Saturday Morning Cartoons

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(This story includes several sections in italics. The are references to old cartoons that most of my generation will remember.)

“Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!…Wham!”

As Daffy’s bill got bent I laughed. Reaching over to the table, I picked up my cup of coffee and took a cautious sip, still was just a bit too hot, then I go back to the bowl of Cheerios.

“Thought I heard someone down here,” I heard whispered.

Looking over the back of the couch, I saw my younger sister, Gwen. She smiled seeing me. She looked to the TV and shook her head.

“Are you ever going to grow up. Two years at college and you’re still up watching Saturday morning cartoons and stuffing your face with cereal.”

“So ask-uth the eighteen year old girl in the Hello Kitty pajamas.” I gave the far-too-small top and bottoms a look. “You got those when you were what, Thirteen?”

“Hey…I like my pajamas. They’re comfortable to sleep in.” She walked around and grabbed up my coffee cup. I was about to protest till I saw her just breathing in the smell of it.

“Oh god, you made coffee. You have no idea how much I’ve missed this smell.” She breathed in deep the steam.

“Would you and the coffee like a room?” I asked sarcastically hearing her moan.

She sat it down with reluctance.

“Don’t tempt me. You have no idea how much I’ve missed it these last two weeks.”

I looked at Gwen with an eyebrow lifted.

“I’m grounded,”she explained.

I blinked at her for a second.

“From coffee?” I asked, not sure I’m hearing her right.


“Why…?” I kind of gestured with my spoon for her to explain.

“I lied to mom about where I was going. I told her I was going to Starbucks with Jennifer and then Jennifer came by after I left.” Gwen shrugged. “Busted.”

“So where were you?” I asked, suddenly curious.

“I was down at the lake with Jeremy.”

“Why didn’t you tell her that?” I asked, not understanding.

“Yoik’s and away!…BAM!”

I chuckled as Daffy smacked the tree.

“She caught me skinny dipping with Jeremy at the lake a month back. I’m forbidden to see him any more.” She was eying my coffee with a near lust. “Or go to the lake.”

“Gwendolyn Victoria Robert’s you naught girl!” I said, trying to pitch my voice like our mother’s.

“Yoik’s… and away!…BAM!”

She chuckled and shrugged. Her eyes went back to the coffee, her hand was starting to shake like a drug junky needing her fix.

“Oh, for goodness sakes. Here!” I handed her the cup, and even though it was still nearly scalding, she tossed it back in one long sip. “Now go get me some more. I left better than half-a-pot in the kitchen.”

Her eyes went the size of saucers, and she hurried off.

“Sweet and white!” I called after her.

“Yoik’s……. and…. away!…BAM!”

Chasing the last of the little ‘O’ around the milk at bottom of my bowl I cleaned the spoon in my mouth and set it and the bowl aside. After a moment I looked to the kitchen. I could almost picture her filling and emptying my cup, over and over.

“Any day now,” I called that way.

“Keep your voice down!” she said to me in a loud whisper. She handed me the cup and plopped down on the couch next to me. “Mom and dad are asleep.”

“No, they’re not. They went to the lake to go fishing early this morning. With Helen and Tom and their three hellions.” I took a sip of my coffee. She had it nearly the way that I liked it. “They asked if I wanted to go but the flight still has me lagged. I asked about you, but Mom said you wouldn’t want to go. I see why now. You and lake water causes your clothes to melt away.”

“Funny ha, ha… Wait. They’re not here?” she asked suddenly.

“That’s what I said. Dad told me to keep an eye out on you that you’ve been getting…buck wild…was, I think the phrase he used.”

“Could you take me over to Jeremy’s house?” she asked in a quick near-panicked voice.

I just stared at her for a moment then shook my head.

“Not taking you to see any guy that gets you swimming naked at the lake.” I took a second slow sip of my coffee. “Why, what’s the rush? He have a home espresso machine?”

She blushed to her Hello Kitty top. The sudden color was enough to even distract me from the beginning of the Two Mouseketeers.

My eyebrows climbed towards my bangs.

“Okay, what brought that on?” I asked turning in the seat to look at her fully.

“En garde, me sir pussy cat!”

Grabbing the remote, I muted the cartoon.

The blush wasn’t fading.


“Not really your business,” she said, a bit tartly, looking away from me. Her eyes came to focus almost unblinking on the little, now silent Mouse d’Artagnan.

I looked her over for several seconds then a grin started to appear on my lips. I chuckled…then I laughed. I was soon clutching my sides they hurt so much.

She looked back at me clearly getting pissed.

“What?” she finally shouted.

“I cannot believe you had the nerve czech experiment porno to ask me to take you to your boyfriends so you can have sex with him!”

“I didn’t say that!” she blushed even more deeply.

“Sis, you might as well have screamed it.” I hid my laughter behind my hand a bit. “I’m taking drama remember. I’m learning how to read faces, expressions. You might just as well yelled it from the roof tops.”

She looked away for a moment, then went to get up.

“Hey don’t leave,” I said my voice suddenly serious.

She looked at me for a half-second then started to walk off again.

“Gwen…Gwen I’m sorry…that I laughed. Okay, I get it. To you it’s something serious.” I held out my hands palms up “Sorry.”

She nodded and slowly moved to sit back down.

“So you’ll take me?” she asked after a few seconds.

“Ah… Not no, but oh hell no!”

Chuckling softly, I watched her get up, storm out the room and up the hall to her bedroom.. She slams the door to her room hard enough to rattle the good china in the dining room hutch.

I looked back at the screen just in time to see Jerry Mouse look at the camera and shrug.

I snorted at the perfect timing of that and nodded to him.

“Yea, I agree. Fucked if I know.”

I got up, went to the kitchen and poured out the last of the coffee. Carrying it with me, I went to her door and knocked.

“Go fuck off!”

“Peace offering.” I said through to door. My finger tips lightly scratch the door.

After a moment she opened the door, and I waved the cup in front of her face, while blowing the scent towards her.

She took a deep breath, her eyes closing, and an ecstatic expression crossed her face.

“You really are an ass.”

I shrugged.

“Well, you are what you eat,” I said, then slowly grinned at the look on her face that appeared. “Now… you drink, we talk. Agreed?”

She eyed the coffee then slowly nodded.


The door opened and I walked into her room. The boy band posters had changed, but other than a few more unicorns, the room looked about the same as it did when I left for college.

I moved a purple horny horse out the way and sat on the corner of her bed.

“So how long?” I asked, after she took her first sip. Looking over her shoulder, I saw she was updating her Facebook page.

“How long what?” she asked.

“How long, has my little baby sister, been having sex?” I said it as plainly as I could.

“Not really your business,” she said, giving me a look. “I’m eighteen. I’m old enough to be having one, so stay out of my sex life.”

“Does he treat you right?” I asked, looking her in the eye. “Does he respect you afterwards… or to him are you just there for sex? Does he ever call and ask if you want to just go see a movie, or is it always let’s go here and fuck, or there and fuck?”

I watched her mouth twitch for a half-second, and then she turned away, fiddling with her Facebook page again.

“You might as well answer me. I can read your face like a book now,” I told her softly.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that. Sex is supposed to be private. Just him and me. I shouldn’t even be talking with you about this,” she said not looking at me.

“Why not? Because he said so, or because you’re a bit ashamed of what you’re doing?” She looked over at me quickly, then looked away just as quick. “Ah… so it’s both.”

“Would you stop that!” she screamed at me.

I shrugged.

“It’s not like I control it anymore. It’s almost a reflex. Never mind it… Look, Gwen… I’ll be as open and as honest with you as I can. You can ask me anything, and I’ll give you a true answer. Yeah, sex is private. Yeah, it’s your body, and I have no right to know what you’re doing with it, but I’m still your older brother. I worry about you. It’s kind of part of my job description. I don’t like the idea of you with someone that’s just using you.”

“He loves me!” she said fiercely.

“Really? I’ve been back home since yesterday. I haven’t seen him. The one time I was in love it was like we were joined at the hip.” I paused, then my lips quirked. “I guess in a way we were …well, from time to time.”

Gwen was just looking at me.

“When was this?” she asked with a bit of a tone.

Almost… jealous?

“Right after I left for college. I met her in line, on the first day. We were both getting signed up for drama.” I shrugged.

“Why haven’t I heard anything about her?” Gwen all but demanded.

My face, if less schooled, would have been showing a whole lot of things right then.

“Because we broke up.”

“I thought you were in love?” she asked sarcastically.

“I was…she wasn’t.”

Gwen sat silently for a second, and then I saw her face shift.

“I’m sorry.”

I shrugged.

“It’s okay. I got over it. It hurt…still does some days, but that’s what this little game is about. Now back to your hopping into bed with Jeremy. How long?”

She took a slow, deep breath.

“About czech first porno video six months.”

“So I turn my back for one second, and this is what happens?” I asked, jokingly.

She made a face, I could see the demand to get out her room forming.

“My little sister becomes a woman,” I said softly. “Wonder what else I’m missed around here. Look…I’ll be honest with you like I said. Any questions? Mary wasn’t my first. I had a few other girls before her. I can kind of give some good advice… I guess. If nothing else on what you need to look for in a guy that’s just out for pus…sex.”

She laughed.

“Can’t even say ‘pussy’ in front of me? Lot of help you’re going to be.” She gave her head a shake.


She looked up.

“Out for pussy.” I took a breath, as I suddenly realized just how hard this little talk may become “Now… I can’t help when I don’t know, so fill me in. What’s going on?”

She shrugged and took a sip of the coffee to hide her nerves. Caffeine for nerves. Good idea.

“He and I started to date right after you left. It was just movies and burger dates at first then some kissing. Then one night we stopped by his house to get a jacket he had left and needed to take to his friend’s house. He invited me in, and then we got to talking.”

“His parents weren’t there…and he showed you his etchings?” I shook my head.


I chuckled. I couldn’t help it.

“It’s an old trick. You get the girl to come back to your place, and then you work your way around to the ‘have your ever done it before’ question. Right?”

She nodded.

“So…wham, bam, thank you Gwen, and you’re left wondering was that it?” At her nod, I smiled “Then he invites you back over one afternoon, again no parents…plenty of time to play. Explore. Show you the ropes, teach you a few things he likes. Yeah?”

She nodded, then looked away.

“I’ve been played haven’t I?” she asked then.

I suddenly felt like shit.

“Look, I can’t say for full certain…I’ve never even met the guy. He may really be in love with you.”

“He’s in love with fucking me,” she said then went very quiet. Her hand became a tight fist by her mouth. I saw rage tears building at her eyes. She smacked the top of her desk hard enough to make the coffee slosh out of the cup. “God damn him.”

“Oh fuck,” I said softly as she started to cry.

Sliding off the bed, I reached over to the arm of her chair, and pulled it to me, the little casters squeaking. She came to me with no resistance. I wrapped her in my arms.

“It will be okay. I know it hurts,” I whispered next to her head.

“That sack of shit,” she said, through her tears, into my chest.

“Shuu.” I held her head to me as she cried. Her fist would occasionally give my chest a little pop that I ignored. “It’s going to be okay.”

I held her to me and just let her cry for a few moments while I tried to order just how I want to say this.


“What?” she asked with a sniffle.

“I want you to listen to me now okay?”

She looked up. I brushed her tears away with my thumbs. She sniffled, and I reached over and pulled her out a few tissues from the box next to her computer.

“Yeah, he lied to you. He did. I want to you to remember what this feels like. Think you can do that?” I nodded with her. ” I want you to remember it because every guy you meet, till you meet one that truly falls in love with you, is going to tell you that same lie.”

Her face took on an unbelieving look.

I nodded at the truth of what I had said..

“It’s true. You will not meet a guy in this world that’s first thought on seeing you will not be ‘I’d like to fuck the shit out of her.’ I absolutely promise you that. Every guy. We will all take one look at you, with this sexy body you’ve got, and go ‘Damn, I want to tap that.’ Now…”

I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “What you have to do is look at all these guys that want to do that as either something to play with… or not. We…men… must become your play toys. Don’t let us play with you on our terms. It’s your body we’re after…play it by your rules.”

She had her head tilted just looking at me.

“If you see a guy and think he’s cute… sure why not? Take him to bed. Get as much pleasure out of it as you can. When he calls back wanting more… tell him no.” I smiled at her. “Or yes if you’re horny. Just do it on your terms.”

“Every guy?”

I chuckled.

“Sis, I honestly can’t look at a woman and not have that thought go through my head. I look at her face, then her breasts as she walks towards me, then her ass as she walks past.” I shrugged and smiled. “Honestly…when a woman walks past me the first thought that comes to mind is about how much I would like to fuck the hell out of her ass.”

“So, you’re saying every guy will look at me like I’m a piece of meat?”

“Nope. Like you’re a sex toy.” I paused, and my lips quirked. “Although, I suppose that for czech game porno a few of us, the piece of meat thing is maybe closer because we would like to eat you. At least first, then I guess it would be a matter of playing with our food.”

She blushed beautiful at that. After a moment I saw her ire started to build again.

“So guys will look at me like I’m a toy…and your saying I should look at them the same way? So I need to think like a guy?”

“Sun Tzu the Art of War. Know thy enemy as you know yourself.” Smiling, I shrugged. “All is fair in love and war.”

“I don’t know that I want to think like that,” she said, looking away from me.

“Well, that’s up to you, but Gwen you’re about to head off to college. Trust me when I say that the guys there very much do think that way. To most of them it’s a game they play, with very little care for what your heart endures. They will tell you a head full of lies that will make Jeremy look like he’s in kindergarten compared to them. They will fuck you then break your heart just to see the expression on your face.”

“How do you know this?” she asked me suddenly.

I paused and took a deep breath.

“Because not only guys play this game at college.”

She looked at me for a second, and then her mouth dropped open.

Suddenly, I had my sister in my arms hugging me.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry she did that to you.”

Chuckling, I held Gwen to me. Just how warm and soft she was, I found disturbing.

“It’s okay. I got over it. Learned from my mistake and moved on.” I gave a half-shrug at the look on her face. “Hey, the more of life you live, the better actor you can be after all. How could I play a guy with a broken heart if I never had mine broken?”

She sat looking at me for a few seconds then moved back into her seat. I watched the gears at work behind her eyes processing what I had told her.

“So, from now on, I get to go through life knowing that every guy I meet wants just to use me. That sucks big brother.”

My hands express what can you do about it. After a moment of silence, I smiled.

“Given how desperately you were wanting to go over there I take it you like sex?” I said more than asked.

She looked up quickly, then blushed.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Well…that’s a good thing. Sex is one of the few things on this planet that’s fun to do and free. It’s also good for you. Hell, that’s almost unheard of. If it weren’t for the prudes we would probably have Sexersize clubs all over the country. Hell, I would sign up for that in seconds. Get laid and tone up at the same time.”

She giggled.

“It would sure put Weight Watchers out of business,” she said smiling.

“True but then…thinking about it…Richard Simmon’s Sweating to the Oldies would have been too horrible to even think about it.” I grinned, then chuckled at the sudden disgusted look on her face.

She started to laugh, and I joined her.

After a moment when the laughter died down I looked up to find her looking at my face.


“You said we…and us…when you were talking about guys looking at me and wanting to have sex with me. Did you mean to say it that way?”

I looked at her and smiled.

“I said I would be honest so…yea. If you weren’t my sister, I would be doing everything in my power right now to talk you out of those pajamas.” I smiled. “You’ve grown into quite a sexy woman Sis. I won’t lie and say otherwise.”

She blushed but looked flattered. Then I saw a strange look cross behind her eyes. Like some inner decision being made.

“How would you do that?” she asked, giving me a look. “Talk me out of my pajamas?”

My lips quirked.

“I don’t know…maybe start with a compliment about your eyes.”

She snickered.

“That’s kind of lame.”

With sudden intensity my eyes went to her face. After a second, seeing the startled expression surface, I tilted my head a bit and slowly let my eyes take in her whole face. I let my eyes briefly drop then go quickly back to her face.

“You have the most beautiful eyes.” My hand lifted to her face, the back of my fingers brushed her cheek. I followed the line of her jaw to her chin and lifted her profile into the light. Her hair fell back out the way. “But I guess that’s appropriate. They match your face.”

I let my hand lift her chin a bit more as I moved forwards a step. Gwen’s lips were aligned with mine. I needed only lean in to kiss her.

As she noticed this, her lips parted a bit and her breath quickens. Her face flushed, but not with blush. Her tongue slipped out to quickly wet her lips.

“When a man compliments you, he can’t lie. A woman would hear the lie for what it is. You… would… know. If I told you even a simple compliment, one without really meaning it you would be able to tell.”

“So…you mean it? I have beautiful eyes?” she asked softly.

I smiled at my sister’s vanity.

“Yes…you have very beautiful eyes.”

She again licked her lips, making them shine.

“What should I do? When a guy gives me that type of compliment?” she asked, her eyes not leaving mine.

“Well, you have to decide. Not whether to believe what he’s said. Like I said it has to be the truth.” I tilted my head a bit. “YOU have to decide if you like the way he looks enough to maybe want to have sex with him.”

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