My First Time, losing my innocence

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My First Time, losing my innocenceLosing my Innocence – My First TimeMy Very First Time – losing my innocenceLoving me for the first timeIntroducing myself as a young girl.When I was young teenager I didn’t have a lot in the way of body confidence. I was very skinny and when I dared to look at myself naked in my full size mirror, I just saw a young girls innocent underdeveloped body. I’d just started puberty but unlike some of my friends who were fast starting to develop I seemed to still be a skinny young girl. I remember how embarrassing it was in the school gym showers, there was no privacy and I was always on the butt end of some really cruel comments about my little girls body and my flat chest. I had a very immature figure with slender hips and very small budding breasts and I only started wearing a bra just to cover myself, but I did have vibrant long red hair almost down to my ass which looked pretty good I thought. I didn’t think I was attractive, in fact I was quite plain looking and freckled and certainly not sexually mature at all, I could see my pussy lips starting to develop and get a little puffy but even after a few months I still didn’t have any pubic hair, making me look about 12 years old! I started having sex when I just turned xxxxteen- I was young, immature and certainly very naïve. I was at a very impressionable age I guess and had almost no experience of guys at all. I was immediately attracted to a redheaded guy I first met when we were at school who was a couple of years older than me, but unfortunately he already had a steady girlfriend. In the beginningEver since I first saw Mike I had a schoolgirl crush on him. I would dream of him and thought about him all the time. He was a real ginger, tall at 6′ 2″ and also skinny and when we were in the lunch queue once, he told me he used to see me with my friends at school and we were like kindred spirits with our red hair and it was fated we should get together one day! I went bright red and said “I thought you already had a girlfriend” but he just dismissed the question and replied by telling me it was just a casual thing with her. A month or so later he asked me out on a proper date and I asked him if his girlfriend would mind? he replied “we’re free agents and who’s telling her anyway?” I made up a story about seeing a girlfriend from school and sneaked out to see him. He met me in his dads car and we just drove around a bit having fun, I was way too young to go into a bar or anything so we just used to hang out. We met up a few times over the next few weeks, but I knew he was still seeing his girlfriend as well, but when his parents were out for the day he would sometimes take me to his place and we fooled around – still fully dressed, I was wearing my first bra now although I really didn’t need one and used to let him feel my tiny breasts under my T shirt and let him put his hand between my thighs – Even though I was young, I felt so grown up and he made me feel desirable, I was defiantly falling in love with him, my hormones were rampant out of control!When we on the couch kissing, I let him pull down my shorts and rub my virgin pussy between my panties a couple of times which felt really good, the thin cotton pressing between the folds of my lips, I didn’t actually cum but I do remember having very wet panties. I had never even experienced an orgasm, ever. I pushed it a bit and asked him outright if his girlfriend “let him do that?” he was very dismissive and was obviously reluctant to talk about her but when I pressed him he just said “sometimes she does, but her pussy doesn’t feel as good as yours” which I’m not sure made me feel any better. I asked him if he enjoyed fucking her because to me she looked much more mature and shapely but he said “lets not talk about her I’m with you right now and I’m enjoying you more, I love you because you look so young!” I was determined to let him want to be with me and to give him what he wanted. I quickly realised like so many guys I have met since, he was sexually exited by younger girls, so I gave him one of my girly smiles and for the first time started to stroke his straining crotch with the palm of my hand and felt him shudder and make a kind of grunting sound as he came in his pants. Realising the pleasure izmir escort I was giving him was fantastic. I just wanted to please him. The Journey BeginsI asked him a few times for reassurance that he loved me and he said he’d show me how much very soon when I was ready. He told me his parents were away on a trip for the weekend and asked me over to hang out at his place if I wanted. After raiding his dad’s bar cooler for some wine we sat on the couch kissing and cuddling, I felt quite sophisticated drinking chardonay in the middle of the afternoon like an adult. After a while he suggested we go and have some fun, he said bring your wine with you and he led me into his bedroom – I’d drunk a couple of glasses already and felt quite light headed and playful as I downed the remains of my wine, I remember trembling with anticipation as he held me and started tongue kissing me, it felt so wonderful to be on our own. I thought we were going to just play around a little like before but he started to slowly undress me, but despite the wine, I stopped him when wanted to remove my bra and panties, I felt so nervous, I knew I wasn’t the first schoolgirl to lose her virginity or the last, I just wasn’t sure I was ready for anything more. I can’t really explain it, I felt exposed and hesitant but deliciously exited at the same time – and then the situation changed as I watched him strip down to his underwear then hold me really tight kissing me on the mouth and reaching down to my neck with his mouth, he reached around my back and unclipped my tiny bra searching out my breasts and cupped them in his big hands, gently squeezing my small pink nipples with his fingers obviously enjoying me. It was the first time anyone had seen me naked like this other than at school and I was so exited with anticipation. He leaned up and smiled and reached for my trembling hand placing it around his bulge, it felt hot like a coiled spring as I wrapped my long fingers around his urgent shape constrained by his tight underwear. He reached down a little and put his fingers against my panties and started rubbing my pussy through the thin cotton which felt fantastic, my knees were nearly buckling under me! I looked in his eyes and smiled sweetly which I guess was my acceptance that he could go further – at that moment it didn’t matter he had a girlfriend, I was going to be better than she was!I reached forward and pulled down his waistband to free his gorgeous manhood which I have to say frightened me when I looked down and first saw it especially his shock of ginger pubic hair. I was just a young inexperienced girl and didn’t know what to expect, I had no idea a cock was actually that big and remember thinking my god, how on earth is he going to get that inside me – and his balls! in my nativity I hadn’t even thought about a guys balls, they were amazing and so big hanging down like ripe plums! I imagined them where full of cum. He put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me downwards so I was on my knees between his legs and he pulled back his foreskin which I thought looked painful, and guided my face towards his hard erection holding my head in his hands quite firmly keeping me from moving away. I just kept my arms down by my side, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do and his cock frightened me a bit and I couldn’t take my eyes off his ginger pubic hair and his huge dangling ball sack. I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue and ran it around his cock head, looking up to see if he approved then I opened my mouth as wide as it would go and just allowed the tip of his engorged purple cock past my lips into my mouth onto my tongue – I think it was the biggest thing I had ever had in my mouth ever, he gasped with pleasure and kept saying how good it felt. I closed my lips over him and just moved my wet tongue around his cock head hoping that was the right thing to do. He didn’t taste so good in my mouth though, a bit of a stale salty taste and I could smell his body sweat in his hair.After a couple of minutes he withdrew from my mouth and lifted me up by my arms and guided me down on his bed lying along side me, pressing into me. I kissed his face and lips and whispered in his ear that I was ready and begged him not to hurt me, he said he would be izmir escort bayan careful and started greedily kissing me and fondling my small naked breasts which I was thinking must have been such a disappointment for him, with my little girls body. I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do and his fingers found my wet labia through my panties and despite being so nervous I was exited as well knowing he wanted me – my young teenage hormones were going absolutely crazy as I felt his hard erection pressing into my body and I knew he wanted me and I definitely wanted him – I just hoped I was going to be able to get him inside me!The point of no returnI had assumed that having a girlfriend and being older he was experienced. He certainly seemed to know what to do and in my excitable hormone driven jealous state, I asked him “was your girlfriend a virgin too?” he was a bit hesitant but I persisted asking if he had taken her virginity and he told me they had both been virgins when they had sex for the first time a few months back and it had been difficult for her, I didn’t exactly know what he meant but he reassured me by saying “relax, I know what I’m doing” which I took as a massive compliment that with his experience he was going to make me a real woman, he had chosen me!I asked him if he loved me more than her and he said “of course I do, you’re gorgeous” He reached above my head for a pillow and lifted me up to place it underneath my ass, he told me it would make it easier, then he grabbed a condom from a box he had ready on the nightstand, he’d obviously set this situation up and I noticed there was only a couple left in the pack, I suppose I knew who he’d been fucking in this bed before me, embarrassed, I told him he probably didn’t need it as my time of the month was just due anytime – I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and besides, everyone knew you couldn’t get pregnant the first time anyway, right? The pain, the pleasure and the tearsHe kneeled between my legs and reached down and pulled off my panties, then parted my legs. I felt so exposed, he said “you ready for this, it might hurt a bit?” my mouth was dry and I could hardly get the words out “yes, I want you” I croaked. I felt intense pressure against my slippery labia lips and he attempted to find the entrance to my vagina with the head of his cock. I felt his engorged erection moving up and down until he was sure he was in position, I nodded in agreement and said “yes, that’s it” and felt increasing pressure and a stab of pain and he relentlessly started pushed against my pussy, the head of his cock resting against the gossamer tissue of my hymen, I started to panic and was gasping for air, my skin felt flushed, I was getting frightened and tried to wriggle away from him but he reached down and pulled me back towards him by my hips really hard, there was no escaping him now, I screamed out in pain, my breath being forced out of my lungs as he expertly pushed into me breaking through my hymen in one powerful thrust as his cock broke through into my virgin cunt, I gasped as he held me tight to stop me moving away and I remember biting his shoulder as he forced his way inside me, I was crying now – I just wanted him to stop. The pain although intense, thankfully soon receded as he started to gently thrust up and down inside me telling me how tight I was. It felt like a massive snake was inside me, relentlessly exploring every corner of my insides. Despite my tears, I was trying to keep my muscles tight and kind of ‘in sync’ with his thrusting, I almost felt it wasn’t my body for a minute like it was happening to someone else and after a minute or so I felt his whole body tense up and felt him release his warm cum deep inside me for the first time, his cock almost recoiling and spurting again and again deep inside me. I was sobbing now like a c***d, I had so wanted him to love me and I remember asking if I was a disappointment but he just said “you feel fantastic” he was more concerned with taking my virginity without a condom and kept telling how good it felt. With some pride he said I was the “best virgin he’d broken in” and despite my tears it felt wonderful to hear him say that.I dried my eyes on the back of my hand, I was sort of getting used to the feel of him escort izmir inside me, it felt heavy and very hot and he started kissing me on the mouth quite hard, I thought he’d finished and was expecting him to get off me, I wanted to go to the bathroom and check myself and get dressed but he still seemed quite exited and stiff inside me. Then suddenly he started to thrust into my pussy again which actually felt easier now but a bit sore. He gripped my shoulders really hard and after a few seconds thrusting he grunted and came inside me again. When he climbed off me and I remember looking down and seeing I was in quite a mess, there was a patch of blood on the pillow case and a fair amount of semen which I suppose I thought was normal, my pussy was covered in cum and my blood. Did I enjoy it? truthfully, no I didn’t, it was very painful and very uncomfortable experience and not like I’d imagined it would be like, I certainly didn’t cum and I didn’t feel very sexy either, it was like an ordeal.Continuing where we left offI didn’t quite have the same enthusiasm for a while afterwards, I was embarrassed and a bit disappointed with myself, but told myself that I’d done it now and there’s no going back. After some persuasion from Mike he told me “I had to get back in the saddle straight away” and it would only get better. He reminded me how much he loved me and it would be much better next time. We started having sex again and I did start to enjoy it now, I even started growing some wispy red pubic hair! He taught me a few tricks about how to orgasm more easily and usually allowed me to cum before he penetrated me, he preferred it like that and I didn’t question it – he certainly knew which buttons to push.He took a liking to fucking me when I was just about to start a period, I presumed so he could come inside me without wearing a condom. My periods were ‘to-the-day’ regular and he would check my diary and time it so he could fuck me “bareback” as he called it. Sometimes when he came inside me, he could bring on my menstruation almost immediately after sex which was really messy for me but he didn’t really care. He would quite often cum inside me more than once when he wasn’t wearing a condom, which I guessed was normal for a young guy. He used to say he “was painting my cervix!” Controlling my ‘Dark Side’Things got easier over the next few months as I became more experienced and as my body started to develop into a more womanly shape and my breasts grew bigger, he started to enjoy me even more, although secretly I think he missed the innocent little girl look, he told me once that he had always been attracted to me because I looked so young and innocent, I certainly couldn’t get into my school uniform now!I knew from friends that he was still seeing his girlfriend and sometimes I used to make him tell me all the intimate details when we got the chance to be together, and although it made me insanely jealous, the dark side of me started to feel strangely exited and I realised I could use my jealous feelings to my advantage. We kind of made it a feature of our lovemaking and I made him re-enact exactly what he did with her. He took some persuading to go into any detail, but once I gave him my little girly smile and whispered what I’d do for him if he told me, he quickly saw the benefits of joining in my little game. He taught me to fuck “doggy style” and I let him thrust into me while telling me what his girlfriend did with her pussy while he was enjoying her and how he enjoyed emptying his cum into her pussy. I asked him outright was he telling her that he loved her and he just said “he only told her that to keep her happy and he loved me much more, but couldn’t give her up just yet” which I guess I accepted. He told me that when she had finally agreed to let him cum in her mouth she didn’t enjoy it and spat out his cum… so by way of his reward telling me, I let him empty his balls down my throat nearly choking me in the process! Eventually his girlfriend moved away and I think he was really cut up about that, but we continued to have sex and I knew I had him all to myself and after a few months he asked me to marry him. Despite the unprotected sex, I never did become pregnant and tests later confirmed I was unable to conceive. This I think changed our relationship and he could be quite controlling towards me and gradually introduced me to sexual experiences which I went along with at the time, including letting his younger brother become intimate with me.

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