dad. It’s you. We know that you’re the key, the one who will–“
“Enough.” Nate prised himself from his child’s desperate grip and put his back up against the bedroom wall. “I… I can’t.” He let out all his breath then, staring up helplessly at the ceiling. “I just… I’m done. I give up.”
Still on the bed, Claudia seemed to shrink in on herself. “Wha… what are you saying?”
Nate wasn’t sure if the look he gave his only daughter, his precious princess, fully expressed what he was feeling–the infinite sadness for her, the vicious disappointment in himself–but her own face told him that it came close. Close enough that he didn’t need to answer in words.
“NO!” Claudia’s screech boomed across the room and out the door, making Nate flinch like he’d been struck physically. “You’re gonna leave me! I can see it! You… you’re going to… to abandon me!” She blindly groped behind her then, and the pillow she launched at him may as well have had a thousand spiked imbedded in it. “I’m telling you that I love you deeper than anyone ever has… and your answer is to run?”
“There’s nothing left in me.” The simple truth.
“FUCK YOU!” Claudia was gibbering now, a screaming wreck, and she began pounding her fists on the mattress beneath her in the tantrum to end all tantrums. “I love you, you stupid bastard! I need you! I’m your daughter, you can’t do this to me!”
Before he could even begin to respond, a flash of red streaked past his face and suddenly Aisha was there, scooping her niece, her would-be daughter, into her arms to try and soothe the tempest, riding out the maelstrom. It was Aisha alone, though, which Nate could only note absently.
Claudia was sobbing into her aunt’s chest by that point, past any coherency, and her mother’s sister could only whisper soothing noises as she rocked the teen girl back-and-forth softly, one hand stroking the child’s bare back while the other did the same to the disheveled auburn hair. After a minute of this, with no visible improvement in the heartbroken puddle of emotion, Aisha gave Nate one, long look.
“Just… go.” She shook her head. “Such a disappointment. You have no idea yet how sorry you’re going to be.”
Nate frowned at that. It wasn’t a threat. There wasn’t an ounce of frustration, bitterness, or rancor in his sister-in-law. Her voice, her eyes, all they contained was… resignation. A dreary announcement of the bare facts of the matter. It was like she was a stenographer reading back a verdict because it was her job.
Still, Nate had told it true; he was done. With a last, regretful look as his un-consoled offspring, he turned and left his bedroom, taking with him only the clothing on his back, the keys in his pants, and the wallet in his pocket.
He made it as far as the front entryway before he discovered that he was, in fact, not quite as done as he’d thought.
“I knew that there was no way on the planet you’d say yes. I knew it as soon as I saw you on that couch. Hell, I think I heard the sound of your heart rending the second we walked in.”
Cleo, still in her own little bikini from the beach, stood in front of him, blocking the front door, hands on her slim hips, and shaking her dark head with weak, little, hopeless jerks.
“Did you?” Nate was trying to decide what do to then. How far he would go if she kept barring his way.
“I know you, Nate.” His wife gave a self-deprecating, humorless laugh. “Even now. Even though you think I’m a… a stranger.”
“Think?” Nate barked out the word with his own bitter laugh, unable to help himself. “Pat… Cleo… you’re a fucking alien to me right now.” He gestured to the beach bag that’d been carelessly left by the door upon her return. “Complete with probe.”
Cleo winced reflexively. “Jesus, Nate.”
“What, Queen Cleopatra doesn’t like someone telling her something she doesn’t want to hear?”
“I love you.”
Nate blinked. Guess it was his turn to hear something he didn’t want to. He recovered quickly enough, though. “Bullshit.”
“I love you with everything in me.” Cleo looked up at him. “That’s why I let Aisha… no, why I fooled myself. Went with the plan. I told myself… fuck. I forced myself to believe I could have it all.”
She put her face in her palm briefly. Wearily. “A few minutes ago, the things you were shouting to our daughter, it felt an awful goddamned lot like you were really screaming them to me. I was… shit. I was just so, so sure it would all work out; right up until we came back from stabbing you in the back and I saw you looking like you wanted to die.” She squeezed her dark eyes shut. “Big fucking wake up call, that was.”
“Bull. Shit.” Nate growled at his bride of twenty years, a true, primal rage beginning to form. “I saw every last one of the videos, and I know that they weren’t the sum total of your fucking personality flip. Shit, no… your personality recovery. Let’s both be honest here.”
“I need you.” The timid, soft words were sharp as thorns.
“You haven’t fucking touched me since you came back!” Nate threw out his arms. “You shut me out! Pretty fucking clear message!”
“That… it was self-preservation.” Only looking at her toes, Cleo nonetheless gave her last-ditched attempt to keep her husband from leaving. “After all those months away, when I came in and saw you and Claudia again after… after all that I’d become, I nearly broke, right then and there. But, like I said, there’s a plan, and I was… committed. I’d made… promises. So, yeah, I shut you out, because I knew that, if I felt your touch again, your love, I’d break those promises.”
She grimaced at the floor then. “Before you say what I know you will, I have to be clear; the promises weren’t to Aisha or my mom. They were to Claudia. Our daughter. I’d been the one actually calling her these last months, using someone else’s phone in case you checked. I worked on her. Reassured her and coaxed her. Then, back at your side, when all the recriminations and second guessing began… I told myself I had to stay strong. For her. I love her, Nate. And I love you. I’m… it’s tearing me in two, having to… face reality now. Knowing I can’t have you both like I want.”
“You love her juicy body, you mean.”
“I love the heart inside it. Fucking… yeah, sure… not like a mother is supposed to, but it’s real. It’s the same I still feel for you.” Cleo finally straightened her backbone enough to look at him again. “The same I’ll always feel for you, even if you walk out that door.”
With that, she swallowed and stepped to the side and waited. Just staring.
“Please don’t walk out that door, Silver.” Cleo choked up then, her face collapsing as she began breaking down. “I know it’ll all turn to shit without you.”
“You say that like it already hasn’t”
The door shutting behind Nate wasn’t quite quick enough to keep the first part of his fallen wife’s anguished wail from reaching him… but it was quick enough to keep it from completely crushing his soul. Barely.
Endings are lies as long as memory remains. Moments aren’t born in a vacuum. New events have to be birthed from old, even if the old seem long gone.
All progeny carry the heritage of their progenitors, conceptual or otherwise, just as all progenitors bear responsibility for what they create.
Nate, alone in a refuge, had spent a full year doing all he could to ignore this axiom. Fool that he was, he’d actually convinced himself he’d succeeded. He was maintaining. He was working and providing for himself. He was moving on. Healing. He was. He knew it.
He also nearly jumped out of his skin when the front door of his condo was hammered one night as he numbed himself with his usual regimen of listening to music and staring at the ceiling.
No one at all in his new life had come to know him well enough to want to pay him a visit, and Nate stared at his door for a full minute as the wheels turned in his head. …Mormons? Jehovah’s Witnesses? Do they come at… he looked at the clock. Shit. Eight at night? Fucking weird…
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