Nighttime Confessions

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Nighttime ConfessionsMeg cheated on her husband; what comes next?I cheated on my husband tonight.I didn’t plan it. I didn’t expect it. I don’t think I invited it. I didn’t go to this conference thinking I would cheat. I’ve never even thought about cheating on my marriage before. But it happened.I cheated on my husband and I’m afraid what will happen now.My name is Margaret Prescott; most people call me Marge. My husband, my siblings and a few c***dhood friends call me Meg. I’m 39 years old and I’ve been married to Donald for 16 wonderful years.I guess you could say that Don and I have a typical modern marriage. We have a modest home in the suburbs and have two k**s, two incomes, two cars and sometimes, two lives. Don works as an office manager for a manufacturing plant in the city. With his 45-minute commute each way and the long hours that his boss expects him to put in, Don is out of the house early and home late on far too many days. But, we all know that he puts in the hours for all of us. Don tries hard to make it up to us on weekends and on the occasional day when he can leave early. The k**s love him dearly and he has been the love of my life since I first met him in college.Me, I’m your average suburban mom. I work full time as a physical education teacher at a large high school and coach the girl’s soccer and field hockey teams. I drive a minivan and focus my life around my family.Don and I have two c***dren, 14-year-old Brad and Sarah who is twelve. My c***dren are your typical active sports crazy k**s. They have grown up in our local youth sports program shifting from soccer to basketball to baseball depending on the season. Brad goes to karate lessons twice a week while Sarah goes to a gymnastic school. Summers are filled with camp or swimming lessons at the pool. Running them around keeps me on my toes, but I don’t mind because it keeps them from getting bored and into trouble.Brad is about to start his freshman year at the high school. He has developed a passion for soccer and is currently at soccer camp. He is working hard on his game and is planning on trying out for the high school team next year.Last year, Sarah decided to really concentrate on gymnastics. She is getting pretty good and was accepted into an exclusive training camp this summer. I don’t know if she has the talent to compete nationally, but if she keeps it up, her coach thinks she has enough talent to compete at a collegiate level.During the school year, my typical day is pretty hectic. For most of the year, after classes end, I have a team practice to run or a game to coach. In the off-season between soccer and field hockey, I’m expected to put in office hours and supervise the students using the school’s exercise equipment. After that, I’m off to take Brad and Sarah to their activities. Luckily, there haven’t been too many conflicts so far.I know that Don regrets the events that he misses. He rarely gets the opportunity to see the k**’s play or compete during the week. He sees some of the games on tape and always wants a minute-by-minute replay when he gets home. Whenever there is an event on the weekend, he makes it a top priority to see it. I appreciate the effort Don is making to stay as active as possible in the k**’s lives. Unfortunately, this does cut down on the “us” time that Don and I would like to have. It’s almost getting to the point where we need to schedule time for the two of us to be together.In short, my life is the typical harried life of the suburban soccer mom. My life is centered on my k**s and my family. I get too little time to spend with my husband and no time at all for myself. It would drive me crazy if I wasn’t so happy.If I had to describe myself, the word that would come to mind is average. I’ve never really thought of myself as having an exceptional body or as being pretty. I’m the one that has always been jealous of the other girls. Don thinks I’m pretty and I do have a nice set of legs and a firm ass and stomach. All the time I spend in the gym has kept me is shape. My breasts are not large, but they are firm with sensitive nipples.In high school, I was a tomboy. My life was sports; I was a starter on the soccer and field hockey teams and rode the bench on the basketball team. I wasn’t a star, just a solid player that the coach could rely on. That got me an assistant captain’s job as a senior on the field hockey team. I think the coach wanted to thank me for the time I put in. It certainly wasn’t for my leadership skills.Physically, I was a late bloomer. Until the end of my junior year I was skinny and shapeless. I didn’t start to develop any type of breasts or curves until well after most of my friends. Needless to say, the boys didn’t pay me much attention. They went directly for the girls with the biggest set of boobs. I wasn’t one of the popular girls, didn’t go on many dates and never had a steady boyfriend.My behavior probably contributed to my lack of a social life. I’m quiet and a bit shy. I never really got the hang of flirting or the art of social conversation. All through high school, when I went to a dance or to a party, I tended to hang around the outskirts listening and contributing very little.I’m sure you know the type. I was one of the wallflowers. I’m the girl you see at your high school reunion ten years later and don’t remember. I was one of the nameless majorities that populate most high school classes.I had my circle of close friends that I hung out with and I was a nodding acquaintance with most of the school jocks. Because of my sports connections, I was rarely the butt of mean spirited practical jokes. I went to my share of dances and parties; I just never got close to many people.By my senior year, my body had developed to the point that I started to get asked out. However, I rarely went out with the same boy more than once or twice. I refused to put out on a first or second date and I wasn’t interesting enough to the boys I dated for them to put the effort into getting to know me better.Although I was not a virgin when I left high school, it was pretty close. I gave my virginity to Tom Stanley after the senior prom. Tom was the closest thing that I had to a boyfriend in high school. He was on the wrestling team and was probably as shy as I was. We got to know each other in class and found ourselves hanging out with the same people. We could go out together and just enjoy our time without a lot of talking. Neither of us saw the need to fill every moment with meaningless words.Tom and I were good for each other. Towards the end of our senior year, we both started to come out of our shells and got to know each other fairly well. We learned to feel comfortable with each other and gave each other some very needed self-confidence. Tom and I never loved each other and never dated each other exclusively. Rather, we would hang out as part of a larger group, and get together occasionally for some laughs.Today, I think Tom would be described as a friend with benefits. We did continue to have sex occasionally the summer after high school, but it was casual. When we said goodbye before leaving for college neither of us shed a tear as we were both looking forward to new experiences.As a freshman in college, I got more involved in the dating scene, but didn’t hook up with anyone seriously. I did have sex with a few guys and did experiment with one of the girls on the field hockey team, but sexually, I remained a novice. I did not attract the attention of the campus wolves so the men that I slept with were as inexperienced as I was. I did learn to give an adequate blowjob and enjoyed getting oral as well, but my sexual experiences could best be described as two inexperienced people fumbling in the dark. Even my night with Tricia was a one-time experiment by two nervous girls for whom it was their first same sex experience.These early experiences came to typify my views towards sex. While I enjoy sex, it has never been an obsession with me. I could never see what the fuss and bother were about. I did enjoy orgasms some of the times that I had sex, but never more than one. I never saw the fireworks or had the intense experience that some of my girlfriends described. Truth is, I didn’t miss it. All sex was to me was a pleasant form of exercise. I never understood the difference between sex and making love.I met Don the summer after my freshman year. I had gotten a job as a counselor at a summer sports camp and had a two-week vacation before I had to report for the summer. I didn’t want to go home and hang around my parents’ house but I didn’t have much money. My roommate suggested that I take a trip with the college outing club.I checked into the trips offered and found an intermediate canoe trip to Canada that I was able to afford. I didn’t have much experience canoeing or camping, but I knew I was in good shape so I thought I could bluff my way through it. I signed up and set out to spend ten days canoeing through the Canadian wilderness. Luckily for me, Don was assigned to be my canoe mate for the week as I was wrong about my ability to bluff my way through.At first glance, Don is not that impressive. He is a little shorter than average and rather thin. He doesn’t look like he is athletic at all. But, as I soon found out, looks can be deceiving.All of my life I have been active in sports. I started to play competitive sports at an early age and was still competing in soccer and field hockey at college. I thought I was in pretty damn good shape. That first day in the canoe, Don wore me out and he didn’t even break a sweat. What was more humiliating was that he did most of the work. I discovered that I had whole sets of muscles that I had not developed and those muscles were screaming at me that first night.That night, as I blundered about trying to set up camp, I confessed to Don about my lack of experience. I apologized to him for having to put up with me. Luckily, Don took pity on me and agreed to help me out.I later learned that I was very fortunate that I had been assigned to Don that trip. Don was one of the more experienced paddlers and was able to compensate for my inexperience as I learned on the water. He was patient with me and never got angry at my ignorance or mistakes. He just quietly corrected me and we went on. He was even able to shield most of my stupidity from the other people on the trip.Don was also experienced in the fine art of massage. That very first night as we sat around the campfire Don sat behind me and started to work the kinks out of my upper arms and back. As an athlete, I have received numerous massages in the past, however that massage felt better than anything I have ever experienced. Not only did he sooth my aching muscles, he did it with a care that made me wish he would touch me in other ways.Over the first few days of the trip, I became more and more intrigued with Don. In many ways, he reminded me of my friend Tom from high school. He was quiet and unassuming. We would often go an hour or more in the canoe with nothing being said except for necessary commands. We just sat there and took in the wilderness. We found ourselves pulling ahead of the other canoes or lagging slightly behind to enjoy the wilderness without the chatter coming from the other boats.Don introduced me to his love of the wilderness by showing it to me. We couldn’t wait to round each bend in the river to see if a moose or bear would be uncovered. At night, we would sit near each other by the fire and just stare into the flames in silence.By the third day of the trip, I was feeling very attracted to Don. That night, I returned the favor and gave him a massage trying my hardest to convey how much I wanted him. Later, I whispered in his ear that I had a beginner question for him. What was the proper etiquette for letting my canoe mate know that I wanted to share his sleeping bag? We slept together that night and for the rest of the trip.To me, this was a new experience. I had never spent the full night with any of my prior partners. After the sex ended, one of us would get up, shower and leave. I never felt close enough to any of those partners to fall asleep in their arms.With Don, however, falling asleep in his arms felt natural. To be truthful, the sex was nothing spectacular. Don was less experienced than I was and as the trip went on, we were exhausted at the end of each day. Many nights, all we did was cuddle, kiss and go to sleep.It was the intimacy that I grew to love. Lying in the sleeping bag cuddled into Don felt so wonderful that I began to get a vague inkling of what my friends were talking about when they talked about the difference between making love and sex. Sex is merely the physical act, but making love encompasses a whole lot more. It’s all about the intimacy and feelings that surround the act.With Don, for the first time in my life, I made love to my partner. I still didn’t see the fireworks, but the emotional connection was there. His happiness became my happiness and I treasured every moment we spent in each other’s arms.By the end of the trip, I had fallen in love with Don.That summer seemed to last forever. I could not wait to get back to school to see Don again. We wrote to each other and talked on the phone, but he had an internship in an office three hundred miles from the camp where I was working. Our schedules did not allow us to see each other. I was dying to see him, but was afraid that things would be different. I had never felt like this about anyone else before and I was afraid that my heart would be broken.To my relief, Don confessed to me the first night we got together that he felt the same way. Don and I became a couple and spent as much time together as possible. By the beginning of our junior year, we were living together. We got married a year after we graduated.Don is shorter than average, thin and has an unremarkable face. Don is usually serious, but his face lights up when he smiles. He is quiet and thoughtful and very protective of those he loves.He is also a klutz when it comes to organized sports. When I first got to know him, he could barely throw a ball or kick a soccer ball. Don told me early on that he had never played organized sports as a boy. When I introduced Don to my friends from the sports department, they wanted to know why I was dating a geek.What they discovered over time was his skill in other areas. Instead of baseball, Don and his father had explored the wilderness. Don had hiked the Appalachian Trail with his father before he turned fifteen and through-hiked the trail a second time by himself the year before he started college. Don was an expert white water canoeist and kayaker and an accomplished rock climber. He looks thin, but when he undresses you notice the strength in his arms and legs. Don is built like a greyhound, lean and strong.Don still gets picked near the end for the company softball game, but he is at home in the outdoors. I trust Don with my life when it comes to planning or running an outdoor adventure.Don has taught me his love of the wilderness. We have always treasured the opportunity to get away whenever we can. We fit day trips into our schedule as often as possible and try to get away for longer trips at least once a year. Brad and Sarah have had the best of both worlds, the love of competitive sports from me and the love of outdoor adventure from Don.Lately, however, Don and I have not had many opportunities to get off by ourselves for a trip. The demands of his job and the time pressures of raising two active c***dren just don’t leave a lot of time for the two of us to get away. Why does it seem that the first sacrifice in a busy life is the time you spend with your spouse?Another sacrifice that Don and I have made is in the bedroom. Most married couples know the drill; c***dren affect your sex life. When they are infants, you are too tired to give much thought to making love; you just want to get some sleep before the next feeding. Then as they get to the toddler stage, you have more time for sex, but you always have to keep an ear out for the pitter and patter of little feet. After Brad was born, Don and I fell into the pattern of “married sex”. We made love once or twice a week, but we rarely experimented or made efforts to spice up our sex. We knew that we had to grab our chances so often we minimized foreplay and went right to the main event. We fell into this habit and never fell out of it.When we first started to go out, Don was inexperienced. He told me that he had only had sex with two women other than me. He and his girlfriend in high school had taken each other’s virginity as seniors and he had gone out with one other girl at college. Don was a willing and adana escort eager partner, but not very inventive. He would go down on me if asked and loved to get blowjobs, but neither of us put the same time and effort into our sex lives that we put into our jobs or our family. Sex was not the basis for our marriage and relationship.One thing remained constant in our marriage: the intimacy and connection I felt with Don. No he has never given me fireworks, but he has remained a compassionate and considerate lover. The frequency of our sex may have diminished, but virtually every night, we took the time to cuddle and talk together before we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Whenever we spend time away from each other, it’s not the sex I miss; it’s the little daily gestures of love and compassion that Don gives to me without thought. It’s the feeling of comfort and joy that I feel being with the man I love.My marriage to Don has not been perfect. We have had our share of fights and quarrels throughout the years and Don has hurt me pretty badly on two occasions. This happened the two times where I’m sure that he cheated on me in some fashion.The first time was when I was seven months pregnant with Sarah. Don got invited to go to a bachelor’s party with some guys from his office. What I did not know was that the dancers that had been hired were willing to do more than dance if the price was right and the best man had paid for the full package. Don came back from the party with a very guilty look on his face and avoided answering my questions on what had happened.I finally found out what happened through a chance conversation few weeks later with the girlfriend of one of the other guys to attend the party. She told me that her boyfriend had sex one of the dancers and that every guy at the party was offered his choice of sex or a blowjob. I never discovered what Don did at the party, but his behavior when he came home made me sure that something had happened.I almost divorced Don over that incident. By the time I learned about the party, I was almost eight months gone and feeling like a beached whale. I was already highly emotional because of the pregnancy and his cheating on me while I was pregnant felt like the ultimate betrayal.The only reason I did not kick him out on the spot was because I was afraid. I was frightened by the thought of going through the emotional trauma of a divorce while in the last month of my pregnancy. Terrified by the realities of trying to raise two c***dren by myself and afraid of the emotional trauma that my toddler Brad would face if his Mommy divorced his Daddy. My desire to keep our family together kept me from kicking him out.For the next month, I barely spoke to Don around the house and would not respond to any of his efforts to find out what was the matter. That was the one of the few times I rebuffed Don when he tried to cuddle with me. I couldn’t stand for him to touch me and would pull away from him and give him the silent treatment while crying silently. Don knew that I was angry with him, but to this day, I don’t know if he connected my anger to his behavior at the bachelor’s party. It’s a period in our lives that we try hard to forget. I don’t think he ever realized how close our marriage came to ending.I couldn’t bring myself to confront him. It hurt that Don cheated on me while I was pregnant, but I was hurt far worse by his failure to admit his mistake. I wanted him to confess to me on his own. So when he asked me what was wrong, I ignored him or blew up at him and told him that he damn well knew what was wrong.Even before I found out about the party, I had noticed changes in the way he was acting. He bought me flowers and gifts and he went out of his way to cater to my every whim, and increased his efforts when I started to give him the cold shoulder. He cooked for me, took care of Brad and was ready to give me a foot, back or neck massage whenever I would permit it. At first, I thought he was just being a loving husband trying to support his wife through the end of her pregnancy, but later, I was convinced that it was his guilt that drove his actions.Eventually, I forgave him after Sarah was born. Over time my anger cooled down and his obvious distress over my anger and his efforts to get back in my good graces demonstrated his love for me. I came to rationalize his behavior as a fall from grace in which he gave into a temptation that he did not seek out. I was able to forgive him for whatever happened at the party because I knew that it was merely a physical act with no emotional attachment.What hurt me more was his lack of a confession. I needed him to be open with me. But, in the end, I was not willing to end my marriage over what had occurred. Besides, even though he didn’t confess, he made an effort to change his behavior to avoid that type of temptation again. That was the last time he ever accepted an invitation to go out with that group of co-workers. He showed me by his actions that I had nothing to worry about.The other occasion was five years ago and involved a divorcee who rented the house next to us. Barb had gone through a tough time with her divorce and Don soon became her confidant and sounding board and helped her get her life back together. From the way that Don kept checking her out, it was obvious that he found her attractive. Barb was younger than most of the women on the street and dressed to show off her assets. She knew she was sexy and freely admitted that she liked to dress to show off. But I trusted them together. I had confidence in Don’s love for me.The first suspicion that I had that something might be going on between Don and Barb was an incident that happened just before she moved away. Barb had accepted a new job in Spokane and invited the whole neighborhood to her house for a going away party. Around 9:30, I got involved in an intense discussion with some of the neighbors over an incident at the school and lost track of Don. He came walking up to me about 45 minutes later acting strange.He seemed jumpy and unsettled. When I asked him if he was ok, he said he wasn’t feeling that well and asked if we could leave early. We made our excuses, went home and made an early night of it. A few days later, Barb was off to her new home and just another name on our Christmas card list.The following weekend, I received an unexpected visit from Ruth. Ruth lived up the street from us and was a woman that I did not really care for. She was the neighborhood gossip and snoop. It was not uncommon at parties to find her in places where she had no right to be and I suspected that she had no qualms about sneaking a peak inside closets or drawers to discover her neighbors’ juicy secrets.What I disliked most about her was the great delight she took in passing along salacious rumors and innuendo about suspected neighborhood affairs. Se took a malicious pleasure in passing the rumors on to the unsuspecting spouses “for their own good”. After the party, her new rumor involved Barb and my husband Don and she had stopped by to tell me her story in glorious detail.According to Ruth, there was a line at the downstairs bathroom so she had gone upstairs to wash her hands in the sink in the guest bathroom. More likely, she had gone up to check out the medicine cabinet. She said that she could hear voices coming from behind the closed door of Barb’s bedroom. She said that the voices stopped suddenly when she banged the door to the bathroom while opening it.Ruth claimed that she left the door to the bathroom open and could see the hallway through the mirror. She heard the lock to Barb’s bedroom click open and then saw the door open slightly. Barb walked out and appeared to check up and down the hallway before sticking her head back into the bedroom. She then says that my husband walked out of the bedroom and quickly went downstairs by himself while Barb stood in the hallway with a smile on her face and watched him walk away. Ruth claimed that Barb’s makeup was smeared and her clothing was disheveled “as if she had just been fooling around”.When Barb turned around, she saw Ruth in the bathroom. She claimed that Barb jumped when she saw her and gave her a guilty look. She then quickly walked back into the bedroom without saying a word to Ruth. Her final bit of gossip was that both Don and Barb looked somewhat flushed when they left the bedroom.When I heard Ruth’s story, I knew that I had to ask Don about it. What concerned me most was that I knew that Barb and Don had become good friends while he was helping her with her divorce. I needed to find out if that friendship had led Don into an affair that betrayed our marriage.While I wanted to confront him, I wanted to see how he would explain what had happened. Don did not know the extent of what Ruth had seen, nor was he aware that Barb had seen Ruth. I saw Don come down the stairs and he came directly over to me. We only saw Barb for a brief moment as we were saying our good-byes and I was next to him the entire time. She might have been nervous when we said farewell, but it did not register at the time.The party was the last time either of us saw Barb. By the next morning, he was fully recovered from his mysterious illness and was all over me. We got up around noon, bundled up the k**s and headed out for an impromptu weekend at my parents. Barb was gone before we got back.Thinking back, Don did treat me extra nice that week. I can’t swear that it was guilt but, after hearing Ruth’s tale, I could see some resemblance to the way that he acted after the bachelor’s party.This situation bore too much resemblance to the bachelor party for my liking. After we left Barb’s, I had asked him what he had done while I was talking to the neighbors and he had only been willing to give me a vague answer. He told me that he had just mingled until he started to feel ill. I couldn’t think of a good explanation why he would have been in Barb’s bedroom at all, let alone with Barb. Barb always kept her bedroom door closed when she held parties and there was no reason for him to go in there. Usually, I trusted Don if he had to be alone with another woman, but this scenario was troublesome.That night when he got home, I mentioned that Ruth had stopped by that afternoon to tell me a juicy rumor about Barb’s party. I was watching him closely and he flinched when I mentioned Ruth’s name. He knew her reputation for rumor and innuendo. When I told him that the rumor was about him and Barb, I could see him grow worried.I didn’t tell him everything Ruth told me. All I said was that Ruth had heard the two of them in Barb’s bedroom with the door closed and locked. I didn’t mention Barb’s reaction when she saw Ruth, nor the state of Barb’s clothes and makeup. I was suspicious of what had happened. I wanted to see what he would tell me.When I finished, I could tell that he was trying to figure out what I knew and how much to tell me. After all our years together, it’s hard to keep secrets from one another. It was obvious from his behavior that something had happened, but I didn’t know what.Don eventually laughed and made a snide comment about Ruth. He told me that she was imagining things as usual. He said that he had gone upstairs to use the bathroom. He was leaving the bathroom when Barb had come upstairs and run into him. When she saw him, she asked if she could talk to him privately for a minute. She motioned him into her bedroom and closed the door behind them. She wanted to thank him for listening to her and being a good friend. He then said that she gave him a kiss and a hug and he had come downstairs to find me.Don’s answer did nothing to quiet my suspicions. His story had too many gaps. He failed to explain why Barb checked the corridor before he left the bedroom. His comment about a hug and kiss did not explain why Barb’s clothing or makeup had been a mess. His explanation also would not justify Barb’s reaction when she saw Ruth.I let him know that I was not satisfied with his explanation; that I was sure there was more to the story. Don got nervous and swore to me that he was telling me the truth. The truth is a slippery thing sometimes. Even if what he said was the truth, I let him know in no uncertain terms that I didn’t think he had told me the whole truth. He may not have lied, but I thought he was misleading me. I was left to wonder if this was a one-time event or something that had been going on for a while.Later that evening, I asked Don point blank whether he and Barb had had an affair. I needed to know if their friendship had blossomed into an emotional attachment. To me, a love affair would have been an intolerable betrayal of our marriage and our commitment to one another.Don vehemently denied any affair. This was a comfort. I know Don well enough to be able to tell when he is lying to me and he did not lie about the affair. If anything had occurred, it was a one-time event. So I asked him if had ever had sex with her. While Don denied this, there was some hesitance in his answer. I don’t think he lied, but I was left with a feeling that sex had certainly been a possibility. I just didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred.This incident led to another stretch of tense feeling between us. This time, Don knew exactly why I was angry with him but tried to ride it out. He found out from a neighbor everything that Ruth had seen. He knew exactly why I did not believe him. But still, he never explained what had happened. He never apologized for trying to deceive me by telling only part of the story. I never found out what really had gone on between him and Barb.Instead, Don tried to make it up to me by his actions. We both knew that he had tried to deceive me, but that knowledge became the 800-pound gorilla that he was determined to ignore. I was hurt by his failure to address the situation. I was left to wonder what he and Barb had been doing for almost 45 minutes.I did forgive him eventually. While I hated his inability to admit that he had tried to deceive me, I finally decided to let it pass. I couldn’t explain why he wouldn’t apologize, but I could see his guilt and his desire for me to forgive him. I like to think that his guilt over deceiving me was equal to or greater than his guilt over what had happened. Maybe he was too ashamed to admit that he had compounded his actions by trying to deceive me over what had happened.I also rationalized his actions by blaming Barb. Although I never discovered what happened, I decided that Barb had tried to seduce him. It was easier for me to blame Barb who was out of our lives than to blame the man that I loved. Once again, I rationalized his behavior as him giving in to a temptation that he did not seek out.Some people might think I am weak or call me a wimp for forgiving him this second time, but, for me, it was the right decision. I thought long and hard about our marriage, our family, about Don and about what he had done. Yes he hurt me, but I always knew that Don was not perfect. I weighed his faults against the thousands of ways that he constantly showed his love for me and I decided I wanted our marriage to continue even with my doubts. Don may have had some problems but to an overwhelming degree, he was a good father, a loving husband and my considerate lover. I was not willing to abandon my marriage and put our family through hell just because he had given into temptation on two occasions.The nature of the incidents made them easier for me to forgive. The bachelor party incident was clearly a moment’s temptation that was purely physical. Similarly, I had convinced myself that the incident with Barb was a one-time event that had no chance of being repeated. Don had never entered into an affair or allowed any other woman to gain a claim on his heart. Emotionally, I distinguished sex from making love. I could forgive Don for the physical act of sex, as long as it was not a sign of an emotional betrayal.Trust was something else I considered. I loved Don, but could I trust him? Could I trust him not to slip again and, more importantly, could I trust him to be open with me? Would he keep on giving into temptation in the future? Even if I loved him, could our marriage survive with the current level of trust?This was the hardest part of my decision, but I decided that I trusted him in the matters that meant most to me. I firmly believed that Don would never knowingly set out to hurt me. I knew that it hurt him as well when he hurt me. I knew that his commitment to our family was strong and unshakeable. And I trusted him to learn from his mistakes.I did continue to have doubts. I regretted the fact that we never fully faced the matter head on. I never explained how I felt. I did escort adana worry if it would happen again. He had given into temptation twice. Would it be easier to give in a third time? I was afraid that a third incident could turn into the type of an affair that I could never forgive. But, because he refused to discuss what had happened, my doubts remained unresolved. I resolved that in the future, I would have to redouble my efforts to clear the air.And now I’m the one that slipped. I’m the one that had sex with someone else. I cheated on my husband tonight and I don’t know why.Near the end of the school year, I was selected as one of the school’s two representatives to the annual State Athletic Association conference. This conference was known as a first class affair. The school athletic director traditionally handed it out each year as a reward for a coach or teacher who had an exceptional year.It was a plum assignment: a weeklong conference held at a five star resort with plenty of opportunity for socializing. The conference schedule included morning meetings and a single afternoon session that ended by 2:30. The remainder of each day was left free so that the attendees could enjoy the facilities of the resort or the tours offered by the Association. Nights were filled with receptions and parties sponsored by the Association or by vendors.I was excited about being selected. I had heard tales about the great time other coaches had had at the conference. It was like winning an all expenses paid vacation. My only regret was that Don would not be able to attend it with me.After the initial excitement subsided, I started to wonder why I had been selected. My teams had done well and my classes had gone off without a hitch, but I had not done anything extraordinary. There was nothing to distinguish my year from that of many others in my Department and there were some that deserved it more than I did. I couldn’t figure out why I had been rewarded.Then I realized that the other representative to the conference was the school’s athletic director and head football coach, Frank Morello. Frank had been hired as football coach about four years earlier. He did a good job as coach and had an innate instinct on how to flatter the right people. His work paid off and he was named athletic director as well.While Frank was a nice enough guy to work for, he had a reputation as a ladies man. He was the type of persistent wolf that I had never had to deal with before. In the four years that he had been at the school, it was common knowledge that he had dated many of the single teachers and administrative staff. It was also rumored that he had been involved with a few of the married teachers as well.It occurred to me that Frank had started to pay a lot of attention to me over the spring season. I began to suspect that I was slated to be his next conquest. If so, the conference would provide him with an excellent opportunity to take a shot at me.I decided to talk everything over with Don. My suspicions weren’t enough of a reason to turn down the assignment. But, I certainly did not relish being placed in the position of having to fight off Frank’s advances for a week. Frank could be petty when crossed and he was well connected. I wasn’t looking forward to the possibility of pissing my boss off because I had shot him down. This “plum assignment” could end up poisoning my work environment.To his credit, Don was receptive to my concerns. He never suggested that maybe I was reading too much into the situation. Rather we discussed possible ways to deal with the situation if it arose. We rejected the idea that Don would go in and warn Frank off because I had no proof and that would definitely tick Frank off. I wasn’t afraid that Frank would attack me; my biggest fear was the affect that a rejection would have on my work situation. A sexual harassment claim was always a possibility, but both Don and I viewed this as a solution of last resort.Ultimately, Don suggested I act proactively. He suggested that I avoid situations where Frank could make a pass at me. This might frustrate Frank, but would be safer than openly rejecting him. He suggested that I sign up for activities that Frank could not participate in. He said that I should find out if I knew anyone at the conference and make plans with them for meals and evening activities. In short, I should actively work to avoid situations where Frank could get me off by myself. Don’s idea made sense and I agreed to try it.I discovered that my fears about Frank’s intentions were correct that Sunday on the plane. He wasted no time before he told me that he wanted to take this opportunity to get to know me a whole lot better. I played dumb and ignored the implication of his comments while taking his statement literally. I regaled him the entire flight with stories of my c***dren and husband. But, by his continued comments about the fun that we could have together at the social events of the conference, I could see that he was undeterred. He was planning on giving me the full court press.When we got to the resort, the bustle of registration and getting settled in allowed me some relief from Frank, but I knew that he would renew his assault that evening. I decided that I needed to find some safe cover quickly. A review of the attendee list showed me that only a quarter of the attendees were women. I quickly reviewed the list to see if I recognized anyone’s name. I wanted to start making some calls to see if I could make plans for that evening.I was pleasantly surprised to Judy Cormier’s name on the list. I had not seen Judy in over 10 years. She and I had worked together at summer soccer camps both during college and when we were both just getting started. We had become pretty good friends. We kept in touch for a while, but then Judy and her husband had moved out of state and we drifted apart. While I had heard she had gotten a divorce, I hadn’t known that she had moved back home.When I called Judy, she was excited to hear from me. She told me that she already had plans that evening with a bunch of friends, but she was sure that I would be welcome to join them for dinner. I wanted to talk to Judy again so I quickly made plans to meet her at the restaurant. When Frank stopped by a little later to see if I wanted to join him for dinner, I was able to graciously beg off by telling him that I had already made plans to meet up with an old friend. When I met the group at the restaurant, I was surprised to discover that Judy’s group of friends included four guys and two other women. Maybe I was naïve, but I was expecting a hen party.Over dinner, I was introduced to everyone. Dee Dee Evans and Rachel Morse were basketball coaches and friendly rivals from the state capital district. Art Wallace was an Athletic Director from upstate; Phil Grant and Sam Miller were former teachers who had moved on to administrative positions with the State Athletic Association; and Wayne Billings was a jack-of-all-trades coach from a small school out in the boonies.I had a great time at dinner. It gave me a chance to catch up with Judy and to start to get to know the rest of her friends. It was a friendly and open group and I discovered that we had a lot in common. We had all spent a significant amount of time teaching and coaching. We shared the experiences of marriage and parenthood, although Judy, Dee Dee, Art and Wayne were now divorced. We all had at least one c***d and we commiserated about the trials and tribulations of teenagers. Quickly, I felt like I had known them for a long time.After dinner, I was invited to join them in their evening plans. We walked over to the opening reception together and continued our conversations over drinks and dancing. I was enjoying their company and it provided me the cover I needed from Frank. I recognized the possibility that one of the guys might make a pass at me, but I wasn’t too concerned. Without potential job consequences looming over my head, I was sure I could handle any situation that arose.We danced, laughed and talked until the reception ended and made plans to get together again the next day. I politely refused Phil’s offer of a nightcap in the Association’s hospitality suite and went up to my room looking forward to the morning. I could now relax and enjoy the conference, as I believed that I had found a safe method of thwarting Frank’s efforts to seduce me.Over the next few days, I found myself spending a lot of time with Judy and the rest of the gang. I found myself looking for them at breakfast so I would have someone to sit with. Judy, Phil and I shared a lot of sessions so we sat next to each other and took our breaks and lunch together. I went to the spa Monday afternoon with the girls and got pampered outrageously.We also did things as a group. On Tuesday afternoon, the eight of us took a tour of a local Vineyard. Each night, we met for dinner. At night we bounced from one reception or party to another and danced and laughed all night long. In short, I was having a ball.By Wednesday, I found myself firmly ensconced in this group of friends. I was also happy to note that Frank had apparently given up on his plans to seduce me, at least at the conference. I saw him at various functions and he would occasionally ask me to dance, but by Wednesday morning he had stopped making efforts to get me alone. He would join us for breakfast but he stopped asking what my evening plans were. He recognized that I was part of the group and that my social plans did not include him.When I called Don Wednesday afternoon, I was on top of the world. I was having a wonderful time and looking forward to the rest of the week without worry. I thanked Don profusely for his suggestion and told him that I couldn’t wait to get home to thank him properly.That night the wheels fell off. I cheated on my husband.Wednesday night was Phil and Sam’s turn to staff the hospitality suite until it closed at 11:00. This suite was the place where conference attendees could get questions answered and problems fixed. It boasted a well stocked bar and a never-ending supply of snack foods. That night at dinner, Judy suggested that we forego the evening’s party and spend the night in the suite to keep Phil and Sam company. We all agreed so the eight of us adjourned to the suite.By now I had noticed a pattern was developing in the way that we were pairing up. I hadn’t seen anything that caused me to worry, it just seemed that at dinner and while dancing, we all tended to gravitate towards one other person. Judy and Wayne were acting like a couple and spending more and more time together. Dee Dee and Sam were circling each other and Art and Rachel had seemed to develop an understanding. That left Phil to partner up with me.To the extent that I thought about this, I was happy with the way things had turned out. Phil was a nice guy and he and I did have a lot in common. Our favorite topic of conversation was our families. From the amount of time we spent bragging about our spouses, I felt safe with him because I was sure he was happily married and not out to get some on the side.This was not the feeling that I got from Sam. I strongly suspected that Sam’s marriage was not on the strongest of footings. He appeared to enjoy the fact that he was away from his wife a little too much and I felt that he was looking to play around. For all I knew, his wife was doing the same to him. I liked Sam, but I put him in the same category that I placed Art and Frank: actively looking for some action.I viewed Phil as the safe option. That night, I discovered how wrong I was.When we got to the suite, the eight of us sat quietly drinking and talking together. I quickly noticed that the others were far more casual about kissing or touching each other now that we were alone. However, Phil did not try anything with me, at least at first. Over the next few hours, we gradually broke off into smaller groups. By 11:00, I found myself sitting on the loveseat in the suite talking with Phil. Judy and Wayne had disappeared into one of bedrooms and Dee Dee and Sam were off in the corner dancing close and necking up a storm. Art and Rachel had adjourned to the kitchenette and I could hear soft giggles and moans coming through the open door.I should have left. I should have seen that things were spiraling out of control. But, I ignored the warning signs and stayed. I still felt that Phil was safe and that he would not be tempted to cheat on his wife, regardless of what the others were doing. I sat there and allowed Phil to steer our conversation into more personal areas.Phil was smooth. He didn’t make any obvious moves or attempt to move too quickly. In retrospect, he just built on the foundation he had created over the past few days. His compliments were subtle and flowed naturally from the conversation. When he complimented me on the shape I was in, it seemed innocent the way his hand squeezed my arm and massaged my neck as we talked. When he casually shifted the hand to squeeze my upper thigh, it seemed like a natural progression. He didn’t caress me openly; he flew under the radar until I was beyond caring.Maybe it was the alcohol that reduced my inhibitions. Maybe I just got caught up in the moment and gave in to temptation. But those are just rationalizations and excuses. I have no excuse. I blew it. I allowed Phil to seduce me.When Phil reached over to take me into his arms, all I was able to muster as a defense was a weak effort to push him away and a murmured comment that we should stop. But when Phil started to openly caress my back and leaned over to kiss me, my resistance faded quickly and I found myself responding and leaning into his touch.It’s funny how your body can betray you at times. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself. I surrendered to the moment and all thoughts of Don and my marriage were forgotten.The next few hours are mostly a blur. I remember Phil standing up, offering me his hand and leading me into his bedroom in the adjoining suite. I remember the knowing grin on Dee Dee’s face as she saw us leave and Sam’s wisecrack that he would lock up. I remember the feel of his hand as it slid down to my ass when he pulled me into his embrace. And I remember the urgency with which we undressed each other.But what I remember most is the way he made me feel. For the first time in my life, I saw fireworks. It wasn’t that Phil was bigger or thicker than Don; it was his technique. Phil was very experienced and had learned his lessons well.Phil reveled in foreplay. He took the lead and encouraged me to let go and enjoy the sensations. Taking his time, he explored my body thoroughly with both his hands and his tongue and urged me to explore his as well. When he discovered that my breasts were sensitive, he took delight in teasing me to the point of distraction. While he did not neglect my pussy, it did not become his focus until I was thoroughly aroused. Then he slowly kissed his way down my body and began to eat me out with enthusiasm and skill.With Don, oral sex is the appetizer before the main event. Usually, he will go down on me for just long enough to make sure I am aroused and lubricated enough for him to easily enter me. Similarly, most of my blowjobs only last long enough to get him nice and hard before he fucks me. We each know exactly what buttons to push to make the other aroused. Don can make me cum easily, but we rarely take it that far. Even when we give ourselves a little afternoon delight, we rarely take our time. We both concentrate on achieving an orgasm as quickly as possible. But with Phil, I re-discovered the intense pleasure that can be gained from an extended session of oral sex.Phil’s approach to oral sex mirrored his approach to foreplay. He took his time and enjoyed the journey. He sucked and he licked me from my clitoris to my perineum. He nibbled on my labia and fucked me with his tongue and fingers. He gently ran his hands across my ass and tickled my rosebud. And he would stop occasionally to look up at me with a smile and whisper how much he was enjoying my taste. He didn’t concentrate on any one area, but demonstrated the range of his technique.As I felt my arousal grow, Phil showed me that he was a tease as well. He brought me almost to my peak only to stop and tell me that it was my turn. He shifted on the bed until his cock was by my face and watched with a grin as I reached out to caress his balls as I leaned my head forward to take him into my mouth. I swallowed him as far as I could and began to suck him madly as I reveled in the sensations that he was arousing in me. Phil laid his head back for a moment to enjoy the moment and then returned adana escort bayan to softly lashing my clit.After my initial voracious assault, we settled into a slow and mutually satisfying session of 69. I took my clues from Phil and altered my usual techniques. I was not out to bring Phil to a quick orgasm; I wanted to tease him as he had teased me. Finally, I could stand it no longer and began to work seriously at making Phil cum, but he did not want to cum in my mouth. He stopped me and moved back down my body to concentrate on my pleasure. He assaulted me with his hands and tongue and built my arousal up to a level higher than I had ever imagined. Finally, he pushed me over into a shattering orgasm that left me gasping for breath.As I came down from my orgasm, I could feel his head laying on my thigh and his fingers slowly thrusting into my pussy. But when he leaned forward to lick up towards my clit, I stopped him. My orgasm had left me highly sensitive and I needed to be filled. I pleaded with him to fuck me. I knew that I would start to cum around his cock as soon as he entered me. Phil heeded my plea and quickly put on a condom and climbed between my legs.Phil wasted no time but plunged into me forcefully. I was so wet and relaxed from my orgasm that he had no trouble penetrating me. In one thrust he sank balls deep and started to fuck me using long hard thrusts. I knew that our fuck would not last long. We were both already aroused and did not need much to bring us over the top. I wrapped my legs around him and urged him on with my heels on his ass. We both thrust against each other and within a short time we both exploded in strong orgasms.In some ways, the actual fuck was a let down. It wasn’t that Phil was bad, but his skill at fucking paled in comparison to his oral skills. By the time he entered me, he was already highly aroused and he was working towards his release. It was pleasurable but did not compare to the heights that he had brought me with his tongue. I’m sure that he good control and technique, but then again, so does Don. Besides his reaction after we finished reminded me forcibly that he was not my husband.My favorite part of making love to Don is the afterglow. After we cum, we bask in our feelings and slowly recover together. We remain coupled as we slowly caress each other’s body and whisper our feelings towards each other. In those moments we are totally open to each other and our love is a palpable force. It is that intimacy that changes our sex into making love.When Phil finished, he rolled off of me and lay back lost in his own space breathing deeply. I did not feel the connection. It was just sex. I did not know whether to be relieved or annoyed. We lay there for a few moments recovering side by side. I felt strangely shy. We had just had sex, but I didn’t know what to say or how to act. I had never been in this situation before. I was new at cheating.As we recovered, Phil looked over to me with a smile and thanked me. My uneasiness at the situation must have been obvious because Phil set out to reassure me that everything would be ok. He asked me if I was feeling guilty for cheating on my husband and I just nodded.Phil smiled and told me that he understood what I was going through. But, he said, I needed to understand that it was just sex between friends and that there was nothing to feel guilty about. Phil said that he had felt the same way the first time he had slept with someone other than his wife. But, he said that over time he decided that he really wasn’t hurting his wife because he only did this type of thing at the conference and he kept it casual. He said that as long as she did not learn about what was going on, she would never get hurt. Phil told me that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt either of our marriages.Phil got up from the bed and grabbed a couple of robes and handed one to me. He told me that he had something he wanted to tell me, and that he thought that it might be better if we he told me over a drink. I got up and went with him back into the hospitality suite where he mixed us both a drink while I sat back down on the loveseat. I saw no sign of Sam and Dee Dee and assumed that they had adjourned to Sam’s bedroom. The door to one of the hospitality suite bedrooms was slightly ajar and I could hear Rachel pleading with Art to give it to her. The entire situation was surreal and I could barely believe that it was happening.The door to the other bedroom opened and Judy and Wayne came out attired in robes similar to the ones that Phil and I were wearing. Judy smiled at me and came over to where I was sitting and gave me a quick hug whispering in my ear that she was there to talk whenever I wanted. Judy and Wayne grabbed drinks for themselves and sat down on the couch across from the loveseat where Phil had just joined me. By now, I was feeling confused as to just what I had fallen into. I looked from Phil to Judy and Wayne and asked someone to tell me what was going on.Phil sat there for a moment and just looked at me. He then told me that he wanted to tell me, but that I had to understand that the story could never be repeated. There were too many people that could end up hurt. Judy and Wayne just nodded when he said this. He said that he wanted me to understand what was happening and where it had all began. The three of them then took turns telling me a story that taught me a lot about my new group of friends.The seven of them had first met when they were all members of the Athletic Association competition committee about five years ago. They hit it off and over time formed an unofficial social club that got together at the annual conference and at the quarterly meetings of the committee. There had been a fourth woman, Lisa, involved as well, but she had recently changed jobs and moved out of state.In the beginning, the group was strictly a social group that got together for fun and companionship when they were away from home. But, over time, the fun began to escalate. They found themselves engaging in harmless and indiscriminate flirting within the group. Finally, at the conference three years ago, the flirting turned to kissing and casual groping. The ice was finally broken when Rachel and Sam got carried away and had sex. This encouraged the others and, by the end of that conference, they had all started having sex with each other.The last day of the conference, the group had gathered in the hospitality suite to discuss what had happened. They all agreed that they were all mutually attracted to each other. The way that they had partnered up had been as much a matter of chance as anything. They recognized that their group had changed and that they liked the change. They wanted to continue to play and experiment together in the future. From comments that they had overheard from some of their students, they adopted the friends with benefits label. From the amused glances that the three of them exchanged when Wayne said this, I think that they were secretly pleased at this label.All three of them admitted that they had each hooked up with different people each year at the conference. Phil told me that he had had sex with Judy, Lisa and Rachel and that he expected to have sex with Dee Dee at some point in the future. They just hadn’t hooked up yet. Judy broke in to assure me that the sex was all in fun and didn’t have to affect my marriage. Phil agreed and assured me that his marriage had not been affected at all since the group added sex to their repertoire of activities.Over the past three years, the group continued to play together. They even set up a set of informal ground rules to protect each other. As their primary rule, they all agreed that sex was not the primary focus of the group. They wanted to remain primarily a social group.When the group formed, they had all been married except for Judy and Art. Naturally, they were concerned that word of the arrangement not get back to their spouses. In addition, Phil, Lisa and Rachel were very concerned about whether having sex with other people would affect their marriages. They were adamant that any sex must remain casual. They did not want to get involved in any relationship that might grow to threaten their marriages.So, they established some rules. First, they agreed to limit the sex, at least between married members of the group, to the annual conference. At the committee meetings, they still socialized together, but all slept alone. Any public displays of affection were strictly avoided. The group limited sexual activity or foreplay to private situations such as the hospitality suite after it had closed for the evening.For safety’s sake and to avoid the possibility of a pregnancy, they agreed that condoms would always be used. They also agreed that there would be no group sex or multiple partners. At each conference, they would choose and remain with the same partner for that entire conference.To avoid the chance of hurt feelings and to keep the arrangement casual, they all agreed that any pairing would last only as long as the event. Phil smiled when he told me this and said that this kept the excitement fresh and added an edge to their socializing. The first few days of a conference were spent going through the dance of pairing up .He said the first year, he had been with Judy, then Lisa and then Rachel. He had assumed that he was going to hook up with Dee Dee this year, but Sam had horned in on him. That had left him without a partner until I showed up. As the three of them finished telling me about their adventures for the last three years, Phil could tell that I was still concerned. So he quickly pointed out that none of the divorces were the result of the group arrangement. Wayne butted in to let me know that he had gotten divorced two years ago when his wife had left him for a co worker and Judy interrupted to say that Dee Dee had left her husband when he couldn’t control his drinking. Sam’s marriage was rocky because he and his wife had grown apart and found new interests. Phil stated that at no point had any of their spouses even gotten suspicious. He said there was no reason my husband had to suspect anything either.The story was an eye opener. When I met up with Judy, I had no idea that I was getting involved with a group of casual swingers. Their ground rules were working. Until tonight, I had no idea that they were anything other than a group of friends that got together to socialize. Nobody at the conference suspected anything. I was amazed at how well the secret had been kept.One thing I had to know was how Phil and Rachel could cheat on their spouses so casually. Phil had repeatedly told me how much he adored his wife and I believed him when he told me that he did not want to do anything to hurt her. I knew that Rachel was equally proud of her husband. But, if that were the case, how could they get involved in this club and cheat on their spouses year after year?They had a choice. Even after that first conference three years ago, they didn’t have to continue. They could have gone back to being just friends, but they didn’t. All they did was to assure that it remained “just sex” between friends.I asked Phil and he couldn’t provide me with a clear answer. He told me that I was right, that he did love his wife and would never dream of cheating on her while he was at home. When I asked him what he would think if she got involved in an arrangement such as this he just shuddered. He said that the thought of her cheating on him terrified him. He would be devastated if she ever found out about the arrangement and confronted him.Phil told me that he had felt guilty the first year when he had slept with Judy. He couldn’t believe that he had been unfaithful. But later that night, he began to think about it and realized that while the sex had been fun and he had enjoyed it immensely, he knew that all Judy would ever be to him was a friend. He did not feel any love for her. He knew that no matter how many times he had sex with her, it would not affect the way he felt about his wife. He started to view the sex as just another form of exercise and recreation.Judy smiled at Phil as he said that and said that she understood what he was saying. She told me that while Phil was a wonderful lover and an attractive guy, she knew that there could never be any lasting relationship with him. She was glad he was her friend, but knew that it would never amount to more.Phil then went on to tell me that he never thought of the group’s arrangement as having an ongoing affair because of the ground rules. He decided that what went on didn’t count as cheating because they were just friends with benefits. He laughed and told me that, in some ways, it was better for his marriage because the group’s activities kept him from getting tempted by the high stakes poker or golf games that were prevalent at the conference. Besides, he had become a better lover from the experiences that he had and she received the benefits. Because it was just casual sex and they were careful not to let it get out of hand, he didn’t think that his wife was getting hurt. He kept on telling me that the ground rules that they all followed made this different.I did ask Phil how he thought his wife would view the arrangement if she found out and he did have the sense to look troubled. He admitted that he didn’t want to think about that. That was why he was so careful to limit things so that she could never suspect.Finally, Judy looked at Phil and Wayne and they both nodded. She cleared her throat and told me that my presence at the conference had been an unexpected boon for the group. She said that when Lisa had left, the group had wondered how they could continue without someone feeling left out. When she asked me to dinner that first night, she was just hoping to even the numbers and to catch up on old gossip. She never expected that I would become a part of their group so quickly. She commented that she was happy that I fit in as well as I did with everyone.She said that the group had talked the prior night and decided to let me know about their extracurricular activities. Everyone had agreed that I would make a perfect addition to the group. They were hoping that I would be interested in replacing Lisa. Judy smiled and said that she hoped that now that I had had Phil, I would see why the group had formed. They were just a group of friends that took their friendship to an intimate level to improve the fun that they had at the conference.As Judy was talking, Phil had started to caress me again. He had slipped his hand inside my robe and was softly caressing my breast. I could tell that his telling me about their activities had brought back pleasant memories and that he was starting to get aroused again. He leaned forward to give me a kiss and asked me whether I wanted to go back to his bedroom.His hand on my breast felt wonderful, but reluctantly, I pushed him away and told him that I couldn’t. I needed to get dressed and get back to my room to think. Phil looked disappointed. He told me that he had hoped that I would be willing to spend the night with him. But I couldn’t do it. I was confused and not sure how to respond to the invitation that I had been given. Besides, in my mind, I felt that sleeping with Phil and cuddling with him as we slept would have been a bigger betrayal of Don than just having sex with him.I stood up to retrieve my clothes from Phil’s bedroom. To his credit, he did not push me to change his mind. He just told me that he hoped that tonight was not a one-time event. Phil also told me that yesterday he had nominated me to fill the opening on the competition committee that had been created when Lisa had moved out of state.As I returned to the suite after getting dressed, Phil stood up, crossed over to me and gave me a soft kiss. Judy and Wayne also came over to give me hugs goodnight. As I opened the door, they told me that they would see me in the morning. I did not respond, but left and slowly walked back to my room.As I walked, I started to think about what had happened and what I had been invited to do. Could I do this to Don? I always distinguished between sex and love in my mind. My friends took the distinction to an extreme level. Could I get so comfortable sleeping with other people that it would not affect my feelings for Don?And what about my feelings? Was I being honest with myself when I said that the physical act of sex didn’t matter? The offer was tempting. The sex had been wonderful and the risk of getting caught seemed to be low. But my thoughts kept on returning to Don. Was I willing to risk my marriage for some friendly sex once a year?When I got back to my room, I took a quick shower and went to bed. I knew that this evening was not going to be a restful one. I knew that I needed to think and make a decision on what I was going to do.I cheated on my husband and I don’t know what I am going to do.

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